


If It Had Been the Other

by RikuKingdomHearts3



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angst, Axelnort, Friendship, Gen, Minor Violence, Norted Axel, Replica Riku lives, Saix is a nice guy, Saïx and Roxas friendship, minor blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23499013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikuKingdomHearts3/pseuds/RikuKingdomHearts3
Summary: Axel is the rude, cynical, coldhearted second in common of the Organization XIII while Saix is a rather quiet and distant regular member. How will Saix get along with Roxas when he is paired with him on missions? How well can Saix manage to work with this young and rather unique new Nobody? With time and patience, Saix starts to find spending time with Roxas isn't is not as bad as he thought.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT Note!  
> While working on my other stories to update I thought to add something else to start cross posting here in the meantime. This story STARTED being written in early 2018 so please be aware the first few chapters my writing is a bit older.

On the eighth day since Roxas was brought into the Organization, he slowly awoke and made his way to the Grey Room. There in the front of the room stood Axel, with his spiky red hair, slightly pointed ears, purple tear marks on his cheeks, and cold amber eyes. He stood there, looking through some papers with a bored expression on his face.

As soon as Roxas entered the room Axel looked up and grinned, though the expression he gave off didn't come as friendly. The grin across his face felt more cynical and cold. "There you are Roxas. Finally, it's about time you got up. I was getting tired of waiting for you."

Axel walked over to Roxas, though Roxas didn't look up at Axel, he only started at the ground. Axel snapped his fingers in front of Roxas's face several times, getting him to look up, "Hey zombie… pay attention. I am only going to say this once, so you better listen. I do not like repeating myself. I already have to repeat myself several times to Demyx about the quality of his mission reports. So I don't want you asking me to repeat anything. Got that?" Axel grumbled as he glared at Roxas.

Roxas didn't say a word, he only stared and blinked a few times.

Axel let out an exasperated sigh, "Look, this is how it works. I give you missions each day to do. And you better do them 'cause that is the whole point of this. These first few missions are just beginners ones. Easy stuff. You should _hopefully_ be able to comprehend and do it all. Do you understand that?"

Once again Roxas just stood there and said nothing.

Axel sighed again as he rolled his eyes and he muttered something under his breath, far too quiet for Roxas to hear. After running his hand through his hair, he continued on, "So today on your first mission Saix will be joining you. Right Saix?" Axel said as he looked over to Saix, a man with long blue hair and teal eyes, and small silver piercings in his ears.

Saix was staring out the window at the World that Never Was, but upon Axel saying his name he looked over at him and walked over. "Yes, that is correct." He spoke in a quiet, and slightly emotionless voice, barely given any reaction.

"Good. You'll show him the ropes and all that stuff. Now that all that is settled. Come see me when you are ready to leave. Don't take too long," Axel said with harshness in his voice, as he looked back at Roxas. He then walked to the center area of the Grey Room.

"So, we will be working together for today," Saix said, but as expected Roxas just stood there and said nothing. "Still a bit zombish I see… Understandable. Well when you are ready just let Axel know and we will be on our way."

Though Roxas didn't say anything he did slowly nod in response and then went to get ready.

After a few minutes Roxas walked over to Axel, who had his arms crossed and started to look impatient. "So you are ready then?"

"Okay…" Roxas said.

Saix made his way over to the two, Axel looked over and grinned that cynical smile again, "Have fun teaching the zombie. Don't let him screw it up or do anything stupid. I swear if he screws up a baby mission like this… ugh…"

"Of course, I will make sure he does everything properly," Saix replied as he turned to leave, but Roxas didn't move from where he was. He was staring at one of the other members, the only one in the room who had their hood up.

"Are you perhaps worried about our newest member? Number XIV, Xion." Saix asked as he looked over at Xion as well.

"Xion…" Roxas said.

"You've remembered her name. That's a good sign for you. Can you remember what my name is?" Saix asked.

Though he knew that they had to get to the mission, this did pique his curiosity a small bit, making him curious to see how much Roxas was able to remember at this point, compared to how he was on the very first day he arrived.

When Roxas had first arrived Saix saw that Roxas seemed to be completely out of it, could hardly focus on anything and just seemed to space out. Now a week later Roxas still seemed a little spacey, but there seemed to be some progress.

"It's Saix…" Roxas said.

"Good. How about the name of our leader?" Saix asked, hoping this prompted Roxas to be more aware.

"Xemnas," Roxas responded.

Before Saix could say something or ask another question Axel spoke up. "Yeah yeah, good for the zombie, he can remember names. But it's wasting time. You can go quiz him later. Get to the mission before any more time is wasted. I don't want to be waiting here all day" Axel didn't look at Roxas or Saix as he spoke, his eyes were looking down at the remaining papers in his hands.

Saix stared at Axel for a moment before looking down at the ground, closing his eyes, and letting out a sigh, "Very well. Let's go Roxas." Saix opened a Corridor of Darkness and entered into it, with Roxas following right behind. Saix didn't once look back at Axel, who had actually looked up to watch them leave.

They soon exited out into Twilight Town, in the Underground Passage. Saix looked around the area before looking at Roxas, "So your missions. Each mission you are given a task to do, and you are to do the task given completely. Each mission will have a different task for you to do, but we are starting off easy here."

Roxas didn't speak again, he just looked down at the ground.

Saix let out a small sigh, "I guess talking still isn't quite there for you yet. Let's just get this started then. Come on, follow me" Saix said as he began to walk towards a staircase. Roxas followed quietly behind.

"When on a mission, you cannot just breeze through it. You must be aware of your surroundings." Saix explained.

"What… What do you mean?" Roxas managed to ask.

"You must take time to look around and see what there is. Examine things carefully. Don't go over looking at anything. You never know if what you are looking for is right under you. Do you understand what I mean?" Saix asked.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah… I think so."

"Very good. Now there is a treasure chest in this Underground area. The point of today's mission is for you to search around and find the chest." Saix instructed.

"That's… All I have to do?" Roxas asked, looking a little unsure.

Saix nodded. "Yes. This is just a mission to help you get used to working out in the field. So something simple like finding a chest is what you are going to do."

Roxas started to look around the Underground Passage, with Saix following right behind him. After exploring around a little, Roxas came across a chest near one of the exits.

"Is this the chest?" Roxas asked as he looked at it.

Saix nodded, "Yes."

Roxas just remained silent as he stared down at the chest. There was a minute of silence before Saix spoke up, "Is there something you are waiting for?"

"The mission was to find the chest. Aren't I done?" Roxas asked.

Saix closed his eyes and shook his head. "There is more to a treasure chest than just looking at it. Chests usually have various items inside them, so it is worth taking a look inside it."

"So I should open it then?" Roxas asked.

"Yes. That would be correct."

Roxas then processed to open the chest and take out the contents that were inside it.

"Alright. Now that you've done that we can now RTC." Saix as he turned to leave.

"RTC?" Roxas questioned.

"It stands for Return To Castle," Saix explained. "Now let's head back to the dark corridor. Show me that you remember the way."

The two walked back to where the dark corridor was, when they got there Saix gave a small bit of applause. "Good. So now that you have finished your first mission, do you think you can get the hang of this?"

"Uh-huh…" Roxas muttered quietly. It almost seemed he had said something else, but Saix couldn't hear it.

"What was that? Did you say something else?" Saix asked.

"I…" Roxas said as he started down at the ground, before looking directly at Saix, "I could have done that blindfolded." Roxas said with a small bit of confidence in his voice.

Saix stared at Roxas with surprised eyes. He didn't expect such a remark from Roxas, at least not when he had been so spacey during the rest of the mission. For a new Nobody the kid seemed to hold a lot of promise for the Organization.

"Well now that the mission is over, and you have done a good job, for your first mission, you deserve a reward of sorts. I suppose…" Saix said but trailed off at the end. He now looked off towards a wall, his eyes lost deep in thought.

"Don't we have to get back and RTC?" Roxas asked looking back at the portal.

"Not right away," Saix responded, looking back at Roxas. "Axel… He knows that I sometimes take a little bit before heading back…" Saix paused for a moment before he continued. "Come, follow me." Saix said as he started walking towards a staircase out of the Underground Passage. Roxas followed quietly behind, not knowing exactly where Saix was going.

Soon they were out in the main part of Twilight Town. Saix stopped by one of the shops and bar two bars of ice cream. Once Saix had them he started walking to the clock tower. "This way." Saix said as he opened a portal in front of them. They entered and exited out onto the top area of the clock tower.

Roxas looked out at the magnificent sunset before them with wide eyes. Saix sat down in the middle and let his feet hang over the edge. Roxas slowly soon came to sit down, just a few feet away from Saix. He didn't want to sit too close since Saix always seemed to have an emotionless and distant expression.

Saix slowly handed out one of the ice cream bars over to Roxas, "Here. You deserve a reward for your effort for today."

Roxas took the ice cream and stared down at it. Saix on the other hand looked off at the sunset as he took a bite of the ice cream. He had that disant, lost look in his eyes again. There was a long silence between the two. Saix wasn't the most talkative member, since he always seemed rather distant, but Roxas just was spacey. Saix figued eventually Roxas would become more conscious and start talking more, but he decided to take this time to try and talk to him some more, since it was better than complete silence.

"You should eat your ice cream before it melts," He said. "Do you remember the name of it?"

"Umm…" Roxas said as he continued stare down at his ice cream.

Saix sighed, he knew that Roxas was spacey, but it seemed he couldn't remember anything from his first day. So Saix knew he couldn't be too hard on Roxas for not remembering something. "The ice cream is called sea-salt ice cream."

Roxas nodded as he slowly took a bite of the ice cream, "It's salty… but sweet too," Roxas muttered.

"On your first day you said those exact words. But I can assume that you do not remember already saying that."

"I did? No… I don't remember..."

"It has been about a week since you have joined us. Can you not remember anything before this day?"

Roxas just started off at sunset and didn't say another word.

"That doesn't matter though. Today is your first official day of being a part of the Organization." Saix stated as he took another bite of his ice cream.

"Yeah?" Roxas asked before taking a bite of his own ice cream.

Saix nodded slowly, "Yes. You have now started doing workout in the field, and you will be doing more from now on. You are one of us now."

"I guess it's a start…" Roxas said with a slight shrug.

After they had finished up their ice cream they finally headed back to the main portal and went back to the Castle that Never Was. Back at the castle Axel was there waiting for them in the Grey Room.

"Ah about time you guys got back. So I hope that everything went well?" Axel asked as he crossed his arms and had that grin across his face again.

Saix nodded. "Yes. Everything went fine. Roxas did his mission properly."

"That's good to hear. I expect a full report on it though by this evening Saix. I don't expect zombie boy there to start writing them," Axel said as he gestured to Roxas, "So I'll give him a pass this time. But that means you gotta make sure you include as much as you can on what he did."

Saix nodded again. "Of course."

With that Roxas was told to head back to his room for the rest of the day while Saix went to his rooms to go write out a proper mission report. Once he had done so he walked back to the Grey Room and handed over his report to Axel.

Axel gave it a quick scan with his amber eyes and grinned. "Very detailed like always." He chuckled a little as he clapped a hand onto Saix's shoulder. "So the little zombie wasn't too boring for you?"

Saix shook his head. "No. He just needs some more time to adjust it seems."

"Well he better. I expect him to start writing his own mission reports soon. If he can't even comprehend that, ugh… I don't even want to think about having to deal with that," Axel groaned. "But I hope at least he will be able to write proper reports, not like the stuff Demyx writes."

"You will just have to wait and see how he does," Saix said.

"Yeah yeah. But now I gotta go file all this work. Fun stuff…" Axel said with heavy sarcasm. With that he left the Grey Room, without a single goodbye or anything. Leaving Saix alone in the room, alone in his thoughts, something Saix had gotten used to over the years.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry : Day 8**

_Saix and I went to Twilight Town today. He taught me a lot._  
_Before we RTC'd (Returned To the Castle) we swung by the clock tower and had_  
_some sea-salt ice cream. He said it was a reward for my effort for today._

_I don't know what to write in this thing!_

**Secret Report: Saix**

_In about a week we have gotten two new members. First No. XIII Roxas and then seven days later No. XIV Xion arrives. Today Axel assigned me on a mission to help Roxas and help guide him along. I didn't really have a choice in the matter, but he isn't bad, he still is a little spaced out though. At least he shows signs of improvement._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update as I can with this story since I got a lot of chapters already. If you wanna read the Fanfiction.net version my user name is just Riku Kingdom Hearts.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next five days Roxas was sent out on missions with the other members. Learned more about the Organization and the goal they had while also taught him more things to know when out on missions.

On the fourteenth day since Roxas had joined, Saix woke up early like he always did. He got out of bed with a yawn and stretched. Though Saix wasn't second in command like Axel, who probably had already gotten up early to prepare giving out the missions for the day, Saix was always very diligent about his work.

Whether he was out on a mission or doing some task around the castle, he always was very serious about his work. It was something he had always been good at, ever since he first joined the Organization. He was the second best at doing his job, next to Axel.

After getting prepared for the day, he headed off to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. When he got to the kitchen, it was dark and empty. There were a few times where Saix actually managed to get up early enough to see Axel in the kitchen, but it would only be a few minutes before Axel would head off elsewhere to do some paperwork. He would rarely actually say a 'hello' or say anything on those days, as he would be buried deep in writing papers and checking various other things.

After Saix ate his breakfast, he made his way down to the Grey Room, where Axel was usually if he wasn't filing paperwork in his room. There, as he expected, he saw Axel, sitting on one of the couches, writing things down on the clipboard in his hand.

As soon as Saix walked into the room Axel looked up, "Ah Saix, just who I wanted to see." Axel said as he stood up.

Axel looked through the papers attached to his clipboard before pulling it off and handing it over to Saix, "You're stuck with the zombie today, have fun with that, " he said with a slight chuckle.

"The zombie? Oh… You are referring to Roxas," Saix said. He wasn't too surprised Axel still was using that insult for Roxas. Though it had been fourteen days since Roxas arrived, he still didn't talk a whole lot, but he was doing much better than those first few days.

"Of course I mean him. It still amazes me how out of it he always seems to be. At least he seemed to understand how things work around here now. He is doing good for a zombie," Axel said as he grinned.

"Do you really need to keep calling him that? He has shown a lot of signs of improvement over these days, and he probably will continue to improve," Saix asked.

Deep inside his mind he knew it was pointless to ask, but he just felt like asking anyways. Ever since Axel had become the second in command, he had a habit of coming up with various rude nicknames or just flat out insults towards the other members. The only ones who didn't get insulted by Axel were, Xemnas, Xigbar, and Saix. Saix at least knew why Axel wouldn't insult him or the Superior, but he never figured out the reason for Xigbar.

"You know how I am, first impressions are how I judge people. I don't care how they act afterwards. Unless he does something that truly amazes me, then I still see him as just a quiet, boring, little zombie, only here to help us achieve our goal," Axel said coldly.

Saix sighed. He knew he shouldn't continue on with his thoughts on the subject. Over the years he had learned that it was pretty much pointless to try and argue with Axel. Not because he was second and command and had more authority over him, but Axel would just come up with any reason that he thought of to seem like he was right.

Saix sometimes wondered if Axel was letting the power of being second in command go to his head. Saix never really thought about it much anymore, but he did wonder why Axel had changed so much even since he became second in command. Not just with his eyes and ears… but just how he acted overall. Saix knew that there had to be something, but he just never could figure out what.

With a heavy sigh, Saix went to go sit on one of the couches, without another word to Axel and began to look over the mission report. Axel just shrugged casually and went back to looking through his paper and writing various things down.

Soon a few other members came into the room and sat down on the couches. A few of them Axel talked to and gave mission sheets too. Soon the only remaining members in the room were, Axel, Saix, Larxene, Marluxia, and Demyx.

Roxas soon came in after a few minutes and walked to Axel to get his mission report as usual. Axel looked up from his clipboard and at Roxas.

"There you are. Here is the mission report. You are working with Saix today. This will be your first real mission, not the beginner stuff that you have been doing before. So you better do this extra well. I won't take your zombiness as an excuse if you fail the mission," Axel instructed with a sharp and harsh tone. He glared down at Roxas, who just remained silent as he took the mission sheet. "Check in with me when you and Saix are ready to go."

"Okay…" Roxas said as he nodded and went to get things prepared.

After he got the items he needed, he walked over to the couch where Saix was sitting. Saix looked over at Roxas and stood up, "Are you ready to go Roxas?"

Roxas didn't say anything, but he did nod in response.

"Then let's go," Saix said as they walked over to Axel to let him know that they were heading out on the mission.

Saix opened a Corridor of Darkness and they walked through, and then exited out into the Side Street of Twilight Town.

"So this will be our second mission together," Saix stated as he checked over the mission report one last time. "As well as it being your first real mission."

"Yup," Roxas said.

There was a moment of silence between the two. Neither of them said a word. Even though Saix was known for being quiet, this silence between them just felt awkward. Roxas still wasn't much of a talker so his simple and quiet responses just weren't all that much to have a conversation with.

Saix cleared his throat. "Well… Enough standing around. Are you ready to complete the mission?"

"What?" Roxas asked, looked a tiny bit spaced out. "Oh. Yeah. Let's go."

The two made their way up the Side Street while a few Shadow Heartless appeared around them. Roxas summoned his keyblade and Saix summoned his claymore and they attacked the Shadows. Once the Shadows were dealt with they made their way to the Station Heights. After looking around for a little bit they stumbled upon a group of Heartless. Several Yellow Operas and Possessors swarmed around them.

Without time to think or say a word, the Yellow Opera stuck thunder magic towards the two while the Possessors started to swarm around them. Saix gripped his claymore tightly and began swinging it at the Yellow Operas.

"Take out the Possessors first. I will keep the Yellow Operas at bay as best as I can," Saix stated.

Right!" Roxas responded as he smacked the Possessors around him. While Roxas was taking care of those Heartless, Saix kept hitting the Yellow Operas around, while also trying to dodge their strikes of lightning.

Roxas soon came up to help once all the Possessors were gone. The two of them finally managed to take out the remaining Yellow Operas.

Once all the Heartless were defeated in that area, Roxas and Saix made their way to the Station Plaza where several more Yellow Operas showed up and now also some Scarlet Tangos. The two charged at the Heartless and began to attack. They fought the two types of Heartless while also doing their best to dodge the constant lightning and fireballs being thrown at them. After a lot of dodging and attacking the Heartless in the area were finally defeated.

After a moment of looking around the area, they saw there were no more Heartless up there, so they headed back down to the Station Heights. On the way back down a couple more Yellow Operas showed up, as well as two Dire Plants. Once those were taken care of they went back to the Side Street where more Yellow Opera and Shadows showed up.

Once they had checked around for any more Heartless and saw that there were no more around, they headed back to the portal.

As they walked back, neither of them said a word. Saix felt like he should at least try to talk with Roxas again. Roxas wasn't going to become more talkative if they never talked with each other.

"Now that the mission is over, what do you plan to do next?" Saix asked as they stood next to the portal.

"I was just going to report to Axel, and then go to my room like always," Roxas responded.

Saix almost looked a little surprised, but he could understand. Since Saix always took his work very seriously, there were many times he went straight back to the castle to fill out his report. But he also couldn't believe that Roxas would just go back to his room and, presumably, just sit around for the rest of the day. Saix would at least do various other things around the castle to keep himself busy.

"Roxas, you don't have to go back and do nothing everyday after work," Saix started to say.

Just then laughter was heard from behind the two. They turned to look to see three kids running down the alleyway.

"Move it, Pence!" A boy with blonde wavy hair shouted.

"Hey, wait up!" A brown haired boy, known as Pence, yelled as he, and a girl ran to catch up with the other boy.

"Last one there has to buy the winner an ice cream!" The blonde boy said with a happy grin.

The girl shook her head, "Oh, sure, now you tell us."

"No fair, Hayner!" Pence shouted as he caught his breath.

"Better get flyin' if you don't wanna end up buyin'!" Hayner laughed as he ran towards the Sandlot with the other two right behind him.

Roxas watched the run off, and once they were out of sight he looked over at Saix, "Who were they?"

"They are some local kids who live in this town," Saix replied.

"Really? They sure acted weird." Roxas said.

Saix raised an eyebrow, slightly confused by Roxas's statement, "What do you mean by that?"

"Why did those last two seem to enjoy getting pushed around like that? They were even making those 'ha ha' noises," Roxas explained.

Saix stared at Roxas for a moment, thinking over what was just said. Saix knew that Roxas didn't seem to have any memories of his life as a Somebody, so the memories of emotions and feelings were not something he had. Saix hadn't thought of how hard it must be for Roxas to process stuff like that until now.

"It's laughter," Saix started, thinking of how to phrase it so Roxas would understand, "People with hearts they laugh at things… It's just something that they do."

Roxas slowly looked down at the ground, "Oh...I guess that makes them different from us then…"

Saix looked at Roxas, he still didn't seem to fully understand everything around him. Saix knew that he wasn't a bad kid or anything, just seemed a little lost. After thinking for a moment, Saix comes to a conclusion.

"Come on Roxas, how about we go get some ice cream," Saix suggested.

"Why?" Roxas asked.

Saix sighed. He hadn't really thought of an actual reason for it. Saix didn't really know why… it just felt like something to do. It had gotten pretty boring over the years in the Organization. Saix didn't really get along with any of the other members, except for Axel, though nowadays they barely talked to each other like friends. So much had changed over the years and now Roxas shows up in the Organization. The Nobody of the Keyblade master. The one who will help achieve the Organization's goal. Out of all the other members, Saix didn't mind so much being around him. It almost brought back the, now faint, memories of when Saix was a Somebody and would hangout with Axel's Somebody. It was something he hadn't thought about in a long time.

"It's… It's because… we are friends," Saix said. The word 'friends' almost felt foreign to his mouth, for it wasn't a word he had said or thought about in a very long time.

"So… friends are people who have ice cream together?" Roxas asked.

"That is… one way of putting it. Friends do all sorts of stuff...like those kids we just saw. Laughing at things and hanging out with each other. Come on, let's get the ice cream," Saix said as he began to walk towards the shop's area.

After the two got their ice cream they headed up to the clock tower where they sat down and began to eat their ice cream.

After a few bites of ice cream Saix spoke up, saying something he had meant to say before, "Roxas, perhaps after this, after your next mission, we can meet up back here for ice cream. Just going right back to the castle, you don't have to do that. It's nice to sometimes just sit down and relax. You don't really want to just keep going back right after each mission and sit around doing nothing, do you?"

"Ha ha, nope!" Roxas chuckled slightly. "Hey I laughed… I guess we really are friends."

Saix looked at Roxas with surprise, he hadn't expected the small laugh or what was said. But he didn't mind. After all these years it was nice to have someone who felt like… a friend.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry : Day 14**

_Saix and I went on a mission to Twilight Town. Afterwards, we went and had ice cream again up on the clock tower._   
_He said that friends do stuff like that. Or they that laugh over things together. So does that mean me and him are friends?_

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Today I was assigned another mission with Roxas. It was the second mission we have done together. By now he has begun to talk more like a regular person, perhaps some of his memory has come back. He has shown good progress since he first joined. It is still hard to believe that he is the Nobody of the Keyblade master, but I suppose he really is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is still crazy to think I started writing this back in 2018. So all of you reading this now will get to see my writing evolve as I have been writing this for over 2 years now.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next several days Roxas went on missions with the members. Saix was mainly back at the castle, doing various chores or tasks given to him by Axel. But at the end of the day, when both of them had finished their work, they would meet up on the top of the clock tower.

They didn't talk a whole lot, though when they did, they would have small conversations about the day and how Roxas was doing at his missions. Roxas still was spacey a lot of the times, zoning out as he looked out at the sunset. But even though the two didn't talk much it was nice and peaceful up there on the clock tower.

On the early morning of Roxas's twentieth day Saix had just woken up and was heading to the kitchen. As soon as he entered the room, the lights were already on and he had the rare chance of seeing Axel in there, sitting at the table. Though he was writing things down on various papers as usual, this time he looked up at Saix.

"Ah, Saix. It's good that you're here. There is some important stuff I gotta discuss with you. Take a seat," Axel said as he motioned to the seat next to him.

Saix quietly sat down and stared over at Axel. He had that cynical grin on again with his cold amber eyes staring right at Saix. "What is it?" Saix asked.

Axel leaned forward, placing his arms on the table. "So, the Castle Oblivion plans. They are going into action much sooner than expected. Be prepared to leave tomorrow," Axel replied, with a tone of seriousness.

"Tomorrow? Why so soon?" Saix asked.

Axel shrugged rather casually, "Things happened and stuff. Doesn't matter really."

Saix sighed quietly, he could tell that Axel probably knew something else, but of course Axel wasn't going to tell him. Saix could only nod, "Alright. Understood."

"Good," Axel said and then chuckled, "Oh yeah, you're helping out zombie boy on his mission today. Big mission for him, make sure he doesn't die or anything. Hey maybe when you come back from Castle Oblivion he will finally be fully competent and not so worthless."

Saix closed his eyes and sighed again. As much as he wanted to argue against Axel, and try to tell him to stop bashing on Roxas, he had to keep reminding himself that it just wasn't worth it to do so. Axel wouldn't listen to what he had to say.

"Well I gotta go get some files and other things ready for you and the others for when you head out over there, and of course tons of other work too," Axel said before gathering up his papers and leaving the kitchen.

Saix stood up and then went to get some food to eat. He grabbed a bowl and filled it with cereal and after pouring in some milk. Once he sat down and began to eat, he started thinking about the mission...and the plan for Castle Oblivion. He would leave with several of the other members for a while.

Saix then thought of Roxas, and how they would not be able to have ice cream together for a while now. After the past several days Saix had begun to think of Roxas as a friend. He knew their conversations were not very talkative, but it was nice to have someone who Saix actually felt like he got along with to talk with if he felt so inclined to.

" _Hmm... I wonder... should I tell Roxas that I will be leaving for Castle Oblivion?..."_ Saix thought to himself as he finished up his food.

Later on in the day Roxas entered the Grey Room. The members that were in the room were; Xigbar, Xaldin, Luxord, Axel, and Saix. Saix was off in the far corner of the room, staring out the window again.

"Roxas, hurry up already. Pick up the pace and get over here," Axel grumbled loudly as he crossed his arms. Roxas quickly hurried up and walked up to Axel. "Today is a mandatory mission. You must complete it fully. Don't go slacking off or mess up. Saix is going to help you out today. Just inform me when you are ready to leave." Axel then handed Roxas the sheet containing the mission information.

After that, Saix walked up to Roxas, "I am ready to leave when you are."

Roxas nodded and prepared to leave. Shortly after getting things ready the two left for Twilight Town. They exited out of the portal and into the Station Plaza. There was silence between the two.

Saix looked over at Roxas, he was staring off into space again. It was becoming less frequent, but Roxas still had those spacey moments. Saix cleared his throat and spoke up, "Today's mission. We are here to defeat a Guardian, correct?" Saix asked Roxas, to make sure he was paying attention.

Roxas looked up, "Huh? Oh, yeah, I think so."

Saix sighed and shook his head, "You must try to stop spacing out so much. Let's get to finding this Heartless."

The two made their way over to the Underground Passage, while fighting Heartless along the way. When in the Underground Passage they encountered more Heartless, which of course they fought off and defeated. After maneuvering through the area they finally came to the tunnel that led up to the Side Street. As soon as the Heartless in that area were defeated they made their way down to the Sandlot.

Just as they got down there, several Watcher Heartless appeared and one large Guardian Heartless. Saix raised his weapon preparing to strike, "There is the target. Let's go!" Saix then charged right at the Guardian.

"Right!" Roxas shouted as he grabbed his keyblade and began to take out the Watchers that were flying around.

Before Saix realized it, Roxas had already taken out all the Watchers around them and now was helping defeat the Guardian. Within just a few minutes the Guardian came crashing down to the ground and a glowing heart rose out of it and into the sky above.

Saix dismissed his weapon. "Very impressive Roxas. A mission well done. Your abilities and skills have come a long way over these past days."

"Are we going to get some ice cream now?" Roxas asked.

Saix nodded with the slightest of smiles. "Of course."

The two got their ice cream and headed up to the clock tower. Once there, they sat down and began eating. As they usually did they sat quietly and ate the ice cream as they watched the sunset.

Only after a few minutes did Saix finally speak up, though he spoke quietly. "It's strange to think… that I will actually miss this."

"This?" Roxas asked as he looked over at Saix.

"This whole having ice cream after work thing," Saix replied.

"Huh? Why is that?"

"As of tomorrow I will be elsewhere for a while."

Roxas looked back down at his ice cream. "Oh…"

Saix stared at his ice cream, thinking over whether or not he should tell Roxas why he was leaving. Roxas was a nice kid, and was now his friend. There wasn't any problem in telling him and Saix wouldn't want to worry Roxas too much. Finally he came to his conclusion, "I am letting you know this because you're my friend. I will be going away to Castle Oblivion for some time."

"Castle Oblivion?"

"It is the Organization's secondary castle and it's located in the world between worlds. It is not used as often, but for what I need to do I am to go there along with several other members. What we are doing there must remain classified though. So for some time I will not be here to have ice cream, nor will I be around at the castle. Do you understand?" Saix asked, wanting to make sure Roxas understood the situation.

Roxas nodded, "Yeah...I guess so. I just wish I was told more of these things sooner."

They sat in silence after that, neither not really wanting to talk or say something. Once Saix took the last bite of his ice cream he stood up, "I should probably head back now. There are more preparations I need to do for tomorrow. Will you be alright on your own?"

Roxas nodded, "Yeah…"

"Alright. Then I will be off then," Saix said before heading off towards the portal that led back to the castle.

Once Saix had left, Roxas went back to eating his ice cream. It was quiet, but not the usual quiet that he had gotten used to. Roxas figured that it would be strange now eating ice cream up where without Saix. After getting to know various other members through talking to them in the Grey Room or going on a mission with them, Saix seemed like the nicest one. Saix wasn't rude or harsh on him like Axel was or a few of the other members were. He just talked to him, when he did feel like talking, like a normal person.

Roxas looked down to see that he had finished his ice cream, upon looking at the stick he gasped with surprise, for on the stick was the word "winner". He headed back to the Castle that Never Was, in hopes of seeing Saix, but he didn't.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry: Day 22**

_Saix told me that he is going off to a place called Castle Oblivion. He said that he told me because we're friends._   
_He left early...for more preparations or whatever, but only after he left did I notice the word "winner" on my ice cream stick. I didn't know you could win something from eating ice cream… I wonder what it is. If I see him tomorrow I will ask him...Though he said he wouldn't be there for sometime...but maybe he might be in the morning._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Axel informed me that the Castle Oblivion plans have been moved up. Though Axel will not tell me the specific reasoning for doing this, I assume it has something to do with the keyblade master boy. The boy…his Nobody… I have been having ice cream with him at the clower tower over the past several days. Having someone join me at the clock tower for ice cream...it isn't something I thought I would be doing again…_   
_I have been watching him improve over the days, not just in his field, but also in his expressions when we talk. He has started to lose the zoned out gloomy expression, but he still seems to zone out a lot. I explained about my situation about going to Castle Oblivion, but I am not completely sure he understood. But it is understandable because of his status. I can only hope he will do alright on his own for a while._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention in the other chapters, but yes I like adding the secret reports. They were a fun element I thought would be cool to add and how I thought good Saix would write them. See you all next time!


	4. Chapter 4

The following morning Saix woke up earlier than normal, as he would be leaving with the five other members headed to Castle Oblivion. After getting prepared and grabbed some food he headed out to leave.

He was walking through Nothing's Call when Axel came walking from the other direction. Just as they were to pass each other Axel placed a hand on Saix's shoulder and looked over at him.

"So got some info for you from Lord Xemnas. Some of the members going to Castle Oblivion are traitors to the Organization. When the moment is right…" Axel chuckled a little, "Find them, and dispose of them."

"And I would assume that Lord Xemnas actually said that?"

Axel chuckled again and gave Saix the cynical smile, the smile that he used so much more since becoming second in command. The smile that made him seem so different than before. "Heh, just don't forget your instructions. You know what to do," And with that Axel walked off.

Saix stood there for a moment, thinking over everything. After a moment of being alone, he sighed and made his way to where he was supposed to meet up with the other Castle Oblivion members. There was a lot he had to prepare for.

* * *

Later that morning Roxas came into the Grey Room. "Saix?" He asked, before he looked around the room, hoping to see his friend. But unfortunately he wasn't there. The only members in the Grey Room at the time were Demyx and Xion.

"Don't bother looking. Saix already left," Axel said as he walked up from behind Roxas. He didn't even give Roxas a chance to respond as he walked to his spot near the window.

Roxas sighed and looked down at the ground. He pulled out the ice cream stick from his pocket, "But I wanted to ask Saix what I won…" He muttered quietly. "I'll just have to remember to ask him when he gets back." After Roxas placed the ice cream stick back in his pocket he walked up to Axel to get his mission for the day.

"Alright," Axel began with a sigh, "listen carefully. Starting today you will be doing your missions alongside Xion. Make sure you read exactly what I wrote in your mission briefs." Axel then leaned forward and glared at Roxas, "Don't think I will go easy on you. I expect no slacking from you. Just because Saix isn't here to babysit you doesn't mean you can be lazy like Demyx. Prove that you are actually worth wasting my energy talking to."

Roxas nodded slowly before getting some items to bring along on the mission. Once he had what he needed he walked back over to Axel. Xion was now standing near him, her hood still up.

"Alright you two ...today is the first mission you guys got together. There is a specific Heartless to eliminate. So don't screw it up. I guess you will have to be in charge Roxas." Axel sighed.

Roxas looked up with a little surprise. "Me?"

"Yes you. You're still such a zombie… But you are the slightly more competent one between you guys," Axel groaned as he rolled his eyes. "Now stop wasting time and get going already."

Roxas nodded with a sigh. He was starting to catch on now that Axel would probably always find a way to insult him. He looked over at Xion as he opened a dark corridor, "Are you ready to leave?" He asked and Xion nodded slowly.

The two then entered into the corridor and went to start their mission. They entered into the sandlot in Twilight Town. Roxas thought for a moment what he should do. He had never been put in charge of his mission before. He had only been with other members before. How exactly was he supposed to be in charge? Roxas thought back to the missions he had with Saix. He remembered how calm and serious Saix was when they did their missions.

Roxas cleared his throat. "Ready to do the mission?"

Xion didn't say a word, but she nodded in response.

"Well… let's get going then…" Roxas said as he started towards where the Heartless was located.

In silence the two of them headed into the Underground Tunnel, taking out Heartless on their way down. Eventually they reached the area where the main target was; a Poison Plant Heartless. It sported up from the ground and the two began their attack on it. Once it was defeated they headed back to the Dark Corridor. Once again neither of them talked, and the air held that awkward silence all the way back to the corridor.

Just before Roxas headed into the Dark Corridor he faced Xion, "Um… You go RTC without me. There is something I need to do."

Without a word Xion entered the Dark Corridor, leaving Roxas all alone. Roxas then headed into the main part of town. He bought himself a bar of ice cream and headed up to the clock tower. He looked around, hoping that Saix might just be there, but there was no one else. With a sigh Roxas sat down and ate his ice cream. He was used to having a lot of silence when he would eat ice cream with Saix, but it was strange to just be by himself. He sat there and ate his ice cream, wondering when Saix would be back.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry: Day 23**

_I hoped to see Saix this morning, but Saix left before I even woke up. I didn't get to ask him about the ice cream stick._

_I was partnered up with No. XIV for today's mission. Xion wore a hood the whole time and wouldn't say a word to me. Come to think of it, I didn't have a whole to say, either. I couldn't think of anything to say, though if Saix were here I know we would at least say something to each other. This was different though._

_Afterwards I went and had ice cream by myself._

* * *

The following day Roxas got up, grabbed some food, and headed to the Grey Room as usual. As Roxas headed down the hallways, he hoped again that Saix would be back. He would be back and they could enjoy their time having ice cream again. But sadly upon entering the Grey Room, Saix was not there again.

The only members there at the time were Xigbar, Demyx and Xion. She still had her hood up and Roxas still could not figure out why. Roxas wondered if she would ever take off her hood, but then dismissed the thought as he joined into the conversation with Demyx and Xigbar.

They briefly talked about how it was much more peaceful now that half the team had gone off to castle oblivion, with Demyx referring to them as "Bossy co-workers." Roxas frowned slightly at the sound of that. He didn't see Saix as bossy. While Saix was serious and hard working, he never had come off as bossy before.

Just a few minutes later Axel came into the room. He walked by Roxas, shoving him slightly and giving a glare. "Stop standing around and get to work. I don't have the time to wait on you while you chat with everyone. Same goes to the rest of you."

The members then went off to different areas of the room, to prepare or do whatever it was they did. Roxas really never knew what the other members did when he was out on missions. He knew it was probably something important, but couldn't figure out what it was.

As he was getting his items he passed by Demyx, who was sitting on one of the couches. He was quietly strumming his sitar with a cheerful look on his face. He looked over at Roxas. "I love days when Larxene is out. I can sit around playing my sitar...instead of being a gopher!" His little smile faded away, "Well… until Axel yells at me to stop… I hardly ever get to have time to practice."

Roxas shrugged at Demyx's comment. He didn't play an instrument like him so he didn't know how to respond. After all his items were gathered he went up to Axel to get his mission report.

Axel flipped through some papers before handing them over to Roxas, "So, you're paired up with Xion again today. Blah blah...you should hopefully understand what you are doing now. So go and complete your mission."

Roxas and Xion headed out into Twilight Town again. They went along their mission to defeat some Heartless like they had the last time. Again neither of them spoke to one another, so it created some awkward tension. But Roxas pushed through it. It wasn't all that bad, but Roxas did wish that they were able to talk a little to each other. Once their mission was complete the two walked back to the Dark Corridor.

A few feet away from it, Roxas stopped. "I have something to do again today. Go on without me." Roxas turned around and started to walk away, knowing Xion would have nothing to say back.

"R… Roxas…" A faint voice spoke from behind him.

"Huh?" Roxas asked as he turned around, looking at Xion. "Did you say something?"

Xion turned to face Roxas, her hood still up. "Your name… is Roxas. Isn't it?"

Roxas slowly nodded. He was surprised at this. He didn't think that Xion would ever say a word. "Yeah… that's right."

Xion then turned to leave through the Dark Corridor. Roxas was alone again, but now he had new thoughts to think over. He slowly made his way to get ice cream and then headed to the clock tower. Sitting on the clock tower he thought more about Xion, still wondering about what she said.

"My name… Was that the first thing Xion ever said?" He wondered to himself. He tried thinking back to when Xion first arrived to try to remember if she had said anything beforehand. But Roxas still had some fuzzy memories from back then. "If Saix were here...he would probably know." Roxas said with a sigh he continued to eat his ice cream.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry: Day 24**

_I was teamed up with No. XIV again today. We finally talked a little...Xion even said my name for the first time._   
_Afterwards I had ice cream by myself again. Saix still hasn't come back yet._   
_The lady at the shop said you can trade the 'Winner' stick for an extra bar. But I can't eat more than one._

_I wonder when Saix will be back._

* * *

The next day when Roxas entered the Grey Room he walked right up to XIon. He had begun to wonder if Xion would talk to him again. "Morning, Xion." He said as he walked over to her. Her hood was still up and she didn't say anything. "Umm...something the matter?"

"Good… morning ...Roxas…" Xion finally said, although it was almost inaudible.

Before Roxas could try to talk to Xion anymore Axel came into the room, his hands full of papers. "Hey zombies, stop standing around and get prepared for today! There is a giant Heartless that has shown up and I would like it if it could be eliminated sometime today. Preferably now. I don't pay you two to sit around and chat."

"But...you don't even pay us…" Roxas stated. He never got anything for doing any missions before. He just had to always fill out those annoying mission reports after each mission. There was nothing he did for the Organization that he got "paid" for.

Axel glared with a look of annoyance, "I pay you by not burning your ass. Now unless you want me to punish you for slacking, like I have done to Demyx before, get going already!"

Not wanting to deal with, or make Axel even more angry, Roxas and Xion immediately left for their mission. The two entered out onto the Side Street of Twilight Town.

"Roxas," Xion said, drawing the attention of him. She reached up and pulled off her hood and revealed her face. She had short black hair and deep blue eyes. "Good luck today."

"Th-thanks. You too, Xion," Roxas said as he started with surprise. He knew that Xion had a face, but he didn't ever think that he would see her taking off her hood. Roxas still wondered why she had kept her hood on for so long, but he didn't feel like asking at the moment. They had a mission to do.

They headed up to the Station Plaza where the Heartless was said to be roaming around. As they looked around the ground shook as a large Heartless appeared behind them. Standing several feet tall was a Darkside Heartless and it was preparing to strike. Roxas and Xion went right into fighting it. The battle went on for a little while, but eventually the Darkside smacked its hand down at Roxas, knocking him back and causing him to drop his keyblade. In a flash of light the keyblade appeared in Xion's hand. Without any time to think what just happened, Xion ran at the Darkside and delivered the final blow.

"Whoa!" Roxas said as he stood back up, "Xion, I didn't know you could use the keyblade."

"Yeah… neither did I."

Roxas thought for a moment. He thought it was amazing that Xion was able to use the keyblade. He had thought he was the only one that could do it, but now here was Xion. She really had shown a lot of effort today in the battle and that caused Roxas to remember back to his first mission with Saix. An idea formed in his head.

"You did great. In fact, you deserve a little something extra," Roxas said as he stated walking up to the station.

Xion tilted her head. "Something extra?"

"Yeah, a reward for your effort today. C'mon. There's this place I wanna show you, but first…" Roxas trailed off, "Wait here a moment." He ran off towards the main area of Twilight Town, where all the shops were. When he returned he had Xion follow him up to the top of the clock tower.

Xion looked around. "How'd you find such a great place?"

The two of them sat down as Roxas handed an ice cream bar over to her. "Here ya go." Xion reached out and took the ice cream. "It's called Sea-salt ice cream. Go ahead and try it."

"Okay…" Xion said as she looked over to Roxas before looking back at her ice cream and taking a bite. "It's sweet. But kinda salty, too."

"It's really good right? Saix and I always meet up here after work for the day." Roxas said before taking a bit of his own ice cream. "Sea-salt is Saix's favorite flavor."

Xion giggled, "Sounds like it's yours, too!"

"Heh, yeah… I don't remember it very much, but Saix said he brought me here my very first day with the Organization and that we had ice cream. Then after my first mission Saix brought me here to have ice cream again. Saying that it was 'a reward for my effort'."

"Like what you said to me?" Xion asked.

Roxas nodded. "Exactly."

"You guys must be really close."

"Well, Saix and I are friends. He's my first friend," Roxas explained.

"Friends… Roxas, do you think I could be a friend?"

Roxas pondered for a moment. He didn't know what Saix would think, but Roxas didn't think it would hurt. "When Saix gets back, we can ask him. Then we all can have ice cream together."

"Okay." Xion responded cheerful as she took another bit of her ice cream.

Roxas Diary Entry: Day 25

Today was my third day with Xion. I have gotten to know a little more about her. I even saw her face! She can also use a keyblade, just like me!

After we finished our mission I took her to the clock tower for ice cream, but I am holding on to the 'winner' stick. I want to show it to Saix and get him a free ice cream when he returns. Xion also wants to have ice cream with us from now on. Maybe we'll be friends. I think it will be nice.

The following morning Roxas woke up and got out of his bed. Roxas yawned and stretched, "I wonder what today's mission is. I hope it's with Xion." While Roxas hoped that his mission was with Xion, he also kept hoping that today would be the day Saix returned. He already had so much he wanted to tell him.

Roxas headed into the Grey Room and overheard a conversation coming from Demyx and Xigbar. Roxas walked a little closer to hear what they were talking about.

"... Then what in blazes did happen?" Xigbar asked.

Demyx shook his head, "Don't look at me, man. I just found out minutes ago."

"Is everything okay?" Roxas asked.

"Okay? As if. Word has it, at least one of the folks we sent to Castle Oblivion has been terminated."

Roxas's eyes wided, "Terminated? But that means…" Roxas started to think about Saix. Was he the one terminated or was he safe? Many questions began to form in Roxas's head over this news.

Axel entered the room and walked over Roxas. He handed over the mission papers to Roxas briskly, "Today you get to go to another world. You are going to go to Agrabah with Xigbar. Get ready."

"Um… Is it true about Castle Oblivion?" Roxas asked. He had a feeling that Axel probably would not tell him, but he had to try at least.

"That is not something you need to be concerned about," Axel stated as he looked over the other remaining papers in his hand.

"But what about Saix?"

Axel looked up from his papers, giving a cynical smile towards Roxas, "I don't know. Maybe he was the one that was terminated."

Roxas covered his mouth as he gasped, "But…"

Before Roxas could continue Axel grabbed onto his wrist. He squeezed it tightly, causing Roxas to wince. Axel's eyes seemed to be filled with frustration and anger. "No buts. Just shut the hell up. I will not tolerate you asking so many stupid questions today. I got a lot of work to do dealing with what happened. It _isn't_ fun. So stop asking me about what happened at Castle Oblivion and get to your mission. Or there will be consequences. Understood?" Axel squeezed Roxas's wrist a little tighter.

Roxas slowly nodded. He muttered quietly through gritted teeth, "Understood…"

"Louder so I can actually hear your pitiful response." Axel instructed harshly, not once loosening his grip on Roxas's wrist.

"I understand," Roxas said, speaking up a little louder. He wanted to say something more, but he knew it was not a good idea to speak out against Axel.

Axel let go of Roxas's wrist, giving a cold hearted sneer, "Good. Now let me know when you are ready to leave. Don't take forever."

Roxas nodded as he went to prepare for his mission, rubbing his now sore wrist as he did so. He could help thinking about what happened at Castle Oblivion though. Was Saix the one who was terminated? Or was Axel just saying that to mess with him? Roxas didn't know and now he had worried thoughts floating around in his head. He knew he couldn't ask Axel about it, but maybe he would try to ask Xigbar during their mission.

As soon as Roxas was ready he and Xigbar headed out to Agrabah to conduct some recon. Though during the mission Xigbar wasn't all too helpful in giving any information. He didn't seem to know anything more about what happened, nor did it seem he really cared about it. Xigbar kept telling him though if he just focused on the mission and got it down he could maybe get some answers back at the castle. Roxas went about the mission with Xigbar until he started feeling light headed. When they returned to the Dark Corridor his head started to hurt even more and then he collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I had a lot in this chapter over the days but I wanted to get through it as best as I could so I could get through to the Castle Oblivion stuff next.   
> Either way hope you are enjoying and see you next time!


	5. Chapter 5

After Saix had his small chat with Axel, he prepared to leave for Castle Oblivion with the other five members; Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, and Larxene. As Saix gathered what was needed, he briefly thought about Roxas. It was far too early in the morning for him to be awake so there would be no chance of seeing him before leaving. Saix frowned ever so slightly at the thought before focusing himself back at the task at hand.

Soon enough he met up with the other members at the entrance of the castle, though he did not speak much to them. He never really had a need to talk to any of the other members before, but now he knew there would be instances where that would be the case.

Waiting for everyone at the entrance of the castle was Axel, standing right next to a corridor of darkness. He stood there with his hands full of various papers and notebooks, looking through a few of them before everyone was there. There was a brief discussion over the plans that were to go down at Castle Oblivion, involving the keyblade master boy and various other things. Once the discussion was done the six members entered into the portal and exited out over at the second castle.

Saix had known about the castle for sometime, hearing things from Axel and some of the other members. No one truly knew though where it came from, or how its unnatural magic worked, or even how long it had been there. But there were many more mysterious than just that hidden within the castle. Saix knew that it would be a challenge to look through this entire castle, but he had to at least attempt to do some of it.

The group split up after entering into the castle, with Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion heading to the basement section of the castle and the remaining three headed up to the top level. Once up there they entered into one of the rooms, and there sitting in the very empty and white room was a young girl. A young girl with blue eyes and shoulder length blonde hair; Namine.

Saix had heard about her from the meeting briefings long before leaving for Castle Oblivion, but he had never seen her until now. She quietly sat in the corner of her room, drawing in a large sketchbook. At the sound of the three entering, she slowly lifted her head and looked over at them. She seemed to tense up a little, holding her sketchbook across her chest, but did not make an attempt to say anything or move.

Saix almost wanted to feel bad for her. It was not her choice to be held up here, nor did Saix believe she truly wanted to go through with what they were going to make her do. He knew though that they needed her for the Organization's plan, her special abilities were what made her stand out from the rest of them. And those unique abilities were what they needed to go forth with their plans. But still Saix pitied her ever so slightly.

Once the preparations were set, all they had to do is wait until the last key element was in place. And that element being none other than the keyblade master boy himself. They just needed to wait until he was close enough to the castle. Namine was to inform Marluxia as soon as the boy was within close proximity to the castle, but until then they had to wait.

A whole entire day had passed by with nothing to report, but after that Namine informed that Sora was near. As soon as her words were spoken Marluxia took off in order to try to lure Sora to the castle. Saix carefully watched as Marluxia drew Sora in, using seemingly harmless words, but in truth they were manipulative words. Words meant to trick and deceive Sora into easily falling into Marluxia's trap. Saix made sure to keep track of all of this, as he watched the event play out. He knew though that eventually he would have to step in one way or another.

Time had passed and Sora had made it through the first floor of Castle Oblivion. Marluxia had left the room again to go down to meet with Sora again, though this time Saix felt like he should interfere a bit. Not just because he felt like it needed to, but there was more to it than he realized.

"Well, Sora? Did you enjoy meeting your memories?" Marluxia asked, his hood still up as he was not yet wanting to reveal himself to Sora yet.

"Yeah, it was good to see everyone. But what do you really want from me?" Sora asked.

"What do you have to give?" Marluxia asked as he started to walk towards the group.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all summoned their weapons, preparing to fight. But before Marluxia could get any closer Saix stepped out from a dark corridor behind him. He didn't speak a word, but he knew that his presence was enough to get Marluxia's attention. In this time Saix looked over at Sora, the keyblade master. The boy who was the Somebody of Roxas.

"What do you want?" Marluxia asked as he did in fact stop and turn his attention over to Saix.

"I came to observe the so-called hero," Saix stated. While he did want to keep an eye on Marluxia there was still that other reason. Now seeing Sora right in front of him realize what it was. He was actually a little bit curious to see Sora. His curiosity had been piqued at having the chance to see him. After all Saix had spent time with his Nobody. So getting the chance to see Sora in action was really something to want to see.

Marluxia's turned his head back slightly. "If you wish to observe him, then perhaps you'd like to test him instead."

"Perhaps," Saix simply replied.

With the flick of the wrist Marluxia sent over the next card to Saix, who caught it with ease. A dark corridor formed around Marluxia and he was gone within the next second, leaving Saix to deal with Sora on his own. He focused his eyes back onto Sora, who was staring back trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.

"Well keyblade master, we finally get the chance to meet," Saix started.

"Okay?" Sora asked, still trying to figure everything out.

"If you must know, my name is Saix," Saix then added.

"Um… all right?"

"Well Sora," Saix said as he took a step closer. "Now that introductions are over," Saix held out his hand and summoned his claymore. "Let's see how great of a hero you really are."

In response Sora and his friends summoned their weapons and took to their battle stances. Saix found himself smiling a little, this wasn't just going to be a casual fight. This was a fight that was going to be far more interesting.

Saix had fought alongside Roxas plenty of times, but he had never actually engaged in a fight with Roxas. He had seen how Roxas fought against the Heartless thought, so it gave some idea of how possible Sora may fight. But it was still very possible that Sora had a completely different way of fighting. All of it made Saix wonder more and become more intrigued in being able to fight Sora.

Without a word Saix raised his claymore into an offensive position and lunged directly at Sora. The battle had begun and it barely gave Sora any time to prepare, but just as Saix was about to strike Sora tumbled over to the side. After Sora regained his stance he charged at Saix and prepared an attack, swinging his keyblade from different angles, hoping one of the attacks would hit.

Saix managed to block almost every attack, but he had underestimated Sora's speed. He moved much quicker than he had even seen Roxas move. Dodging Sora's attacks became far more of a challenge that Saix had originally expected. Though Sora had forgotten all of his magic and attacks since entering Castle Oblivion, he still was able to somehow quickly regain his strength. It still was far from enough to even come close to wearing Saix out though. This was all just a beginning test fight against Sora really. Saix wanted to give it his all, but as the battle progressed Sora was still reforming his power so he was nowhere near his full strength.

Not wanting to use up all his energy in this battle, Saix let Sora get a few more hits on him before he disappeared from Sora's sight and from the battle entirely. Though he made sure to leave the next card behind for Sora to take.

Saix didn't leave the area though, he sneakily had used a corridor of darkness to take him over to the staircase leading. He made sure that Sora and his friend did not see him at first, and they didn't seem to as Sora reached up and picked up the card that was left.

"Another one. What's it do?" Goofy asked.

Jiminy Cricket climbed up onto Sora's shoulder and looked over the card, "Hmm. Kinda looks like the card you used when you made Traverse Town."

"Then I guess we're gonna need it to keep going…" Sora said as he looked over the card again.

Saix knew that any moment now Sora and his friends would notice him standing there, not that he really cared if they did or didn't spot him. He wanted to still be there, there were still things that needed to be said. Things that would help push Sora further down into Castle Oblivion.

"Saix! He's still here!" Donald yelled as he pointed towards Saix.

The three summoned their weapons again as Saix decided to take a few steps closer. He held up his hand as he approached. "Do you really believe that I would be defeated that easily?"

Without taking his eyes off of Saix, or lighting the grip on his keyblade Sora spoke up. "So you were just testing us."

Saix nodded. "Yes you are correct, I was testing you. I wanted to see how your strength fared after losing it all since coming here. And I must congratulate you Sora, you have done well. Now you can continue to follow your memories through Castle Oblivion. In doing so you will be able to seek what you have forgotten. That will lead you to finding someone very special."

"You mean King Mickey and Riku?" Goofy asked.

"Perhaps, but you may want to think more carefully about who it may be. Think deeply on who is most important to you. The most precious memories lie deep within a person's heart, but sometimes they are far out of reach. But I know you will be able to find yours, Sora," Saix explained. He knew it was all a lie, all of this was the plan setup to get Sora to pretty much lose all of his memories, but he had to go along with it.

He had to do it… for now at least.

"Why… me?" Sora asked.

"You have lost sight of things...the light within the darkness. You have forgotten more than you realize," Saix replied, choosing his words carefully.

"The light within darkness…" Sora muttered as he stood up straight.

A thought occurred to Saix as he looked over at Sora, who still seemed to be pondering things. Sora had already forgotten a lot already, but he still was pretty much himself, but how easily could he be deceived. It was a thought that Saix decided he might as well try. He crossed his arms. "If you so choose, I can give you a hint if you so desire."

Sora stared down at the ground, seeming to be deep in thought. He stared at the ground for a bit, his eyes seemed to be clouded with doubt.

" _Is he really going to give up so easily?"_ Saix pondered.

Goofy looked over at his friend, a little worried. "Sora… do ya need it?"

Sora then looked up at Saix and glared. "I'm gonna figure it out for myself. If you're in my way…" Sora jumped back into his battle position.

Donald jumped in front of Sora. "Don't worry, Sora! We'll protect you!" Donald glared quite angrily at Saix, ready to strike at any minute.

Saix found himself to be chuckling a little. "That is good to hear. Something like that is what I would expect from you, the keyblade master. But be forewarned… You should know that when your sleeping memories reawaken, you may not be who you once were."

Before Sora or anyone else could say a word Saix disappeared back into a corridor of darkness, leaving Sora alone with his thoughts. Back at the top floor Saix had some time to himself. He took this time to think over his encounter with Sora. It wasn't fully what he had expected, but at the same time it felt like it was. Seeing Sora and getting to fight him...it was hard for Saix to put his thoughts together on it, he didn't know how to phrase all of it. But he did know it was very intriguing and he was curious to see what would happen to Sora the further he went into Castle Oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still these chapters are from 2018, but we finally got to one of my favorite parts that I wrote. The Castle Oblivion part has some good things in it, can't wait to show you all!


	6. Chapter 6

After Saix had his encounter with Sora, he kept mostly to himself. He would of course be in the room with the other members, but wouldn't say much of anything to them. He only was keeping his eyes on the crystal that was showing Sora's progress. It was one of his intentions to watch Sora, to learn about him. That was only one of the things he knew he had to do… and it was the most preferable task he had over the others. A much more pleasant and simple task that was far more interesting.

Saix found it to be most preferable when he was alone in the room for the moment. Not being bothered by the other members. He was already use to usually being on his own, so in those short moments he found a little relief. But he knew it couldn't always be that way, eventually he would have to carry out the other parts of the plan he was given.

Sora was making good progress and had just gotten through the third floor of Castle Oblivion. Saix watched the crystal carefully, paying close attention to everything. He was lost in his thoughts when a sly, female, voice snapped him out of it.

"You are rather intrigued by this Sora kid, aren't you?"

Saix looked up, away from the crystal. His eyes focused on the source of the voice; Larxene. Saix rarely ever talked to her, not only due to his quiet demeanor, but also because he truly did not like her. Out of all the members he probably despised her the most. Her attitude was cruel, sarcastic and cold. She almost was like Axel in how she treated others… but not as bad at Axel was.

Saix stared at her for a moment before answering her question. "Does that truly matter to you what I think of him?"

Larxene grinned. "Of course. You rarely show interest in anything at all. Yet here you are, simply captivated by this boy."

Saix raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying that you are more interested in how I am intrigued by Sora rather than you being intrigued by him?"

"I don't really know yet what I think of him, still hasn't shown us a whole lot. I still think what you see in him and how focused you are on him is far more entertaining."

Saix sighed as he crossed his arms. He figured Larxene would continue to hound him until she got her answers. So he just decided to give an explanation that he hoped would satisfy her. "As you know there was that time when Sora had become a Heartless. Becoming a Heartless means they are consumed by darkness and their mind and feelings are lost to it. But somehow… Sora did not lose any of that. He was able to hold onto his feelings, even as a Heartless. Only one other man has been able to accomplish something like that."

Larxene's eyes widened with interest. "Ah so that's it. It's the strength of his heart that makes you so interested, isn't it? You wonder about the strength his heart has and why the keyblade chose his heart."

Saix shrugged slightly. "Our mission is to do just that right? We are to unlock and discover the mysteries of the heart. It is nothing to truly get that excited about."

Larxene snickered before she went back to watching Sora in the crystal ball. Saix sigh once more as he could finally be left to his thoughts again. It was true that the strength of Sora's heart was very interesting… but that was not the only reason Saix found Sora fascinating to watch. There was still the fact that Sora was the Somebody of Roxas. And the differences between the two is what really drove Saix's curiosity everywhere. It was still a little hard to ever believe that Roxas really was the Nobody of Sora.

The only other thing that really kept his interest up was Namine. The mysterious girl with a special ability and connection to Sora. Saix would sometimes glance over at Namine when she was working her magic, creating the memories for Sora to ' _remember'_ and having him forget his old. It truly was something remarkable and unusual. But it somehow worked. More time had passed and Sora had exited the fifth floor. By now he had started to remember some of the memories Namine had created.

Larxene smirked again. "It's just as we intended it."

Saix slowly nodded. "The plan is moving along nicely."

"Now you had your fun on the first floor. So this time, it's my turn," Larxene said as she held out her hand.

Without batting an eye Saix pulled out the next card and tossed it over to Larxene. It did not matter to him that he couldn't face off against Sora again right now. He figured there may be another time for it later. Larxene grabbed hold of the card and gave a small kiss to it. She giggled sarcastically as he walked closer to Saix. She gently placed a hand on his face, causing him to tense up.

"You don't have to worry, I am not just going to give it to him," Larxene explained. Saix could see though the cold cruelty in her eyes as she spoke.

"Just… Don't break him," Saix muttered, turning his head to the side.

Larxene drew her hand back, smirking again. "Well… Do I detect a soft spot? A soft spot coming from you? The most boring and emotionless member?" She let out a laugh. "How funny. But, you don't need to worry. I'm not going to break the toy. I'm not dumb."

Saix ignored Larxene's comment at him, but he flinched at the way she had said ' _toy'_. Knowing that Larxene saw Sora that way didn't ease him any further. But he had to let that slide… for now.

Saix breathed in, straightening his posture. "Larxene. Don't forget that Sora is the key. We do need him if… we're going to take over the Organization."

Larxene quickly pressed a finger to his lips. "I know you're in on it too…But keep it under your hood… at least until the time is right." She then waved goodbye and left through a dark corridor.

Once she was gone, and Saix was left alone in the room, he couldn't help but smirk every so slightly. He had heard what he wanted to hear. Though he still did not like the other parts of the plan, he was glad that it seemed to be moving along well. Once this was all over, he could return to The Castle that Never Was. He could return to his daily missions… and enjoy ice cream on top of the clock tower with Roxas. It felt like so long ago since he had done that. He missed it.

Saix watched as Sora progressed through one more floor. Once he exited the sixth and was making his way up to the seventh when Larxene appeared. Watching closely, he saw as Sora remembered more of Namine. She had even used her powers to change the charm Sora had on him. She made it so Sora believed it was from her. Saix was astounded at the strength her powers held, being able to do things like that.

Though Sora had forgotten everything when he first entered Castle Oblivion, he quickly had been regaining his strength. His battle with Larxene proved that he was getting back to his original power. The battle didn't last for too long, and Sora came out as the winner. After Larxene had her battle with Sora, she quickly returned back to the room.

She let out a sigh after exiting the dark corridor, stretching her back."Whew… Throwing that battle wore me out."

Saix raised an eyebrow. The smallest temptation to mock Larxene came to mind, but he decided to keep it to himself. He just shrugged, giving no verbal comment.

Larxene lowered her eyebrows in suspicion as she stepped closer to Saix. "What? You got something to say?"

"Perhaps," Saix commented in his usual emotionless tone. He thought it wouldn't be the worst thing if he toyed with Larxene for a bit.

Larxene scrunched up her nose. "What is it? Say it!"

Saix closed his eyes and calmly replied. "It does not matter."

"What were you thinking? I know you have something you want to say," Larxene pestered on.

"If you must know… I was thinking that…" Saix paused for a moment before he continued. "It did not look like you _threw_ that fight."

Larxene glared as she gasped. "What?! You think I just lost to the boy?"

"It did look that way," Saix answered while the slightly smirk form on his face.

Larxene's glare grew more furious. "Ugh! How dare you! You think something like throwing a fight is easy? You don't seem to understand the nuances of-" She took in a breath to continue her rant, but before she did, a different voice interrupted.

"An ungainly effort."

"Huh?" Larxene questioned as she turned around to see Vexen coming out of a dark corridor. Larxene frowned as she gritted her teeth. "Vexen!"

"How could you be humbled by someone of such limited significance? You shame the Organization." Vexen stated as he walked further into the room. Larxene had only a growl as a response.

"Vexen," Saix started, ignoring Larxene's angered glares at the higher ranking member. "What brings you up here? Is there something you need?"

"I've come to lend you a hand. You obviously believe this Sora has much potential, but I remain unconvinced he is truly worth such coddling. I think an experiment would show if he really is of any value to us," Vexen replied.

Larxene crossed her arms. "Hmph. Well, here we go again. It's just an excuse so you can carry out your little experiments. That's all.

"I'm a scientist. Experiments are what I do, yes," Vexen responded.

Saix eyed Vexen. He knew him well enough that Vexen had his reasons for wanting to help. All of which probably had to do with his research of course. Vexen was not a suspicious member, but there was something about his research that could possibly be questioned.

"It does not matter what you do, you may do as you please. If testing Sora is that, then so be it. But I do see that testing Sora is an easy cover up for testing your valet." Saix stated.

Vexen scoffed. "Valet? He's the product of pure research."

"What he actually is, is a toy," Larxene replied, smirking.

Saix frowned a little at that again. It still bugged him how Larxene casually marked Sora as just some ' _toy'_. It concerned him a little...or what he remembered feeling concerned was like.

Vexen glared over at Larxene. "Hmph. You should just learn to be quiet."

Larxene turned her head away without a response back.

There was a moment of uneasy tension in the air. No one spoke for a bit. Soon Saix cleared his throat, bringing the attention of the other two members on him.

"Vexen, if you do truly wish to help, then you will need this of course," Saix held up the world card. Vexen smiled as he took hold of the card and looked it over.

Larxene scrunched up her nose. "I can believe you're just going to give it to him," she muttered.

"Vexen is a higher ranking member than both of us. If he wishes to give us something to watch, then let him do so."

To Saix, it didn't really matter what Vexen did. It only mattered if his plans could still be carried out in the long run. Saix would complete his missions eventually in time. He knew once he did so, he could finally go back. He wanted to go back. He did find it strange at first to be missing something. But he did in fact find himself to be missing the time where he could just sit around after his missions and eat ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh still so much to go through with this, but I shall keep updating the posts as I can. But things will pick up soon don't you worry :P


	7. Chapter 7

More time had passed as Saix observed Sora and everything he was going through. He watched as Sora made it through another world floor of the castle, and exited out onto the next floor. There it was that he saw Sora finally encounter the replica. The replica of none other than Sora's childhood friend Riku.

Just before the replica had gone off to face Sora… something had been done that left Saix a little uncertain. At first the replica was basically his own person, he knew he was a replica of Riku, but thought that he was clearly better. Now that was no longer the case. Vexen had Namine rewrite the replicas memoires in mind and heart to make him believe that he was the real Riku. He now thought he was the real Riku, but with Namine a part of his past and a few other things like that.

While Saix knew this was all part of testing Sora as well as Vexen's replica, it still left an off feeling for Saix. He knew that the replica was just something Vexen had created… just a replica of an already existing person. But yet, it almost seemed at first that the replica could have been his own person, despite his appearance. Saix had watched quietly as the replica was taken aback and angered by the thought of his heart being rewritten to make him think he was the real Riku. He had seemed insulted and hurt by that though, shouting to Vexen that he was being betrayed.

Saix actually found himself looking away as he heard the replica scream in fear when he realized his fate was sealed. Even without a heart he couldn't deny that he thought doing something like that was wrong. To strip a being of their own personality and memories, even if they were something that was just created, just didn't seem right. But there was still nothing he could do about it. He couldn't step out and oppose the other's plans… not yet at least. There would be time for that later.

Saix continued to watch the events play out though, even if he wasn't happy how it had lead to that. Eventually after Sora fought the replica, he made his way to the next world While Saix watched, the other members left to go to other areas of the castle, doing who knows what. The only ones in the room at the moment were Saix and Namine. Though she was off to the side, Saix could see her glancing from time to time at the sphere that let him see what Sora was up to.

Sora was once again facing off against the replica of Riku after making through another world floor. Though Sora still believed it was the real Riku and vice versa for the replica. Saix saw as Sora tried to convince the replica to listen, to try to get him to understand, but without Namine had created certain memories, he wanted nothing to do with Sora. Namine watched carefully though as she saw the replica run away angrily from Sora and Sora tried to follow.

Saix didn't want to keep the silence going on any longer. He had to try to say something at least. "Are you going to be all right Namine? I know seeing them fight probably isn't something you would want to see."

Namine glanced up and sent an angered glare towards Saix. He figured she would, after all he was one of the one keeping her prisoner and making her use her powers. Though he was not the leader of the operation he was still a part of it. He still pity her though, he knew that she had no choice in the matter. He figured while Namine did want to meet Sora, she probably didn't really want to erase all of his memories to make new ones.

Still, Saix felt like he should try to talk to her. "You don't have to look that upset. I only wished to make a conversation."

Namine sighed and looked away, indicating that she had no desire to strike up a conversation with him. But then a moment later she ended up speaking, albeit it was quiet and hardly heard. "I don't know why you would want to just 'make a conversation' with me."

"I'm sorry if I've upset you. But if you do ever wish to talk, I will listen," Saix said as he shrugged it off before he went back to focusing on watching Sora. If Namine didn't want to talk to him, that was fine. He wouldn't want to pressure into talking, so he decided to let her be. Though he wondered if there ever would be anything he could do to help her. Another thing to add to the list of what he would try and do for later.

A little bit later Larxene and Vexen returned to the room and joined Saix in watching Soar trek through yet another world floor. When Sora exited out from there, he started to look around for the Riku replica, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Larxene scowled as she watched Sora look around the floor with worry. "So what's going on, Vexen?" Your Riku was supposed to counter Sora. What's he waiting for? Where is he?"

Vexen glared angrily back at Larxene and Saix could tell the tension in the room had risen. He quickly tried to think of something to make sure nothing escalated further. "There is most likely a logical explanation for this, Larxene. Sora is nearly at the top of the castle, so it is very probable the replica is waiting for a more opportune moment. The further Sora heads up in the castle, the better, right?"

Larxene let out a laugh. "A-ha! Is that right? Hmm I never would have guessed that." Larxene turned to look at Vexen, a cold smirk across her face. "So sorry Vexen." The taunting tone in her voice showed that she had nothing she was sorry for.

"Silence!" Vexen grumbled as he gritted his teeth.

Larxene rolled her eyes. "Predictable response. Forget it. Men without hearts are so boring."

"You're one to talk. As if you have such a heart to speak of yourself," Vexen replied in an accusing tone.

Saix tried to think of what else he could say, but these two were nearly impossible to deal with. Complete opposites that would never be able to get along with one another. He thought of a few other things he could say to try to lower the tension, but he knew one of them would just turn it on the other to make things worse. Thankfully a dark portal appeared in the room and a voice spoke.

"That's enough," the familiar voice of Marluxia said as he stepped out from the portal.

All three members turned to look at him as he walked towards the group. He took off his hood as he looked over at Vexen. "Vexen, the simple fact is that your project was a failure. You'd best

not disappoint us again."

Vexen glowed with more anger than he did before. For a moment it really did look like he could have been ticked off, but it was all just a facade. All just being faked as he remembered those emotions. "Disappoint you? You go too far! In this Organization, you're No. 11! I'm No. 4 and I will not have you-"

Before Vexen could go further, Marluxia summoned his scythe and pointed it directly at him. Vexen let out a short gasp as he stared back at Marluxia. "I've been entrusted with this castle and Namine by our leader. Defying me will be seen as treason against the Organization."

Saix listened carefully as Marluxia spoke. It almost wanted to find it amusing that Marluxia was talking about treason to the Organization. After all, Saix was the one who was supposed to keep an eye on the traitors and eliminate them when the time was right. The irony of the situation could have brought a laugh to Saix, but remained serious and composed. Though that did not stop him from at least adding to the conversation.

"The rules of the Organization state that if anyone betrays us, then they are deemed a traitor and will be eliminated," Saix replied as he looked to Vexen. "So unless you would want to put everything of yours at stake, it would be best to stay in line."

Vexen grumbled as he glared over to Saix, he looked at first as if he was going to say more, but no words came from his mouth. Larxene on the other hand still seemed like she wanted to cause more trouble and tension.

"Who needs a half-baked good-for-nothing, anyway?" she replied with another smirk.

Vexen now glanced over to her and narrowed his eyes. He gripped his fists as he would not look away from her.

"Larxene," Saix interjected, trying once again to keep things in order. "You do not need to try to make matters worse. No good will come from you throwing insults around."

Larxene rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "And what authority do you have to tell me what to do?"

Saix crossed his arms. "I only wish to keep some level of peace here between everyone."

Again Larxene rolled her eyes. "Peace? Ha! How funny. Like you could really do something like that."

"Never any harm in trying," Said replied.

Marluxia, on the other hand, did not seem interested in their conversation. Instead he was not done talking with Vexen from moments before.

"Vexen, you cannot win against Sora."

"Pity to be so ignorant. As you're only able to see the surface of things, I should not expect you to appreciate my true might," Vexen replied.

"Oh?" Marluxia asked as he dismissed his scythe. "Then let us watch as you prove it."

Vexen blinked in confusion. "What?"

"None of us wish to be suspicious of a comrade," Marluxia explained, while keeping a serious expression.

"Your insincerity is comforting," Vexen grumbled before disappearing from the room.

Saix had watched the scene play out in front of him, and he could feel the tension was still high, but now it seemed to be between Marluxia and Vexen. He knew that things were starting to get a bit tense now, which meant that sooner or later he would have to act. He would have to go ahead with what he was instructed to do within due time.

"I would be cautious of what you say to Vexen. You know very well that he will use anything he can get to his advantage."

"And what do you mean by that?" Marluxia asked, sounding as if he didn't know what Saix meant.

"Vexen will surely take this as a challenge, and with that he could very end up eliminating Sora."

Marluxia hummed thoughtfully. "You are correct about that, and it would be a rather unfortunate denouement." Marluxia then walked over towards Namine, who had remained quiet this entire time. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to tense up.

"What to do? Your hero is soon to be wiped from existence. But I believe there is a certain promise that he made you. Isn't that right, Namine?" Marluxia asked coldly.

Namine's fingers slowly tightened around her sketchpad. She let out a long breath before she answered quietly. "Yes…"

Saix once again felt pity for her. She was once again being forced to write in fake memories for Sora to now 'remember'. From the expression Namine made, Saix could tell that she was conflicted over what she had to do. While she did want to meet Sora, she was still not exactly too happy about what she was doing. Saix could understand why she would feel like that. The only way she could meet Sora is to make him think he already knew her, but in the end to her it was still fake memories.

Saix could see how much Namine wished that she wasn't there. The more he watched her work her memories magic, the more he wished he could do something to help her. Maybe it was just memories of feelings from his past, but he felt like he had to do something to help her. A memory of wanting to do something, to try and be a friend. They lingered in his head as he analyzed the situation. There had to be something he could do. He knew eventually he could do something… but it was still the 'what' of it and then 'when' that he would do it. But he knew that he would do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress within Saix's mind and his many thoughts. I don't know why but I like to think he is very thoughtful over everything when left alone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Jus a quick note.   
> Just updated the tags for minor violence and stuff as you see. Nothing super detailed, but ya know... for reasons heh.

Once Sora made it through another floor, Saix was finally given his chance. An opportunity had risen for Saix to take charge in the more secretive plans that he had been given. He thought of himself as a double agent. He truly had two sides of secret missions, but one was far more drastic than the other.

His mission from Xemnas was to see that the traitor members, who were Marluxia and Larxene, were eliminated. But that was from Xemnas. His other mission was far more than that. A mission planned with and given to him by none other than Axel. It was a part of their mission they had always had since the start of all of this.

It wasn't something Saix truly wanted to do, but he had to take the chance when he could. He couldn't let a moment like this slip out from his fingers. And as far as he knew, Marluxia did not suspect his other motives.

It was almost ironic to Saix. That he was working with the traitors only to work against them to see that they are eliminated. But those two would come at a later time. Right now he had to focus on the task he was given.

Eliminate Vexen.

It seemed that Vexen had his own series of motives. Saix began to wonder just how many ulterior motives each member must have had. He knew that he had his own, as well as Axel's for the most part. But either way he couldn't let those thoughts drown out his current task.

Saix did not enter the area right away. He did not want to alert Vexen of his presence. Though it seemed that Vexen was occupied talking with Sora that he would not notice. Still Saix stayed out of sight and waited for the right moment to strike.

As Saix waited, he thought over his task once more. Eliminate Vexen. The sound of it was still sour to his mind. He had destroyed countless Heartless before, but never another person… or Nobody. Even if they were shells of their former selves, it still was a person he would be attacking. Unlike the Heartless, a person could shout and say things.

Saix shook his head. "I need to get it out of my head. It's what I am supposed to do. It shouldn't matter what happens afterwards to him… Nobodies are doomed to fade to nothingness anyways. I have no heart to feel guilt… getting rid of Vexen shouldn't affect me or leave me with anything to think about."

Saix went back to watching Vexen confront Sora. This time he made an effort to listen in to what was being said. Just as a way to see how far Vexen was going with this.

"You are not a Keyblade master… just a slave to twisted memories. Yes... Exactly like my

Riku." Vexen spoke tauntly before he summoned up his shield. "Your existence is worth nothing!"

"Like your Riku? Worth nothing?" Sora asked, clearly not understanding the true meaning behind Vexen's words.

Suddenly he scowled with anger. "That's enough! You're the one who changed Riku! Every word you've said is a lie! I'd never throw away my heart!" He summoned the keyblade and took a fighting stance. "I'm gonna take you down and save Riku and Namine. That's what's in my heart!"

Saix took a few steps back from his hiding spot. He saw now that he would have to wait a bit longer before acting. But he saw it as a helpful way. Sora was angered and had begun to fight Vexen. If Sora pulled through, which Saix had no doubt about, then Vexen would be left weaker. Making what he had to do much easier.

Eventually the fight came to a near end. Vexen nearly collapsed to the ground, panting and groaning in pain. It was clear that Sora still had much more strength than Vexen had expected. Saix readily himself as he prepared to reveal himself to the others.

He was not one to be the center of attention. The spotlight was more for someone like Axel than him. He really did not want to barge into the scene and begin his attack. He thought it would be better to be quiet and subtle. That was more of his suit.

Sneaking back into a portal he moved around in the shadows to get to a more proper position. With Vexen distracted still talking with Sora, Saix prepared himself for what was about to happen next.

He decided to wait one more minute until he felt the moment was right. He tuned in again to hear Vexen, who was now standing back up, yelling at Sora, actually warning him about Marluxia. A slight surprise to Saix, but nothing he took to seriously. He knew already that Vexen did not like Marluxia, so to keep going against him was already expected.

"If you continue to seek the girl, Namine, the shackles will tighten, you'll lose your heart...and end up becoming Marluxia's pawn!"

Rather than stay angry at Vexen, like he was moments before, Sora actually seemed curious what Vexen was saying. "Marluxia? What does Namine have to do with-"

Saix didn't wait a second longer. He moved from his spot and appeared out from behind Vexen. With not a moment of hesitation he summoned his claymore and lodged it right through Vexen's side. Vexen let out a cry of pain, something that Saix was expecting to hear anyways.

Sora on the other hand gasped. "Saix?!"

With the claymore still lodged in Vexen's side, Saix paid little attention to Sora. He knew that Sora would have to watch what he was about to do. But he couldn't let Sora distract him either. He had to complete his task first. Then if he had time to spare, he would see what Sora had to say.

Saix pulled back the claymore and Vexen dropped to the ground. Vexen gasped heavily and coughed. Small blotches of blood fell onto the ground as he tried to regain a steady breath. But Saxi knew the intianl damage to Vexen had already been done.

Slowly Vexen turned his head back to see Saix standing above him. "S-Saix, why…?"

Vexen coughed again and placed a hand to his side. Saix was ready to see if Vexen would heal the wound that he had inflicted, but he only placed his hand against it. It seemed that Vexen must have used up his current magic supply in the fight against Sora.

"It is none of your concern why I do this. Though… you should know exactly why I am here," Saix replied in a cold voice.

Saix readily to strike again. Just as his weapon was about to make contact, Vexen managed to summon his shield again.

Saix scowled. "That shield is the only problem here. As long as he keeps it up I cannot perform a front attack. Though… in his weakened state it shouldn't be too hard to knock it from him. There won't be any need for me to increase my power with my berserker mode with the state that he is in."

Instead of trying another attack from the front, Saix maneuvered to the side and struck before Vexen had the chance to move his shield. Vexen tumbled across the ground, letting go of his shield almost immediately.

Vexen raised his head and stared at Saix. His eyes were wide and looking fearful. It was all fake. As a Nobody he could not truly show fear of death, only mimic it based on memories. But it was still rather convincing.

"P-Please… Saix, don't…"

Vexen's breaths were raspy and weak. The loss of blood was showing clearly as Vexen had paled and his hands trembled. Saix still pushed away the act that Vexen was putting on. As good as it was, he couldn't let Vexen go. He had to complete what he started.

"I am sorry Vexen, but this is what must happen. There isn't anything that can stop what is inevitable."

Saix walked over until he stood over Vexen again. It was clear that the man was too weak to stand now, as he stayed laying on the ground. Saix didn't even wait to hear if Vexen had another response. He struck again with his claymore, this time nearly dead center of Vexen's chest.

Vexen choked and spat up more blood. "N-No… don't do… this. I… I don't want…"

Saix didn't let him finish. If he had, perhaps some deep member of guilt would have slipped into his mind. But that never happened. Instead he plunged the claymore once more and Vexen let out a final gasp.

Then he was still.

It only took a second before his body started to flicker away and faded away into darkness.

Saix lowered his head and closed his eyes. The deed had been done. He was one step further on his secret mission. That was what mattered. Not that he had just killed another, but that the task was done. THat was what he kept telling himself anyways, trying to steer clear of those memories of guilt.

But before Saix could move on and leave, Sora's angered voice distracted him.

"How… How could you do that?! You just killed him! What are you people?!"

Saix turned to face the boy, he had almost forgotten Sora was there. "He probably thinks I am a monster. No matter… that also is something inevitable to come from all of this. I would think just the same if I were in his shoes."

Saix stared at Sora, seeing his shocked and horrified expression. Saix shrugged it off and shook his head. "What I am doesn't matter. It never has been a concern of mine to think about."

"But why did you-"

Saix didn't stick around for the rest of Sora's question.

When he got back to the room where Marluxia and Larxene were, Larxene was the one to congratulate him on getting rid of Vexen. Despite doing what he was asking, being praised for it wasn't what he wanted to hear. As hard as he was trying, he kept thinking back to it. He had done it so quickly without hesitation. It was something that wouldn't be leaving his mind anytime soon.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," Larxene grumbled. "Are you just going to stand there? You got anything to say?"

"Nothing that comes to mind. Other than to note Sora's strength has grown since the start of all of this," Saix replied.

"We knew that already," Larxene replied. "But I guess you could say it was a test of your own strength. We didn't know if you had it in you to do what you just did. Who would have thought the quiet moon boy could be so violent. Marluxia was so sure you wouldn't be able to do it. But looks like I was right."

Marluxia made no comment. He only stayed silent in the corner of the room, watching Larxene talk.

Larxene walked closer to Saix and had a cruel smile across her face. "But with that surprise strength, you really proved yourself. And now you get to join up with us. Taking over the

Organization will be like child's play with the three of us."

This was what Saix had been waiting for. He knew that Xemnas had already suspected the two in the room to possibly be traitors, but there was never any clear evidence. He had been sticking around, doing what they wanted, in order to get the information he needed. He had the confirmed words now. All he had to do was wait a bit longer, and find the right moments to confront them.

What he had to do now was still play the part they were expecting him to play. "And what is why you need Sora, correct?"

Larxene nodded. "That's right. He wants to see Namine, so why don't we just give him what

he wants?"

Saix didn't answer back but watched as Marluxia made his way over to Namine. He spoke to her, praising her for what was happening. Soon she would get to meet Sora. Though the look on her face showed she wasn't too thrilled. She looked worried and upset and Saix knew why. She did truly want to see Sora, but she had manipulated his memories in order to do so. To her it would never truly be fair once she would get to meet him. Saix could see that was how she felt about it. And Marluxia and Larxene's taunting and controlling of her didn't help lighten her mood one bit.

Marluxia and Larxene soon took leave from the room, most likely to attend to business elsewhere. And that left another perfect moment for Saix. He knew that the two of them still needed to use Namine to control Sora. They wanted to keep her within their grasp and do as they wanted. But Namine still had her own choices and thoughts on the matter, and Saix saw how upset she seemed to be over it.

"Sora… Even if you come for me… what then?" Namine whispered as she clutched her sketchbook.

Saix approached where she sat. He was going to use this moment as best as he could. Not only because he needed a way to try and disrupt Marluxias's plans, but also as a way to help Namine. He only hoped he would be able to persuade her to listen.

"Namine, don't tell me that you are giving up. You know you have the power to stop this."

Namine turned to look at her. Her sad, lonely eyes meeting his own lonely eyes. He had an understanding about that. He always had been the quiet type with few friends. He knew what it was like to be alone. He wasn't one to tell others about it, but he could give as much as he could to let the other know he understood.

"But… I can't… I mean it's too late…"

"I wouldn't say that. There is always a small chance even when it seems there isn't. And right now you have that chance."

Namine tilted her head to the side. "I don't understand… what do you mean?"

"This is your chance to leave and set things the way you want. Marluxia has left me in charge, and therefore he is currently nowhere near this room. So go, before he returns."

Namine stared at him, trying to see why he could be doing this. But she didn't wait very long. She nodded her head in thanks and ran out of the room as quickly as she could. Saix watched her leave, hoping that something good would come from this. Something good… that would really just be benefiting him and the tasks he was given.

"Let's see what you do Namine. Let's hope you can do some good here. In all honestly… I would prefer not to have to repeat what I did before. Unless absolutely necessary."


	9. Chapter 9

Saix waited as he watched the events unfold. He made sure that Namine could escape and confront Sora by the next floor. He knew exactly what she wanted to do and it only helped him in his own tasks. By letting her go, she was going to go and try and set things right between her and Sora. And that was exactly what was happening.

Namine expressed to Sora how sorry she was for what she had done. Sora did not understand at first, but soon he started to grasp it. From that single moment, everything started to fall apart for the plans.

It was only a matter of time now before Larxene and Marluxia noticed. And in fact, just as these thoughts crossed his mind, Larxene came back into the room.

He pretended not to notice her and kept his eyes locked on the sphere to watch what was going on with Sora.

"What!?" Larxene exclaimed. "Where did the little brat go?"

"I don't know what you mean. Which brat are you referring to?" Saix asked in a calm manner.

"You know exactly who I mean! She was here before and now she's not! You were supposed to keep an eye on her?"

"Was I?" Saix asked, trying to sound surprised by her statement. "I had no idea that I was entrusted with that task."

"You knew that we had to keep her here!"

"Maybe you should have been more clear with what you wanted me to do," Saix replied, the slightest smirk forming across his face.

"Why you! Argh!" Larxene shouted in frustration.

She stormed over to Saix and shoved him aside, getting a good look at what was being shown. Saix could see the anger in her eyes glowing. It was another impressive feat Saix noted. Her anger was clearly all just an act, but she did it so well.

"I can't believe this! Ugh… I'm going to go and have to fix this myself. You are so going to have to pay for this!"

Saix shrugged nonchalantly. "If that's what you say."

"Ugh! You're a real jerk, you know that? You just ruined everything!

Larxene's anger kept with her as she left the room in a huff. Saix felt relieved that she decided to deal with Namine and Sora first, rather than him. He was still hoping to keep from taking out too many members. If everything went as he thought, Sora could possibly end up doing the job for him. He moved back in position to watch on the sphere and watched the scene for Larxene to arrive.

But first he would have to move locations, he knew that Larxene would first go tell Marluxia, and he would come back. With that in mind, he disappeared from the room and moved to a different location to watch the event take place.

He watched everything go down. Larxene fought Sora, apparent anger and annoyance in her eyes. But it was all for naught. She went down easily. And then the time came when her strength failed her and she no longer could keep going.

Once Larxene was defeated, Saix figured it was time to confront the other traitor; Marluxia. Mainly because he wasn't entirely sure that Sora would be able to take Marluxia on. While Sora had defeated Larxene, and took on Vexen and wore him down, Marluxia was different. Marluxia had just a little more strength than the two of them. He had seen the status reports on everyone once before and saw that Marluxia's strength and magic was far better than Larxene and Vexen's.

But he knew he couldn't assume that Sora wouldn't be able to do it at all. If he had the right motivation he seemed to be able to take on anything. It was admirable, and Saix thought back to Roxas. On various missions Roxas showed that he had strengths and wouldn't give up. It made sense; after all, Roxas was Sora's Nobody.

Saix found himself slumping his shoulders. He hadn't thought of Roxas for quite a while now. So much had happened recently that thinking of the easier days slipped his mind.

"I wonder what Roxas is up to, aside from missions. It will be nice to get away from all of this once I am finished here… but that still will take some time. Might as well get a move on with it. I shouldn't stall for much longer."

Saix entered a portal and headed off to where Marluxia was. He found the man in a large room on the thirteenth floor. When Saix made his presence known, Marluxia turned and scowled heavily. It was clear that Larxene had told him of what happened. And now he must have known what happened to her.

"You. You really think you can just show up here casually? To show your treasonous face around here… the nerve of it."

Saix kept his face still and calm. He had no reason to be annoyed by Marluxia's accusations. He was right after all. In Marluxia's eyes he was a traitor to him and went right under him to get Namine free from his gasp.

"And now you are just going to stay quiet? You have nothing to say at all for what you've done?" Marluxia asked as he crossed his arms.

"What reason do I have to speak for? You already seem to know what I've done. I see no reason to try and deny that fact. It would lead nowhere."

"If you admit to it, then explain it. Why did you let Namine go? If you had not released her then we could have turned the keyblade master to come and serve us."

Saix breathed in. If there was a time for confrontation, now was the time. "I do not think destroying the mind of a child to serve our needs is what the Organization is looking for. I think that is more something you want, correct? You want Sora to come to your side and serve your needs. By using Namine, you have her make Sora into a puppet. Then with the power of a keyblade master on your side, you take on the Organization, and take it for yourself."

Saix paused as he watched Marluxia. The pink-haired man's eyes narrowed, the scowl still deeply embedded in his face. He had hit the nail right on the head.

"I should have known…" Marluxia muttered. "You always have been far too quiet and suspicious all on your own. Trusting you should have been out of the question."

"I suppose that could be true. But yet, you trusted me anyways. You believe I was with you to overthrow the Organization. Yet you know where my loyalty is and whom I trust. This was all a part of what I was tasked to do."

"So it was all a ruse from you? Then I figured eliminating Vexen was a part of that as well?" Marluxia asked.

Saix shook his head. Though secretly there was a secondary reason to take out Vexen, there was no reason to let Marluxia know that. All he needed to do was finish this and quickly.

"It was not my choice, but you gave me the order to do it. But now… that doesn't matter." Saix summoned his claymore. "With what you have done, you have committed treason against the Organization. Therefore it is my task to do as I am told… eliminate the traitor."

It wasn't that Saix wanted to be dramatic with it, but he wanted to put as much emphasis as he could. After all it was all ironic to Marluxia now. He wanted those who were betraying him to be destroyed, and now the same was about to happen to him. If Saix still had a heart he would have maybe even laughed a little at the situation.

Saix lunged and brought his claymore down onto Marluxia. Before the weapon could hit, Marluxia moved out of the way. It seemed that Marluxia also had the upper hand in speed between the two of them.

Saix jumped in again swinging his claymore forward. This time Marluxia did not move from his spot, but instead summoned his scythe to block the attack.

"So this is how it shall be," Marluxia commented as he kept a firm grip on his scythe, keeping Saix back. "Let's see how good The Luna Diviner really is!"

"Then I shall say the same to you… The Graceful Assassin," Saix replied, spitting out the title harshly.

The two jumped back from their hold and prepared again. Saix picked up speed, moving forward, almost gliding across the ground. He gripped his claymore with one hand and put as much strength as he could into the next attack. Marluxia blocked it again, but Saix was quick to return another attack. Each time Marluxia either blocked it, or maneuvered quickly out of the way.

Saix gritted his teeth as he jumped back, away from Marluxia. "Currently Marluxia holds the upper hand. He is far faster than me and his weapon is lighter, making for those quick moves. If I have to… I may need to access my berserker mode. It may be the only way to give me enough strength to defeat him. But… we shall see first. I may be able to do this without having to resort to… that."

When Saix went to attack again, Marluxia waved his hand and smiled. Saix came to a halt before he got to close. In front of Marluxia, Namine had appeared, looking more terrified than ever.

Saix stood up straight, narrowing his eyes. "You're a coward Marluxia."

"Oh?" Marluxia asked in a sly voice. "You won't attack? Doesn't that make you the coward?"

"Attacking an innocent child just to get to you is not what I go by."

"Well that's good to hear, but you know this… child… is far from innocent. After all she is done, she isn't anywhere close to that."

Marluxia smiled again as he held Namine by the shoulder. She made no attempt to move or run away. Saix breathed out heavily. This made things more difficult. He did not want to harm Namine. He wanted to find a way to keep her safe as possible. But Marluxia was now playing dirty, and there was no way that he would let her go. And on top of that, Namine was far too scared to make a move of her own.

"That is still not what I wish to do. I will not harm her just to get to you."

Marluxia sighed. "So disappointing. After the way you handled Vexen I thought you would have no problem doing it again. The way you showed no remorse… was just chilling."

Saix's fingers tightened around his weapon. He knew exactly what Marluxia was trying to do. He was trying to rile him up. If pushed hard enough, the anger could possibly take over Saix and force him into his berserker mode. And if that happened, he would have no control over his actions.

"I will not do it. You're playing dirty Marluxia, and that isn't how I prefer to play."

Marluxia shook his head. "That is too bad. I was hoping for a challenge from you. And I was hoping Sora could entertain you for the time being with the right motive."

"Right motive… What is he…" Saix started to think, but he stopped.

Upon turning around he saw Sora, along with his two friends; Donald and Goofy. They stood several feet behind Saix and he could see Sora's face was mixed with anger and confusion. The scene he saw before him was leaving him with thoughts that he had not given any concern to. And then it made sense to Saix.

"I see now… Marluxia hoped I would try and attack him while he held Namine. It would give Sora enough anger to not go after him, but me instead. Another low and dirty move… If he wasn't holding Namine hostage I would strike him down deeply for that."

Not letting himself get annoyed, he turned around fully and faced Sora straight on. "Sora, I didn't expect you to arrive here this soon."

"Move out of the way," Sora replied as he stepped forward.

Saix saw the look in his eyes. Sora wasn't even focusing on Saix, he only has his eyes locked on Marluxia. It was clear that Sora still wanted to protect Namine, even though she had created fake memories. Sora was truly someone unique in that fashion, to so easily forgive someone.

"I wonder… if he is willing to forgive her… would he consider that for me? I assume not. I figure his forgiveness to her may also be affected by the fake memories he still has in his mind," Saix thought to himself as he saw Sora approach Marluxia, keyblade in hand.

"Come now Sora, why go after me? You saw how cold and ruthless Saix was to Vexen. How he murdered him in cold blood. And Vexen never did anything wrong. Wouldn't you rather go take care of Saix first?" Marluxia asked, a deep toying tone buried in overall annoyance.

"No, he said he wasn't going to attack Namine. And right now, keeping Namine safe is all that matters. So let Namine go."

"Hmph. Very well Sora, if you want to save Namine, might as well come and find us," Marluxia replied before he disappeared into a corridor of darkness, taking Namine with him.

"Hey wait!" Sora shouted, but it was too late, they were already gone.

Sora turned around and stared at Saix once he realized that he was still there. "Where did they go?!"

"I would assume another room on this floor. Just take a look around and you'll find them," Saix replied.

"You're not going to stop us from going after him?" Donald asked, tapping his foot while he looked at Saix with full suspicion.

"Aren't you all a part of the same group?" Goofy added in.

"Yes we are, but Marluxia is a traitor to us. I was tasked with finding a way to get rid of him because of what he has done," Saix answered.

"And what about that Vexen guy?" Sora asked.

Saix let out a sigh. He knew he could just leave the room, but he actually wanted to have a chat with Sora. A chat where he was not acting to get Sora to move along. That whole charade was over. Now he could be normal and see where it would lead. But he was left with a hard question to answer.

"That's… far more complicated. I had my reasons for doing so, but it would not be worth it to explain it all. You don't have time for that anyways. Go," Saix instructed. "Find Namine and defeat Marluxia."

"But… why are you doing this?" Sora asked. He had a questioning tone in his voice, showing how confused he was by Saix. "Why are you being all calm and nice to me now?"

"Because I can do as I choose. I have my reasons why."

Sora pouted slightly. He was a bit upset he couldn't get more of an exclamation out from the man. But it seemed that it was in Saix's personality to be quiet and vague half the time, and the other dangerous and serious. Sora wasn't fully sure he could even trust Saix. But he was thankful that he had chosen not to attack Namine.

"Thank you… you know… for not going to hurt Namine," Sora replied quickly.

Saix nodded in understanding. He then summoned a dark corridor and was ready to step through it. Just before he did, Sora spoke up again.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"That is not something that concerns you. I have other business to take care of, and that is all. And also...when you save Namine, tell her I'm sorry I couldn't help her sooner."

With that Saix left through the portal, again not waiting to see what Sora would say in response. He didn't know if Sora would do as he asked or not. But he wanted to try and hope that Sora would eventually tell her.

As much as he wanted to have a full conversation with Sora, it was not the proper time at all. Sora still had to defeat Marluxia… or at least try. If Sora were to fail… Saix would have to try again. But he had a feeling Sora would be able to do so. Sora had journeyed this far and survived, he could keep going.

But now there were other things Saix and to take care of. While Sora would be taking care of Marluxia… that still left one other Organization member besides himself. And he knew it would be tricky to try and find a way to dispose of Zexion. The Cloaked Schemer would be tricky, but thankfully they weren't the only ones still left in the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, so close to one of my favorite chapters! Next time though, so see you all then.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time now for one of my favorite chapters that really kicks thing off.

The first thing Saix had to do before anything else, was to analyze the situation. He needed a clear mind and head to understand what his next move would be. He began by taking note of how the basement team had not done so well either. Riku had shown up sometime after Sora, but in the basement of the castle. From there the basement team had dealt with him, which of course lead to Vexen getting the data he needed for the Riku Replica,

But after that there was still the real Riku to deal with. And his use of darkness was more surprising than what they had apparently expected. From what Saix could tell, Lexaeus had been defeated by Riku. Saix wondered how much darkness was influencing the boy at that time to be able to take down a man such as Lexaeus.

"Perhaps I should pay a visit to Zexion first."

Saix headed down to the lowest part of the castle, where the basement teams room was. He appeared through a dark corridor and saw Zexion standing in the corner of the room. As soon as Saix came close, Zexion stared long and hard at him.

"What are you doing here, Saix?"

"Does it matter at this point?" Saix asked.

"Half of the members who came here have been defeated. Lexaeus defeated by Riku, Larxene by Sora, and…" Zexion stopped as he came closer to Saix. "Vexen by you."

Saix breathed in, keeping his calm composure. He had no doubt that Zexion would have some hostility. Zexion was always close to Vexen in the Organization. Zexion's want for knowledge and science undeniably was influenced by Vexen himself. While Saix never paid attention to the others too much, he could only assume that they were like father and son. And now Saix had gone and killed Zexion's father figure.

"I regret what I had to do, but it was under orders of Marluxia to do so. And I only did it so I could acquire the exact information needed to prove that Larxene and Marluxia were trying to overthrow the Organization."

"Regret? Ha," Zexion scoffed. "Funny that you claim you could do that without a heart."

"Believe what you will, but it is what it is."

"And so you also knew that Marluxia and Larxene were traitors," Zexion said, more as a statement rather than a question.

Saix nodded. "I suppose then you also figured it out, and were planning to do something about that?"

"Indeed. With Riku still in the castle I thought he could be beneficial to that, but if Sora's already going against Marluxia then I see there is no point."

"Speaking of Riku, I must ask. Was he really proving to be difficult?"

Zexion shifted to the side, and his eyes averted to the ground. It was clear that the subject was difficult for him to talk about. Aside from Vexen, Lexaeus was the only other one Zexion ever seemed to be close with.

While Saix didn't know too much about everyone's lives before the Organization, he did recall that Zexion was usually around one of those two. If Vexen was like a father to Zexion, then Lexaeus was a big brother. But now he was the last one of that small group that still was alive.

Suddenly Zexoin's gaze was back on Saix. "While the original plan for Riku is out the door, there is still something that can be done. But I unfortunately I need to ask you for something."

"And that would be?" Saix asked.

Zexion slowly crossed his arms as he kept a serious gazes towards Saix. "With the time you spent with the others, and working around Sora. One of you must have created a card with the data of his home, right?"

"And if I did?"

"I would like to use it. If you have that data, please give it to me."

"And what for? Is it to make a ploy towards the boy and avenge Lexaeus?"

Zexion frowned. "What should it matter what I do? You know I don't work in such a manner. On top of that, I think you should be more thankful that I am going after Riku first! I would like to deal with you after what you did to Vexen. I want to make sure you pay for what you did. It was far too out of line and I will not stand for it. But…" Zexoin's frown formed into a smirk. "I think I'll hold off on that for now."

"Hmph. Do whatever then. I personally don't care," Saxi replied as he pulled out the card that held the data for Destiny Islands.

Zexion snatched it from Saix's hand, his smirk still blatantly across his face. "Thank you."

Zexion vanished after that, leaving Saix to stand alone in the darkly lit basement room. Zexion's vague threat still lingered in Saix's mind, but it did not leave the impact that Zexion had hoped. It was such a weak open ended threat that Saix sought nothing of it.

"Even if he does try to pull something on me, it will be too late for him. But I'll let him have some time to do what he pleases. It gives me time to handle the other thing I've been waiting to do."

Saix left the room and began walking down one of the various halls of the castle. At some point he sensed that Marluxia's presence was no more. Sora had achieved what he had set out to do, which left one less thing for Saix to take care of.

Now as Saix continued to walk, he noticed someone at the end of the hallway. A familiar figure wearing an outfit of darkness was slowly walking ahead. It was the replica of Riku. Saix still had his thoughts and opinions on the boy, and with nothing to do but wait, he wanted to take the time that he could. It was better late than never

Saix picked up his pace and got within talking range. He cleared his throat instead of trying to say something. He didn't even know what he would start off with, but he had hope that he could figure out something along the way.

The replica turned around and faced Saix, a saddened expression over his face. He didn't speak, only kept still and stared at Saix.

Saix knew that the replica once again had the knowledge that he was a fake. But unlike before, where he knew it and sought it as a way to be better than the real Riku, he was now devastated. It was clear the reason was due to the fact he now had memories of a childhood with Namine. But now he learned they were all fabricated. Everything he thought he knew was a lie.

Saix frowned slightly as he thought back to when Namine was forced to first write the fake memories. He still could recall the fearful 'no' that the replica had shouted. It still left an impact in Saix's mind. Another person that he wished he could have helped sooner. But maybe, just like with Namine, it wasn't too late.

"What do you want?" the replica finally asked, seeing that Saix had not spoken yet.

Instead of trying to find a reasonable answer to give, Saix instead sought to ask the replica something. "Why are you all the way out here? Last I saw, you were with Namine and Sora."

The replica's shoulders shifted, indicating the subject was sensitive to him. "I wasn't needed there anymore. They didn't need a fake like me dragging them down."

From the saddened tone, Saix could see the replica was still hurt from the knowledge that he was a fake. It was such a stark contrast to how he was before, both when he knew he was a replica and then when he had the fake memories and thought he was Riku.

"So that's it then? You're just going to leave? Nothing more you want to do?" Saix asked.

"Sora defeated Marluxia. And Namine probably doesn't want me around anyways. We never even knew each other and she knows that. So I don't see why I should stick around when I was never there for her to begin with."

"I see. Then does that mean that you are going off on your own?"

"I don't know!" the replica yelled. He let out a huff of air as he crossed his arms. "I have nowhere to go. I'm not wanted and I am just a fake."

"There's always something that you can do. You just need to discover what it may be."

The replica scowled. "I don't need any advice from you."

He turned to leave, but Saix chose to speak up quickly. "I'm sorry."

The replica stopped in his tracks. He didn't turn around completely, but he did look over his shoulder. "What?"

"When Marluxia and the others force Namine into writing up your… memories… I only stood there and watched. I want to let you know that I wish I could have done something at the time, but it was at a time where I could not step out of line."

"You what?!" the replica shouted. "You stood there and did nothing?!"

"Yes sadly. It was not my place to speak out then, I wished I could have done something but-"

Saix stopped abruptly as he saw the replica charging at him. Summoning his claymore, he blocked the oncoming sword that ended up a little too close to his face to be comfortable. The replica was glaring at him angrily, gritting his teeth and holding his weapon tightly.

"You should have done something!"

The replica jumped back before trying to attack again. Saix had the upper hand this time. He was stronger and more powerful than the replica was. But he didn't want to have to use that strength to stop the replica. He only had hoped to talk with him and help. A new, more difficult task was currently at hand.

"You should have stopped them!" the replica shouted as he proceeded to give an onslaught of multiple quick attacks.

Saix dodged as quickly as he could, trying to keep his eyes on the replica to see where he would strike next. "I already said I wish I could have. But if we take this into perspective, I believe that you are better off having some form of memories than nothing at all."

"But they are all FAKE! I thought I was Riku. I thought Namine was my childhood friend, but it's not real! None of it is!"

The replica formed darkness in his hand and struck it out towards Saix. A simple darkness attack. It wasn't something unexpected and Saix took note of that as he used his claymore to defend himself from the attack.

When he lowered his guard he analyzed the replica once more. There was still a clear sign of hurt, and it was more prominent than before. Saix saw that he would have to be more careful of his words. One simple thing could open a new fresh wound in the replica's mind. He was struggling and comparing who he was before was not going to help.

"There has to be some way… how can I convince him to listen?"

While Saix tried to think of what he would say, he continued to defensively fight the replica. He had no intent to try and hurt the boy, so he refused to use any offensive attacks. But that proved to make things difficult. With not wanting to attack, the replica kept giving it all he had. More and more attacks. He moved faster and tried to actually land a hit, whether it was by his weapon or a magic attack. But Saix still showed he was the stronger of the two, and that only bothered him more.

The attacks began more spastic. More repetition in how he attacks and where. And yet he still was blocked or missed Saix each time. Now the replica could truly feel the annoyance in him. He huffed heavily as he charged at Saix, performing a combo of moves. All of them failed to hit Saix anywhere on his body.

The replica yelled in frustration. "AH! Why don't you do anything! You're really ticking me off now!"

Saix chose to stay quiet as the replica came to attack once more. He started to see a way to get through this. He had tried to talk things out sensibly with the replica, but it only backfired and led to him growing angry. And the angrier he got… the less strategic his moves got. He started to become sloppy when trying to attack faster. And that used more energy without him realizing it.

Saix could see that the replica was starting to lose strength in his fight. He had pushed too much into the beginning of the fight and now he wasn't able to keep a steady pace. Even with Saix only blocking the attacks, it still was wearing the replica out to keep trying.

Eventually the replica stumbled back and dropped to his knees. His sword fell to the ground next to him as he began to pant heavily. He lowered his head, too ashamed at himself for not being able to do anything worthwhile in the battle.

Now that the replica was done fighting Saix put away his weapon and slowly approached. "I take it you're finished now? I hope maybe that proved a helpful way to vent out your frustration."

Slightly lifting his head, the replica stared at Saix. He still breathed heavily, but he managed to speak. "What? You mean you let me attack you? That's why you weren't fighting back?"

Saix gave a slight nod. "You're correct. I wanted to talk to you, but you were not thinking sensibly. With anger and hurt filling your mind, you couldn't listen clearly."

"And what makes you think I'm going to listen to you now?" the replica asked.

From his tone, it was obvious that he was annoyed. He still didn't want to think about what he had learned. But he wouldn't be able to avoid it forever. Especially with Saix wanting to get through to him about it.

Before Saix answered he raised his hand and cast a medium level cure spell over the replica. When he felt his soreness and tiredness fade he stood up. He found Saix's choice baffling. "Why did you heal me? I can just attack you again you know."

"But I know you won't," Saix replied, keeping a deadpan expression over his face.

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

The replica picked up his sword and stepped into a fighting positive. Saix on the other hand remained calm. He didn't even summon his weapon back. He kept his eyes locked on the replica and waited.

"Well? Go ahead."

The replica breathed in and out. He waited for Saix to move, to summon his weapon, to do anything else. He wanted to do it. He wanted to attack Saix. He wanted to make Saix pay for not doing anything before. If what Saix said was true, it annoyed him that he didn't try to help. If he just stood there though he claims to have wished to help, why didn't he do it sooner?

The replica readied his weapon, preparing to charge in for another strike. But he found his body not wanting to move. He saw Saix stand there, not moving an inch. He stayed there and kept a calm expression. It was as if he wasn't phased by the threat.

Though… he did say that he wished he could have helped. Was he really meaning it? Or was it all lies to get him to agree? Did Saix have some other goal? He didn't seem to have any ill intentions or malicious behavior like the other members had. There were too many questions for the replica to answer. He couldn't even answer them if he wanted. There was no way of knowing without asking the man directly.

The replica sighed as he dropped his arms to his side. Saix was right… he couldn't attack. He may have been angry for Saix not doing anything, and everything to do with his memoires, but he didn't have it in him to attack.

He was still angry over the fact that he wasn't the real Riku. but those memories and feelings that came from Riku were still with him. And that meant that he wasn't going to go and attack someone unfairly. Even if he was majorly ticked off at home, the replica now couldn't find it in himself to try and fight again. Maybe it was weakness. A weakness from Riku… the replica wasn't sure. He wasn't too sure of anything anymore.

The replica sighed. He lowered his head and stared at the ground. Saix moved a little closer. He hoped to talk with the replica in a calm and normal manner was going much smoother than he had thought. But it still came down to what he said next. He had to help the replica understand. He wasn't going to leave him on his own, not with the negative thoughts that clouded his mind.

"Are you ready to talk?" Saix asked, his voice quieter than normal.

"What is there even to talk about? You already said you were sorry, what else is there?"

"There is the part that is wanting to help you. You cannot just wander this castle for the rest of your life," Saix replied, glad that the replica no longer seemed hostile.

"And what exactly did you want to help me with?" The replica raised his head to make eye contact with Saix. There was still some anger in his eyes, but it was faint and not the prominent emotion.

Saix waited as he thought over what to say. There were many ways the conversation could go. And how words were said could change all of it. Saix breathed out a long breath before he gave the answer he had.

"Helping you find your way."

"I don't need any help!"

The wrong choice of words had been said. But thankfully they were not enough to make the replica act out any further. He stayed where he was, though Saix was sure he would storm off at this point.

"Maybe I am getting somewhere with this," Saix thought to himself. "He still seems to be struggling with this. I need to think about how to phrase this."

Saix cleared his throat once he thought that he had the right idea of what to say. "You do need someone to talk to, yes? Now with the knowledge you have, you are dealing with a sort of identity crisis. And it now proves difficult for you to think about your choices and thoughts."

Any remaining anger that was left in the replica's face faded. Now it was only the other emotion; sadness. He pursed his lips together, trying to keep a straight face. But the corners of his lips winced slightly. He couldn't hold a composed look for long.

"You don't understand what it is like… To think you are someone, but then discover that you aren't them. You're just a fake… a copy of them. All the memories you have are fake. None of it is real. You have no idea how much it hurts. To know all of your feelings and memories are fabricated."

The replica clutched his chest, the loneliness mixing into his already strong sadness. He wished he could be strong like he was before. He wanted to keep on moving, but he hated what he was. He hated he was only a fake. He would never be as good as the real Riku.

"Everything I have is only borrowed, which leaves me nothing but emptiness. I want to be more, but I can't ever be anything, only a shadow. A totally worthless and pointless shadow… That's what I am."

Saix could see how the emotions were tolling on the poor replica. Whatever he was feeling on the inside clearly wasn't going well. Now things were becoming much more critical. Saix tried to think much more carefully about what he was going to say, but it was proving difficult.

It was true that he didn't understand what the replica was feeling. He had no idea what it was like to learn that your entire existence was created by someone else. But he was not ready to give up. From when he first saw the replica, he knew that what he was seeing was more than just a copy from someone. Vexen had said that the replica had the data of Riku and therefore looked and acted just like him. It was all data and science. But that wasn't how Saix saw it.

He suddenly had the words he knew he had to say. "You're wrong. You aren't those things. Whether or not you had memories that were created, they still are memories. And you can choose to think about them however you want. You may think that you are only a replica of Riku, but I see that you are more than that. From the start, before your past was written and created, you acted differently. And now after you've relearned the truth about yourself, you still act differently."

"And by different… you mean?" the replica asked in a soft voice.

"You are different from whom you claim to be a worthless replica of."

The facade holding the replica's face was slipping even further. Saix could now see tears forming within the replica's eyes. It was an emotion that Saix hadn't even given thought to in years. Sadness and then crying. A thing only someone could do who had a heart, even if it was created.

"B-But my memories… they're just-" the replica started to speak, but Saix wasn't going to let him finish. If he wanted to make his point, he had to speak first.

"They are yours and only yours. No one else has those memories, and by my standards I'd say that is rather unique. You can complain all you want that you are a fake version of Riku, but Riku doesn't have the memories you have. He doesn't have your experiences. And he doesn't have the thoughts and feelings that you are having either. And even if you still hate that fact, you can still make whatever choices you want and that is what defines you. Not your appearance or anything else on that matter."

Tears streaked down the replica's face. He tried to cover his emotions with his hands over his face, but Saix had already seen it. He had seen how broken the replica felt. But now he wasn't sure what the replica was thinking. Was he upset at everything still, and couldn't hold it in? Or did he understand Saix's point and just felt overwhelmed by the statements?

Saix had been without emotions for so long he could no longer tell. All he could see was that the replica was upset. And now he was in a much tougher situation before. He knew how to handle a situation with words, but not really with actions. He had never been great in his former life at being compassionate. He could say things that he thought would better help someone, but anything else was too far out of his field.

Thankfully he didn't have time to think too hard on it. Much to his surprise, the replica moved forward towards him. The replica leaned forward and grabbed onto Saix and continued to cry.

Saix stared, baffled and confused by the action of the replica. He still wasn't too sure what he was supposed to do. Aside from being better with words, he also never had been the most friendly with others. But as he thought about it, an old memory came back to his mind.

Something he hadn't thought about for years.

Lea used to cry.

Years before they joined the Organization Lea always wore his emotions on his sleeve. There were countless times where Saix remembered staying by his side to comfort him. Even when they first joined the Organization Lea, then Axel, cried. Though then it was only memories of the emotion, Saix still comforted his friend as best as he could.

He did it for as long as he could until he had discovered a way to stop it all together. A way to keep Axel from crying as much as he did. A sort of magic charm that were the reverse-tear drops that now forever stayed on Axel's face. From the moment those were on Axel's face, he stopped crying, but it was also around the time when he was made second in command. But that was a different story. That was not prevalent right now.

Instead, what was important was that Saix remembered how he used to comfort Lea. With having that back in his mind, Saix placed one hand on the replica's… no… the young boy's head, and the other around his back. "It's okay," Saix said, remembering the words he used to speak to Lea. "Take as much time as you need. No reason to keep it all pent up."

The boy didn't give a proper response back, only a mix of sobs and mumbles. It still wasn't entirely clear what had caused the crying, but Saix had a feeling that it wasn't a bad thing. He figured that it was just the right moment and right choice of words that brought out the inner emotions. If that was the case, he may have gotten through to him. All Saix had to do now was wait for the boy to calm down. And he would wait for it, as long as he could help, he would do it.

He smiled slightly as he stood there. " _I can't believe I had almost forgotten about Lea crying. Has it really been that long? So much has changed since then… No matter, I know what I need to do now. And besides… it's nice to be able to do this again. To be there for someone and comfort them… as a friend. How nice this is indeed."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup Repliku lives. Cause I don't think non Nort Saix would be that manipulative as Axel was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey we are back and this time another chapter that is one of my favorites.   
> Small a warning, small bit of violence within this chapter.

The replica had finally calmed down enough that he let go of Saix. He still stood there though, his eyes red from crying, but no more tears were on his face. He breathed in slowly a few times before he could make proper eye contact with Saix.

"Uh… thank you…" the replica muttered, finally breaking the long silence between the two.

Saix nodded. "You're welcome. It looked like you needed to hear those things and let it out anyways."

"It's… You don't see that as weak though? If anyone else saw that I bet that they would think I'm pretty pathetic for letting my emotions do that to me," the replica said as he lowered his head.

"I wouldn't say that."

"How would you even know? Aren't you a Nobody? Someone who doesn't have a heart to feel emotion, anyone?" the replica asked, now skeptical of anything that Saix had said before.

"You are correct about that, but I once was a Somebody. I once had a heart and I knew what it was to have emotions. In my opinion it is better to let out what you are feeling then concealing it. If others judge you for having natural human emotions, then that is their problem, not yours."

The replica pressed his lips together. Every time he tried to get angry at Saix and find a fault in what he was trying to do, he somehow managed to make everything sound better. Somehow Saix was able to say the right thing each time. It almost would have infuriated the replica of what was being said wasn't so helpful to him.

And on top of that he remained perfectly calm and posed. Never once seemed annoyed or upset by anything the replica had said. He would have attributed that to him being a Nobody, but he had already seen the other Nobodies fake emotions, so there was the possibility Saix could do the same.

Once again the replica felt thankful to Saix. If he wasn't there to talk to him, and say those wise things, the replica wasn't sure what he would have done with him. "Thanks… again…"

"No worries. But what you need to figure out is what you are going to do next. Do you have any idea yet?"

The replica lowered his head and shook it slowly.

"Would you like me to offer some more advice?" Saix asked, still having the drive to help out the replica as much as he could.

There was a pause from the replica, but then he nodded.

"I think what you should do is go to confront Riku," Saix stated.

The replica's head shot up and he stared long and hard at Saix. "What? Why would you want me to do that?"

"Because I do not believe you will truly face yourself about your identity until you properly talk things through with Riku. But you shouldn't go in rash about it. You need to only talk things out with him."

Now the replica was starting to feel annoyed again. The last thing he wanted to do was to go and see Riku. Why would he even want to see whom he was created after? Seeing the real Riku wouldn't help him feel better at all. It would only remind him of how he was a copy and nothing more.

"I do not want to see him! That's not going to help me at all!"

"Then I would suggest you go back to help Namine, since I know deep down you still probably want to. But with that, I have a feeling Riku will end up finding her one way or another because she is currently with Sora. So regardless you will have to face Riku one way or another. And in my personal preference, doing it before going to Namine and Sora would be the best option."

The replica gritted his teeth. There Saix went again, saying something that sounded right. Despite not wanting to face the real Riku, what Saix was saying did make sense. The replica did want to see Namine again, and he did want to help her. Even if his memories of her were fake, Saix's point that they were his and his only, made him feel better about them. And he wanted to cherish them, and keep Namine prominent in his heart.

But now he was at another loss. Saix was right, but once again the replica didn't know where to go from there. "But… what do I say to him? How do I know he won't go and attack me 'cause I'm just some copy of him?"

"I can come along to help you if you need more guidance. And to see that Riku does not do anything like that to you," Saix replied, offering as much kindness as he could to the replica.

The replica closed his eyes, thinking over the situation. "I'd like that. Please… help me figure this out."

"Of course," Saix responded as he walked closer to the replica. He placed a hand on his shoulder and offered a small smile. "Now let's go, all right?"

"Yeah… though there is something I want to ask before we go…" the replica said, speaking softer than before.

"And what would that be?"

"Since you first encountered me here… you never called me by Riku, or even 'the replica'... why is that?"

Saix looked at the replica carefully. "I didn't say any name to you because I did not want to dismiss what I was trying to get across. If I kept calling you 'Riku' or 'replica', how would my point of you being your own person make any sense?"

"I guess you're right… but what do I do about that then? I can't go on being nameless," the replica replied.

"I think that is something you need to figure out for yourself. Find yourself and find a name that can suit you," Saix said, offering the best he could.

He knew that he could not name the replica, that was something that was in his right to do. It was up to the replica if he wanted his own name. And he would have to do it on his own. All Saix could do was offer hope that he would find it one day.

"Okay, yeah… I'll think about that," the replica said as they started walking down the hallway.

"Is there something you would like me to call you in the meantime?" Saix asked.

The replica shook his head. "I can't really think of anything right now. But if I do, I'll let you know."

Saix nodded in understanding as they proceeded to walk. Soon enough the replica spoke up again, having more thoughts on his mind than he originally thought. "Can you tell me… what I was like before?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean before I was giving these fake memories to think I was the real Riku. I know that at first I didn't think that, but I can no longer remember anything about it. Was I any different when I knew that I was a replica of Riku in the first place?"

Saix nodded to him. "You did know that you were a replica of Riku, but you were rather arrogant and cocky."

The replica whipped his head to glare at Saix, and once again was met with his calm expression. But he didn't say anything, he stared at Saix, waiting for him to say more.

"You expressed your annoyance with the real Riku, seeing him as a loser and a wimp. So I am not in the wrong to say you were much more arrogant before."

"And so you mean that what I am now is an improvement?" the replica asked quietly.

"In a way, yes, because you now think much more logically and do not think you are above everyone else," Saix answered.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment…" the replica replied, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

* * *

The two walked enough until they reached the floor where they sensed Riku would be. When they entered the floor, it was a version of Twilight Town. Saix knew that it was not the real version of course, only one that used the data from cards. But it was still fairly convincing.

They walked around until they got to where Riku was, which was at the gate to the old mansion. They saw him walking around, looking at his surroundings, trying to understand where to go next.

"Maybe Namine is here…" Riku muttered aloud, still pounding where to go.

The replica watched him quietly. He did not move or say a word though. His eyes were locked on Riku, and no doubt he was having deep thoughts about confronting him. Saix cleared his throat and began to whisper to the replica, not wanting to draw the attention of Riku yet. But it had seemed Riku must have sensed them. His attention was more focused on what was around him, and he looked to be searching more diligently.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"I still don't know what I should say…" the replica whispered in return.

"Would you like me to start talking to him then?"

The replica shook his head. "No, I have to be the one to do it. It has to be me."

With a deep breath, the replica stepped out from where the two of them were hiding. "Hey," the replica said, as he tried calling out to Riku. His voice was a bit shaky, but he continued to move forward and Riku turned around to face him.

"What are you doing here?" Riku asked, ready to draw his weapon at anymore.

"I wanted to talk to you…" the replica started to say. "And I can sense you are different than I last thought."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Your darkness, you are handling it better. You're not afraid of it."

"And? What is your point?" Riku asked, starting to get suspicious of the replica's quiet approach opposed to his rude and cocky attitude from before.

"Just a comment really… but I… I do want to talk to you," the replica replied before dropping his gaze.

Riku slowly loosened up. His first encounter with his replica had left him annoyed, this was a complete change. He wasn't acting cocky or claiming he was better. He almost looked sad and defeated. But Riku knew he couldn't just believe him right off the bat.

"Okay…? Then go on with it? What do you have to say?" Riku asked as he crossed his arms.

"It's hard to explain!" the replica retorted. "You see what I am. You see that I am only a fake of you. But even if I can't do anything to change my appearance… I want to do something to make my own choices. I don't want to remain an empty shadow of you. But I think I need to work alongside you… or something to really understand that."

"Huh? What does that even mean? How would sticking around me do anything?"

The replica groaned in frustration. He really wished he had asked Saix more on what he should say. Now he felt totally stuck and he was not fully ready for this. He gripped his head and let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, okay!? I'm still trying to figure this out… and I still don't understand a lot of it. All I know is that I want to discover myself… and be different from you. But I just… I don't…"

"I think I may be able to help with the answer," Saix said, speaking up. He left the hiding spot and entered into the open area, walking up besides the replica.

Now that Riku saw him approach, he took to an offensive position and summoned his weapon. "You are another one of the others. The same dark scent, just like the rest."

"I have no reason to fight with you Riku. Please lower your weapon and hear me out," Saix said.

Riku narrowed his eyes, looking at Saix. He had not met him before, but he did have the same scent like he had encountered before. But for some reason, he didn't feel intimidated by him or threatened to fight like he did with the others. He remained calm, but Riku couldn't assume he meant his word.

"How can I trust you? Why even would I trust you?" Riku didn't lower his weapon as he asked his questions. He wouldn't do so unless he truly knew that he could trust whom he saw before him.

The replica stepped forward a little. "He really only wants to help. If it hadn't been for him, I probably still would have held a lot of agitation and resentment towards you."

"But why would I even trust you? The way you acted the first time we met left the impression that you wanted to prove that you were better than me."

The replica sighed and lowered his head again. "I don't even remember that."

"How can you not remember that? It wasn't all that long ago," Riku asked, now feeling a little confused by the replica's words. It was only a few floors back he had met his replica, could so much time really pass by for him to forget? Or was it something faulty with being a replica?

"It's a long story… but I no longer have any memories of what I did before," the replica answered honestly. "I'm sorry if I acted like that."

The more Riku stared at the two that stood before him, the more he saw how truthful their words were. Finally he let out a sigh of his own and lowered his weapon. "Okay… what is it that you want to help with? And secondly, who are you?"

"My name is Saix, but that isn't really of much importance. But what I do want to do is help. And I figure if you let him come along…" Saix gestured to the replica. "You two can not only work together, but also help discover differences between the two of you."

"I suppose I see your reason for that, but why do you think that we would need to work together?" Riku asked.

"I do not know what lies on the path before you, but it is always nice to have a helping hand," Saix replied.

"And," the replica chimed in. "Even though I am trying to figure out how to be my own person, I guess you could say that having someone to talk to about my thoughts would be nice, especially if they have a similar mind to my own. Or really… the other way around."

Riku still wasn't sure how to take all of this in. All the other people with the black coats he had faced, fought against him. But Saix was different. And then his replica was acting calm and nice now. It seemed far too strange to believe, but what else was he supposed to do? He already knew that choosing to fight that wouldn't be right. Neither of them looked in the mood or position to start up something like that anyways.

"I guess so… I mean you have nowhere else to go, right?" Riku asked, facing the replica.

The replica shook his head. "No, I don't."

"All right, then, I guess you can come along with me."

The replica raised his head back up. He did not expect such an easy and quick response back from Riku. He thought for sure there would be a bit more of a confrontation over the subject. "Why did you agree so easily?"

"I guess it is because… I am curious. Even if we look and sound the same, seeing you act differently now, it makes me wonder who you will become."

There was that reason, but Riku also had one other reason, but it was one that he was keeping to himself. The other was that he wanted to start trusting others again. After being deceived by Maleficent to turn against Sora, his trust had faltered. He believed and trusted a manipulative, evil witch over his best friend, and that still lingered deeply in his heart.

He wanted to try again to trust in his heart and not give into any manipulation. And right now his heart was telling him that he could trust these two. Though maybe his heart only said that for his replica because he was a replica of him. But Riku didn't want to believe anything like that anymore. After seeing this new personality in him, he wanted to truly believe the replica had changed and wanted to be better.

The replica found himself starting to smile from Riku's words. Though still a bit surprised Riku agreed, he was happy for it. "Then I can say the same to you, because I want to know how you stopped being afraid to use the darkness, but also use the light."

Saix watched as Riku and the replica smiled at one another. Seeing that there was no longer any tension in the air or in their eyes, he felt like it was best that he made his leave. "I wish you two the best of luck, but I must be going now. I still have… other matters I need to attend to."

Saix had already turned around and started to walk away, but just as he did, he heard one of the two called out to him. "Wait just a moment."

It was hard to tell which one it was, since their voices were the same, but he wanted to guess it was the replica. But Saix did turn around, and looked towards the two boys. "Something else?"

The replica walked back to Saix, keeping a serious tone in his face and eyes. "You're just going to leave? We're about to go see Namine, and you aren't going to come?"

"I don't see why I would need to come along for that," Saix replied.

"Hmph," the replica huffed before crossing his arms. "Don't play dumb. I heard Sora telling Namine that you told him to tell her that you were sorry. If you can tell me that you are sorry, you can tell it to her in person as well."

Saix stared long and hard. He knew the replica was right about that. He should apologize to Namine in person. It would be the proper and right thing to do. Though he knew he still had to deal with Zexion, he figured it could wait a little bit longer.

Though when he tried to sense if Zexion was still around, as he did survive the encounter with Riku, there was nothing. There was no other Organization member's presence left in the castle aside from his own.

"Did he actually not make it through the battle? Could it have been he escaped from Riku only to disappear afterwards? Or… did he escape because I did not deal with him immediately after?"

Saix wanted to sigh in frustration, but he could see that the two were still waiting for an answer from him. And he knew that he did not have to disclose what he was supposed to do to Zexion. That was his own mission and he saw no need to inform them of it. Though it did bother him that Zexion was nowhere to be sensed in the castle, he still did want to apologize to Namine.

"I will come along, but I cannot stay long," Saix answered. "It would be best if I got to those other matters as soon as I can."

With that, Saix, Riku, and the replica walked onward until they came to the room where Namine was. She stood there, as if she had been waiting for a while now. When she saw the group come in, her eyes widened. Right away she looked to Saix first, a mix of fear and confusion filling her face. But it all faded away slowly once she breathed in and out a few times.

Saix walked forward and looked down at Namine. "I'm sorry that I did not give you an apology in person at first. I didn't think you would want to see me after everything else that happened."

"No it's okay Saix, you helped me. You're the only one who wasn't rude to me. And you didn't attack Marluxia when he held me in front of him. I was afraid you would… but you didn't. So thank you."

Saix smiled. "Of course. I am glad that you are all right."

She smiled back to Saix before her eyes shifted to see Riku, and the replica standing next to him. Once again she felt confusion. "Oh… um I didn't expect you to come back. Um…"

The replica held up a hand. "It's okay Namine. I'm working on figuring out a name for myself, but it's okay."

Namine nodded, smiling slightly again. "Okay, I understand."

Now it was Riku's turn to speak. "So you're Namine?"

"Yes."

Seeing that he wasn't needed anymore, Saix left the room. The three walked off to another section of the room, no doubt where Sora was, but that wasn't of any concern to Saix. He had to get back to his own mission now. But the fact that Zexion was no longer in the castle made things a bit more difficult.

"He probably went back to The Castle that Never Was. No doubt to try and expose my treachery to Xemnas…" Saix sighed heavily. "I should go back, see if I can beat him there or something. I know I still need to search a bit more… I don't think at this rate I'll find anything on the chamber, but I know I should try. I can only hope that Zexion's plan to expose me comes slowly, or at least not have anyone believe him. Or maybe Axel will be able to handle it…"

* * *

Sometime later, back at the Castle that Never Was, Zexion arrived at the entrance to the place. He quietly walked through the hallways, seeing as it was late at night and everyone else was sleeping.

Though he did want to go straight to Xemnas and explain what happened, he knew better than to try and wake the superior. It would have to wait until the next day. But that gave Zexion plenty of time to get his facts together and say what needed to be said.

The trek back to the castle had been long enough for him that he did want to go sleep right away anyways. He headed up a few floors, and then down another hall until he got to his room. Once he was inside he let out a long and heavy sigh.

"I didn't think you'd be coming back."

A chilling, cold voice came across the room. A voice filled with cruelty and darkness that made a chill run up Zexion's back. Slowly he turned his head to see none other than Axel leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed while kept his eyes locked on Zexion.

"A-Axel?!" Zexion asked. "What are you doing in here?"

"When I sensed that you were back, and only you, I figured something was wrong," Axel replied. "And now here we are."

"What are you even talking about? Didn't any Dusks report back to tell of who we lost at Castle Oblivion?"

"Oh yeah they did, but they couldn't say who. You know the Dusks, not much for conversation… since you know… their Dusks." Axel then stood from the wall and walked closer to Zexion, his golden eyes gleaming in the darkness of the room. "Why do you mention that? You know something?"

"Yes in fact! And I think you would like to hear it. Though Sora took out Larxene and Marluxia, and Riku took out Lexaeus, Saix… he-"

Before Zexion could finish, he was shoved down onto the floor. He let out a short cry of pain as he head hit the floor first before the rest of his body. When he opened his eyes Axel was kneeling over him with one hand wrapped around Zexion's neck.

Axel's eyes were wide, full of energy and excitement. And slowly a grin started to spread across his face, one that made Zexion feel uneasy. Axel leaned forward, bringing his face closer to Zexion's. "You weren't supposed to come back."

Zexion gasped. He tried to speak out to Axel, but when he did, Axel started to squeeze his throat.

"Uh-uh. You don't get to speak now. You've already seen and said too much," Axel replied, his grin turning more sinister by the second. "But before we can continue our little fun chat here, I think we need to move to a less noticeable location."

Darkness surrounded them and in the blink of an eye they had left the room and were now out somewhere in The World That Never Was. Zexion was still pinned to the ground by Axel, and his hold on his next was still tight. It was enough to make Zexion start to hyperventilate.

"A-Axel… what… are you… doing…?" Zexion wheezed out, surprised Axel let him talk this time.

"I'm doing what should have been done; eliminating you," Axel cackled. "And oh I think this is going to be fun"

"But… wh-why…"

"Because…" Axel replied before he starting to stand up. He kept his hand around Zexion, so he picked him up and now held him above the ground. His fingers slowly began to tighten once more, and Zexion choked.

With his eyes beginning to water, he tried to look at Axel, though the lack of air was making it hard to focus. He could see that Axel was still grinning at him, looking far too happy than anyone else should have been. Zexion could feel his hands trembling, but he couldn't get himself to do anything. The main reason was that Axel was far more terrifying than he ever expected. The man was still glaring at him with his golden eyes, filled with a near inhuman look. Then there was the lack of oxygen was making it hard to process anything. Without enough oxygen to his brain, he had become lighthead, and that left his brain to function severely less than what he would have wanted.

"I need you out of the way," Axel said, finally finishing his sentence.

He squeeze tighter and Zexion once again let out a series of weak, struggling gasps. "P… P-Ple… ase…"

"So sorry Zexion," Axel replied, the cruel sarcasm rolled off his tongue as he continued to keep his grip tight. He chuckled softly, only adding to the fact that he was clearly enjoying it. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

Zexion wanted to beg again. He wanted to try and get some words out, something he could say to get Axel to stop. But then he felt heat forming at his neck. Axel sneered as the flames stared to flicker from his fingers. Zexion's eyes widened, and then he felt the flames engulf him. He didn't even have enough air to scream as he felt every part of his body catch fire.

Axel watched, all with an amusing face as Zexion struggled. Within seconds his body went slack and it began to fade away. Axel's grin slowly faded and he let go of Zexion, who fell to the ground and remained motionless.

"Maybe I should have let you breathe a bit more. It would have been more enjoyable if I could hear your pitiful screams," Axel spat at Zexion coldly before the body vanished entirely.

"Oh well, you're out of the picture now, that's what matters anyways," Axel mumbled as he opened a portal to take him back to the castle.


	12. Chapter 12

Saix searched back and forth and in every possible direction that could, and no matter what he did, he could not find any results. He knew he had been searching for days now, yet there was still nothing more that he could find anywhere in Castle Oblivion.

" _Surely there must be something more to this… I wouldn't have been tasked with this if I were doomed to fail at the start,"_ Saix thought to himself as he continued to look around.

It had been days now since the battles at Castle Oblivion took place. Now it was only an empty, desolate castle. Namine had gone off with Riku and his new 'twin' with Sora to somewhere safer. Where that was Saix didn't know, but it wasn't his business anyways. But they were safe and out of the Organization's radar, at least as far as Saix could tell.

That is how he hoped it could stay. He didn't want them to get too deeply involved again with the Organization, but he knew that inevitably it would end up like that. He could only hope… hope as much as a Nobody could.

* * *

It had been over a month now, probably around a month and a half since Saix had left for Castle Oblivion. And still at the end of each day, he had no further results or progress than when he started. By this point it was starting to feel like a lost cause, and he wasn't too sure how much longer he would go on for it.

Once he did at least two more searches, he finally figured it was time to conclude his time at the castle. Now that it would be over he could finally return back to The World that Never Was and resume more normal missions.

" _I wonder if anything has changed since I took my leave. Surely Roxas has improved by now… I wonder how he is doing on his own…"_ Saix let these thoughts float around his head while he prepared to leave.

Though at first he thought it odd that the first person he thought of back there was Roxas. He was only the Nobody of Sora and Saix barely even knew him for a month. So why was he the first person Saix thought about seeing again… opposed to a certain other.

" _Maybe it's perhaps my curiosity has grown now that I've encountered Sora. To see such a stark difference between the two of them… makes me wonder so much about their situations. Maybe there is more about this than I originally thought."_

Once he had all of the things he needed, he left the castle and started his way back to The World that Never Was. The closer he got, the more his thoughts changed. They went from thinking about Roxas and wanting to see him… to wondering what Axel was going to have to say to him.

" _First priority has to be reporting to Axel… otherwise I may not hear the end of it. I can only imagine what he will have to say,"_ Saix thought as he sighed to himself.

* * *

Saix arrived back at the castle by early morning, though by the darkened skies of The World that Never Was, no one would be able to tell. But Saix had no reason to think of the time, all he needed to do was report in like he was expected to do.

He kept a steady pace as he first headed to the Grey Room. Though it was early in the morning, he knew by this hour Axel would have already been awake and in the room, waiting for the other members to come for their missions.

When he got down there he saw Axel was in fact in the room, currently sitting on one of the couches, writing away on some papers. But when Saix stepped in the room his head snapped up and he was met with those harsh, amber eyes.

"It's about time you got back," Axel said as he stood up. "Been wondering if you actually had made it or not."

Saix breathed out slowly, keeping his composure still and calm. On the inside he felt a little bit disappointed. Axel didn't bother to greet him. Not even a smile to see his return. It only was straight to business. But that was how it was nowadays… Saix thought he had gotten used to it by this point. But for some reason he had expected their reunion to go a little bit different.

Maybe there was still part of him hoping to see Axel smile… like he used to. To have him be open and friendly like when he had first met him years ago when they were Somebodies.

"So you're going to get that paper work started then?" Axel said, pulling Saix from his thoughts.

"The paperwork? Oh yes, for what happened. Of course, I'll get to it as soon as I can," Saix responded.

"If you say so, but it better get done. I've dealt with enough already with the Dusks reporting back the minimal results. So much crap to deal with, but I know you will give me a good in depth report as always," Axel replied. "Since you just got back today, I don't have any mission for you. So hey, great time to get that report started."

"I suppose," Saix said. Honestly, he just wanted to get back and rest and save the report for the night. But Axel was hard to persuade on something like that. He would have to just get it done before he got to do anything like relaxing.

"Bring it up to me when you finish, I would honestly like to get this whole thing done with. Though there is still a lot to deal with," Axel's eyes narrowed in on Saix after he said that.

Though the words were not stated, Saix could only figure what he meant about. Zexion. Saix did not know what happened to the man after he left Castle Oblivion, but from Axel's tone… it was clear that the situation had been taken care of. And Saix wasn't too sure how he felt about it currently being a vague subject.

"Yes, I understand," Saix said, having only those words come from his mind.

"Good. Now get to doing that paperwork. If you want to save some time for the day to relax, you better get to it now," Axel said before going back to his spot on the couch.

Saix wavered there for a moment, watching Axel carefully. " _Lea… whatever became of you…"_

* * *

Saix had spent the entire morning in his room, writing away as much as he could for the reports. He of course had to leave certain details out, such as going after Vexen, but he found reasonable explanations to give that would cover it.

Once he finished everything that he could, he looked to the time. It was already late afternoon. Saix let out a long sigh as he went to gather up all of his papers. At least now he could use the rest of the evening to finally get that rest he wanted. Or at least do something much more peaceful then write out paperwork all day.

Back in the Grey Room, Axel was still there, but now he had moved to the other couch. He had more papers in his hands than before and was writing vigorously on his clipboard.

Without a word Saix walked up and placed the stack of papers neatly down next to Axel.

The redhead barely even glanced at him this time. "How about that, you actually finished before I thought."

"You thought it would take me longer?" Saix asked while raising an eyebrow.

"I mean it was a lot of things you had to cover. But I guess I've forgotten how good you are with your reports. I've missed seeing them… the other members still are so-so… and Demyx… ugh hell you know he hasn't changed much. I've been really tempted to try using more threatening methods again. You know it worked for a few weeks when I did some light threatening."

"I would not call nearly burning off his mullet as 'light threatening'," Saix replied before shifting slightly.

It was always a bit unnerving when Axel started to talk about hurting the other members. The way he talked about it and how he smiled when thinking of it… it was sickening. Whatever prompted him to think in such horrible harshness was Saix wasn't too sure of. He knew it had to do with Axel becoming 2nd in command, for that was when the change started to show, but other than that he had nothing else to go off of.

Axel ended up shrugging, passing off Saix's comment as casual. "It's whatever. I'll figure out a way to keep him on his toes. It's a fun challenge, heh. But you know, surprisingly the zombie boy has improved in his reports. Quite an accomplishment for him. Even the other zombie is _actually_ showing a feasible amount of something."

"The… other zombie?" Saix asked.

"You know the other new member. The mask head. I haven't figured out the perfect nickname yet, but I'm sure it will come to me in time," Axel responded.

Saix breathed out a long and slow breath. He could see that Axel was having far too much fun thinking about all of this. Questioning Axel on it further would only encourage him to speak more cruelly towards others, and Saix was not in the mood to have to hear any of that.

"If that's all you need from me then, I'll be heading off," Saix replied.

"Yeah, okay. Do whatever you want for the rest of the day. I'll read over the report later and come to you if I need more."

Saix took his leave without another word. No point in saying goodbye when he wasn't ever greeted properly. But now that it was out of the way Saix opened up a portal and headed inside. Shortly after a bit of walking he exited out into Twilight Town by the Side Street.

Twilight Town was the one place that was on his mind where he knew he could get some peace and quiet. The one place where he could feel most relaxed and let his tense mind wind down. And if his hunch was right, Roxas was most likely on a mission in town. If he was then that could prove to lighten up his day.

Saix started to walk, but soon enough he heard footsteps coming the other way. He stopped, waiting to see who it was. And sure enough as his suspicion was right, Roxas was walking around the corner.

As soon as Roxas turned fully and now was facing across from Saix, he stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes widened, looking completely caught off guard by the sight that he was seeing.

Saix smiled slightly as he walked closer. "Roxas, it's been a while hasn't it? It's good to see you again."

"S-Saix!?" Roxas finally sputtered out. "You're alive… I mean you're back?"

"Now why wouldn't I be?"

"A-Axel… he said that you were gone like all the rest. Everyone was annihilated at Castle Oblivion. Axel had said that no one survived…"

Saix crossed his arms. "Is that what he said? Well it seems he may have embellished it far too much. I'm perfectly fine as you see."

"Yeah, you're right. But I was really worried that you weren't coming back," Roxas replied with a shake of his head.

" _I suppose that is one way he could put it. Though that worry was only his mind thinking it for him, but I'll let him keep it that way. Feels more… natural in conversation rather than point out he shouldn't be able to feel that,"_ Saix thought to himself.

"So now that you're back, do you want to get some ice cream?" Roxas asked after a moment.

"I think that would be nice. I have missed it a lot," Saix said.

"Then meet me at the clock tower! I'll go and buy some!" Roxas said before running off towards the area of Twilight Town that had the shops.

Saix found himself smiling again, it was such a strange thing to be doing, but he didn't mind it. After the long time at Castle Oblivion he was thankful to be back to see Roxas again. Not wanting to keep Roxas waiting, Saix headed off to the clock tower to meet at their special spot.

Once up there Saix took his seat and looked out over the town with the sunset casting a beautiful light. He truly had missed this. He sighed deeply and let the rest of his stressful thoughts fade away for the time being. Soon enough Roxas came up holding two ice creams in his hand. He handed one to Saix before sitting down next to him.

They started to eat in silence, but eventually Roxas found himself staring at Saix ever so often. "So you just got back?"

Saix shook his head. "No. I arrived in the morning, but I checked in with Axel who had me fill out paperwork about the mission."

"Ooh. So you've been back this whole day and I didn't even know it…"

"It's not surprising that you didn't know. It's not like Axel would be one to announce my arrival."

"That's true I guess. But you finished all that work then?" Roxas asked before biting back into his ice cream.

"Yeah… After everything I went through and spending the entire day filling out paperwork, I needed a good place to relax. A place where I can sort out my thoughts in peace," Saix said. A gentle breeze came over them and Saix closed his eyes, feeling relaxed once again.

"Oh… do you need some time alone?" Roxas asked, not wanting to bother Saix too much if he was stressed.

Saix shook his head. "It's okay Roxas. You being here and talking to me helps. Having someone to talk to that can understand you is rather beneficial."

"Ooh yeah. I know what you mean. When you first left I went up here by myself, but it was kind of lonely. But then I brought Xion up here after a little while, and that did help."

Saix looked at Roxas with a curious glance. He already had figured and seen first hand now that Roxas had improved so much since he last saw him, but this was not something he had thought about. Roxas had made friends with the other keyblade wielder. And now that left further questions in Saix's mind.

" _If Roxas has improved his mind since his first days, does that mean the same for Xion? Hmmm… very interesting."_

"That sounds very nice of you to do that. I hope you two have been getting along," Saix responded.

"Yeah we have, and we're friends now. And…" Roxas trailed off for a moment. "If it's okay with you, maybe all three of us can have ice cream together?"

This was yet another thing Saix had not expected to hear today. Not only had Roxas made friends with Xion, but now he wanted all of them to spend their time after work eating ice cream together? Saix wasn't against it, he knew that much. But the idea of it being mentioned never had crossed his mind. The overall fact though was that he wasn't a people person. Being in a crowd of people wasn't something he favored… though this was only one other person to eat ice cream with. It didn't sound too bad at all.

"She can join us, I don't mind. I think it would be nice to know her anyways."

"Great!" Roxas exclaimed. "I can't wait to tell her!"

Saix smiled at Roxas's energy. The rest of the day was really turning around for him now that he was back. Back to a familiar way of doing things and he was glad for them. He truly had missed this. Just a simple evening eating ice cream with a friend.

* * *

**Roxas Diary Entry: Day 71**

_After I finished my mission today Saix showed up. I wasn't expecting it, but it turned out he had been back since the morning and I didn't even know it! It was really shocking 'causeI thought he was gone. But it was really nice to see him again!  
_ _We went back up to have ice cream like we used to. Our conversation was still fairly small like they were before, but I still really missed them._

_I was feeling really tense before about him not coming back, but now that he is all that sensation is gone.  
_ _I'm just happy he is back._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_It is my first day back writing these since I left for Castle Oblivion. More time has gone by then I originally realized, but I can understand. So much time and effort had been put into Castle Oblivion and the plans… but that all went south rather fast. But that is aside from the point._

_Now that I am back I can resume normal missions again. And on top of that go back to having ice cream after work with Roxas. I truly did not expect to miss that so much. Finally going back up there and having ice cream in that tranquil location relieved much of my mind. I can only hope things can stay like that for a while, but I know that these types of things can never stay simple for long._


	13. Chapter 13

That night Saix was preparing for bed, the day had been long and he was ready for a good long sleep. After having to fill out reports right after returning and only having a little time to sit and relax, Saix just wanted to sleep. He could only hope that the next few days of adjusting back to normal would go easily.

But the sound of a portal appearing in his room distracting him from the pleasant thoughts of rest. He turned around and saw who he expected to see. The only person who would just barge into his room without knocking or even a warning… Axel.

"What is it?" Saix asked, before sitting down on his bed. If he couldn't sleep yet, he would at least relax his body a bit.

"It's about your report. Namine is just gone now? How do you lose track of one little child?" Axel asked before crossing his arms.

" _Ah, that's why he is here,"_ Saix thought to himself.

He had a feeling that Axel would no doubt come sooner or later to ask him about it. After all he had fabricated several things throughout the entire report. And a good few of those things left out where things that he wanted to keep to himself such as where Namine went or his interaction with the replica.

"I did not have the time to keep an eye on her. I had other, more important things to deal with than watching over her, and you know though," Saix answered as simply as he could.

"Sure, but did you even try and look for her? You remember why we wanted her right?"

"Yes I do remember, but as I already stated keeping track of her was not my priority," Saix stated, keeping his composure calm.

"Fine, whatever. I'll let that slide then, we can always get her back another time. On to the other matters… everything else was fine and detailed. I expected no less from you. But what was it really that hard to locate where the chamber could be?"

"Why do you think it took me so long to return? The multitude of floors and vagueness of each makes everything feel like some sort of maze or puzzle. I lost my way so many times and to no avail."

"Ugh, so basically it was a lot of wasted time there," Axel grumbled. "Well… not entirely all wasted. Heh, the traitors were dealt with like you said, and that's good news for me. Less people to have to work with each day. Never did like Marluxia or Larxene anyways, _especially_ Larxene. Boy she was a really-"

"Was that all you had to say Lea?" Saix said. He was quick to cut him off, making sure that he couldn't get the chance to say the choice words that he had in mind.

"No no, there was more of course. Less satisfying things though," Axel said as he took a few steps forward. His gaze sharpened while keeping his eyes locked onto Saix. "I expected better from you Saix. It's not like you to slack."

"I don't know what you mean," Saix replied.

"You know exactly what I mean. You slacked and I had to pick up the pieces. Or more like… dispose of said pieces," Axel chuckled softly.

Right away Saix knew what Axel had to be referring to. Zexion. He knew that the man had escaped and no doubt came running back to the castle. From that, it meant exactly what Saix imagiend had happened… Axel dealt with Zexion, and it was no doubt in some dark or gruesome way. Saix could only hope that Axel would not joyously endude in how he had to do so.

"Yeah, about that. How exactly did you let him get away like that?" Axel asked, though there was a heavy tone of annoyance in his voice.

"He went to go after Riku and I let him do that. But afterwards by the time I went looking for him, he had already left."

"And just what were you doing? I highly doubt you were sitting around twiddling your thumbs."

"Looking for the chamber of course," Saix lied. "There was that and making sure that Sora had properly defeated Marluxia. But even then the keyblade wielder had also disappeared after Marluxia was gone."

"Hmph, sure. But you still left me to deal with the bookworm. Do you know how surprised I was when he showed up in the middle of the night here? At first I thought it was you, but no… it was him and I could tell he had something on his mind to speak. He was ready to rat on you and that would ruin everything. So I had to think quickly to get rid of him without letting anyone else be alerted."

Axel chuckled a moment after, his expression changing into that cold and twisted smile. The one smile that seemed wrong for Axel to have… at least from how Saix remembered him as Lea.

"Even though you screwed it up, I should actually thank you. Getting the chance to dispose of him really brought my mood up. Though when we have the time," Axel lowered his voice even more than he already had. "You gotta tell me how Vexen went. I'd love to hear how you did it."

Saix shuddered slightly at Axel's tone, but he tried his best to keep his composer. He wasn't about to have Axel call him out to criticize him for his reaction.

"Perhaps another time then," Saix answered. "They are at least out of the way now."

"That's what I planned for. All of those members who I could easily get in the way are now dead and gone. So let's say that's a good note then to end it on."

"If you say so…" Saix said, still a little unnerved by how casual Axel was talking about the deaths of the other members.

"Anyways, that's all I got for now. Gotta get back to the usual work filing. Good talk though, just remember, don't let it happen too often where I need to pick up your slack. I won't be too happy if it becomes a regular thing," Axel replied, his tone dipping into a darker and colder tone. And then without another word he left the room through the dark corridor.

Once Saix saw that he was alone he leaned back and flopped onto this bed. Staring up at the ceiling, he let his mind wander over the situation that had just happened. " _I cannot understand it. I know you are just doing your job Lea, but you seem to take it to such a severe extent. Have these years as a Nobody really changed you so much? Or is it just the work… I just wish I could know what it is."_

He tried to think further on the subject, trying to understand and find a way to make sense. He wanted to know why there was such a change in his friend. Why over these years he had changed so much from what Saix knew him as. Sure there were theories and thoughts he had on the matter, but without any proper evidence he could never be too sure. The only thing he did know was that the change started when he noticed the color change Axel's eyes. But even then Saix wasn't sure what any of that really meant.

" _There are just too many questions to this…_ " Saix then yawned, too tired to continue on with this thoughts. ' _I feel as if I may never understand it, or at least not anytime soon."_

Though Saix wanted to try and think more on the subject, no more thoughts came to his mind. Only the heavy dragging thoughts of sleep were circling around him now. So with not being able to keep his mind awake for much longer, Saix finally went to sleep.

* * *

For the following morning Saix woke back up, taking a few minutes to remind himself where he was. Castle Oblivion was over and he was back in The World that Never Was. He would resume normal missions again and fill out mission reports. It seemed much less intriguing than what had gone on in the other castle, but there were merits to being back.

One of the main ones being he could see Roxas again and enjoy peaceful evenings up at the clock tower. He truly had found himself missing the days of sitting up there and eating ice cream with his new friend. Now that he was back, he could do it once again, and this time Roxas had grown and was much more talkative.

When he got down to the Grey Room he heard what he expected yet didn't at the same time. Axel had paired him up with Roxas for the mission for today. There wasn't an exact reason as to why Axel said this, but from what Saix could tell was that he wanted to make sure that he still knew his stuff. Pairing him with Roxas for a mission was probably the best way to test that out in the field as opposed to any of the other remaining members.

When Roxas finally came along into the Grey Room, Saix made his way over to him. "Roxas, it seems today we've been paired up together for your missing."

"Wait? Really? But didn't you just get back? Should they let you rest or something?" Roxas asked curiously.

Saix chuckled softly. "It would be nice if things could be easy like that, but I'm afraid not. They want to make sure I am still good in the field after being away for so long. Putting me on a mission right away is the best way to test that."

"Oh, I suppose you're right. But hey! That means we get more time to catch up again, and go on a mission like we used to," Roxas started smiling at the news.

"That will be a good positive of this. I'll be waiting for when you are ready," Saix replied.

While Saix saw Roxas getting ready, Axel walked up to him. "Think you can handle a mission like this? I know it's been a while, but I'm sure you haven't forgotten the ropes."

"Of course, it's nothing out of the ordinary. I was not the one who lost my memories at Castle Oblivion after all," Saix muttered in return.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just making sure," Axel replied. "At least you won't have to do all the work now that zombie boy has improved a little."

Saix breathed out slowly, trying his hardest not to make a retort to Axel. He was growing tired of Axel's use of a demeaning nickname for Roxas. In fact he had already been tired of it since the moment Axel first started using it even when Roxas truly was zombie-like. But still, to argue against Axel on his choice of nicknames was not a good choice. As much as Saix wanted to speak out on it, he kept it to himself.

After Roxas was ready, the two of them left for their destination, Agrabah. It all started off as a normal mission, or at least it was supposed to. They were just supposed to be collecting hearts from the Heartless, but before they could start on it, someone else came into the area.

Whomever it was was muttering aloud to themselves, talking about a lamp and something else about it granting wishes. All of it rang very suspicious to Saix, and once the strange man had left the area, he came to a decision. "Roxas, I believe we should follow after him."

"What? Why? Wouldn't that be going against what our mission is supposed to be?"

"Not entirely. As long as we do complete our mission by the end of the day it doesn't matter what we do in between. Besides, I have a feeling that man is not from around here."

"You mean…?"

Saix nodded. "He is from another world like us. It is clear that he doesn't fit in here… that part is very clear. And if we can gather some worthwhile information on him, it could prove to help us at some point."

"If you say so. I guess you are right though, we can still collect hearts as we follow him right? Or at least afterwards?" Roxas asked.

"Correct. But I believe for now it would be best to lay low and quiet, otherwise he may see us."

"Right."

They followed the strange man all the way out of the city and into the dessert. Out there they saw him come to a large cave entrance that had the head of a tiger. It was rather impressive to see just out in the middle of the desert, but it left so many questions.

"I didn't expect that to be here. How do you think it stays all detailed like that?"

"I would not know. Perhaps it is just one of the special things about this world," Saix answered.

"You think so?" Roxas asked as he looked over to Saix.

"Yes," Saix answered with a nod. "Though I think this is as far as we should go for today. This cave will most definitely need to be reported in, but explored another time. But it should hopefully be a well worth find."

"All right, so now we can get back to the real mission?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Saix said, though he kept his eyes on the cave entrance. "Though a small look inside wouldn't be too bad, right?"

Roxas smiled. "Since when did you want to go off from the mission so much?"

"I sometimes find myself very curious to explore mysterious places. Doesn't everyone?" Saix replied, giving a small smile in return.

"Yeah, let's go then."

The two proceeded into the cave and as they expected, they found some Heartless roaming about. The room of the cave they were in was small and didn't seem to have much else in it. Though they looked around until they found some pillars that hid pull switches, from there they entered another room that was still filled with Heartless.

As they fought, Saix watched Roxas carefully. Not only to make sure he was handling the Heartless, but to also study his fighting techniques. Since his meeting with Sora, Saix had become more curious about the differences and similarities between the two.

The two of them sure did have a similar way of fighting, but Roxas had started to develop his own way to go about things. While Sora seemed to be fairly good between magic and using the keyblade, Roxas mainly used the keyblade. He would create a series of attacks and moves when attacking groups of Heartless or even a single one.

Once the quota was filled they turned around and headed back, but made sure to keep note of everything that they had discovered in the cave. Now done with their missions they left Agrabah and headed right over to Twilight Town for their ice cream.

"You've improved a lot, I'm very impressed," Saix replied. "Though I know it is just due to time and you working hard, but I do see the change in you since your first few days."

"Thanks," Roxas replied before biting into his ice cream. "I guess I see a change in you too."

"Hm? What do you mean by that?" Saix asked, not exactly sure what Roxas meant. Was there some change or was Roxas just more aware of him now than before?

"Well I mean, you seem more relaxed than what I remember from before. And a bit more talkative, or curious or something. I don't really know what I meant…" Roxas trailed off after letting out a sigh.

"Oh, it's all right Roxas, I think I may understand what you are trying to get at. I think my trip to Castle Oblivion proved to be educational for myself in ways I hadn't really realized."

"Huh? How so? Can you tell me anything about it?" Roxas asked quickly, suddenly seeming curious about it.

"Ah… I am afraid not. It is still highly confidential," Saxi said.

"Oh… okay, I understand," Roxas replied a bit solemnly.

In truth, Saix wished he could talk to Roxas about it. There were a lot of things that had happened that he would have liked to explain to another. There was Axel… but parts with Namine and the other children still would have to be left out. If he could tell Roxas about it, Saix wondered how he would react. If he were to tell him about Sora, would it cause some stir in memories for Roxas? Or would he be confused about it? The more Saix thought about it, the more questions started to form. So he tried his hardest to push them away before they grew to be too much.

Roxas spoke up again after a few more bites of ice cream. "But I know at least you made it back. I'm still really glad you weren't terminated."

Saic couldn't help but chuckle a little. "I am glad as well for that. Now didn't you say that Xion was going to come up here some time?"

"Yeah… but I guess she isn't coming today," Roxas replied before sighing slightly.

"I suppose not, but there is always tomorrow, right?" Saix asked.

"Yeah, maybe she will be back tomorrow."

"Let's hope for the best," Saix said before he finished his ice cream.

Once they had finished, the two of them returned back to the castle. With their reports finished up they handed them to Axel and began to head off. Just before Saix could leave the Grey Room, Axel placed a hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"Hey quick thing, tomorrow at some point I will need you to fill out more paperwork for Castle Oblivion. Just some more details on things from what you know, okay?"

"All right then, if that is the case. What is there though? I thought I detailed out as much as I could."

"Yeah I know you did, but Xemnas just wants a little more about where you searched and for how long when looking for the chamber. That's all he really cares about right now. I'll give you the papers sometime tomorrow, okay?"

Saix nodded. "Okay, I understand."

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 72**

_Saix and I went to Agrabah today. We were going to have a normal mission, but then it kind of went off differently. But it was a good kind of different case I got to see that Saix actually can be curious sometimes. He seems a lot more different though since coming back from Castle Oblivion, I just can't explain it. But there is some change in him, I think, but I think it is a good change… whatever it is._

_But today it was just the two of us for ice cream._

_I wonder when Xion can join us and the three of us can ice cream together._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_It's hard to begin to explain the thoughts on the matter. So much has happened within only a few short months, yet it also feels like no time at all. Still at the same time whether the time flow is fast or slow, things have changed._

_The years of being here, I never could find much conversation with other members. Nothing ever felt right to get into anything that was a serious talk. Aside from Lea, I would keep to myself on things. But now even he seems too far to really talk to about things… but perhaps that is just how we are as Nobodies. We are distant and quiet over things that would normally evoke emotion._

_But Roxas… is different. He will say what is on his mind when he wants to. Maybe it is because he is still young in terms of a Nobody, or perhaps given the technicality of him being Sora's Nobody, it makes him rather special._

_I am not exactly sure which would be more plausible. For all I know it could be a barrage of choices. But maybe one day I could find out._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This here is one of my favorite chapters for a good reason. There is a scene in it that I wrote months in advance and finally here was where I got to use it.

When Saix made his way to the Grey Room the next morning, he expected Axel to give him the necessary paperwork, but Axel was currently busy filling out something else at the time. So Saix decided to wait until Axel was free enough to give him what he needed.

He walked over to the couch and sat down as he began his wait. Time passed quick enough and soon Roxas strolled into the room.

Roxas started the look around, seeing the other members at the couches and chairs, but he started to look a little worried. Once he was done looking around he walked over to Saix. "Hey Saix, how long have you been in here?"

"Not too long. Why? Is something on your mind?" Saix asked, sitting up a little.

"Yeah… I haven't seen Xion at all. I was wondering if maybe she came in earlier for her mission."

"Hm, I am sorry I haven't seen her today. In fact, I haven't seen her at all since returning."

Roxas frowned. Lowered his head he let out a loud sigh. "I actually haven't seen in a while. I think about ten days."

Saix raised his eyebrow to this. "Ten days? That is an awful long time to be gone on a mission. I can assume you don't know where she had gone off too?"

"No, I didn't. But I just wish she was here. I gave her a promise that she could join us for ice cream when you returned. Now you are back and she is missing…"

"That is quite concerning. I do wonder where she could be then."

"I want to ask Axel if he knows anything… but you know… it's Axel. If I try to ask him he will just yell at me again," Roxas replied as he subconsciously started to rub his wrist.

From that small motion, Saix took a guess that Axel may had done a bit of his 'light threatening' to Roaxs beforehand. With Axel currently in the room, Saix knew he couldn't go and ask Roxas what had happened. It would have to be saved for a later time to see just how much Axel had done since he was gone.

"If you would like, I could try asking Axel for you. I don't know how much I could get from him, but I can see what I can do. Xion is a member of the Organization as well as your friend, so you should get to know where she is," Saix stated.

Roxas's eyes started to lighten up. "Really? You could do that?"

"I shall try my best to," Saix answered. "I can't guarantee I will get a direct answer, but hopefully there will be something."

"Thanks, Saix. So are we on a mission together?"

"Sadly no, I have to stick around to help with some extra paperwork left over from Castle Oblivion. I am just waiting for Axel to be done with what he is doing before I can do it."

Roxas was about to reply, but instead a different voice ranged out across the room. "Roxas! Get your ass over here! You can sit and chit chat another time, but right now you have a mission to do."

Roxas flinched from Axel's voice. He sighed again before looking to Saix. "I guess we will talk after work."

Saix nodded to Roxas before the boy walked brisky up to Axel, who was giving him a cold and annoyed stare. After explaining briefly that Roxas would be going to a new world, he handed him the papers he needed. Roxas looked to Saix and gave a slight wave before he left through a dark corridor.

Now that Roxas had left and Axel seemed to be free from filling out paperwork, Saix made his way over to him. "So, about that paperwork you mentioned?"

"Yeah, I know. I'll get that to you later today. Need to take care of some other things first," Axel replied, not even looking up from his clipboard.

"There is something I wanted to ask you though," Saix continued. "It's about the fourteenth member, Xion."

Axel finally looked up, narrowing his eyes. "And why would you be wondering about the mask head?"

"Because Roxas said she hasn't reported back in ten days. Have the Dusks not located her yet?"

"She never returned from her mission obviously. The Dusks have looked, but nothing as of yet, not that I'm surprised that she's failed. Suppose to handle her own missions yet just up and vanished. If she ever does come back, I feel I'll have to have a long discussion with her," Axel replied before chuckling slightly.

"Is it possible then that I could go out looking for her? Perhaps tomorrow if I am not going on another other mission," Saix said, hoping Axel would listen.

"Again I ask why you think it is any of your business? What does it really matter to you if she is missing?" Axel asked, his eyes staying narrowed.

"Because Roxas is concerned where she is, and I want to make sure I can help as much as possible."

"Ha! Concerned? That's a laugh. Like he actually could feel concerned," Axel laughed. "Even if he did have a heart I wouldn't understand why he would care for some no face mask head."

Saix straightened up, breathing out slowly before he finally spoke. "He can choose whatever he wants, and if he has made friends with the other one who wields the keyblade, then he may do so. If he wants to pretend to feel concern or have phantom memories of what it was like, there never is anything wrong with that."

Axel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sure, fine. Whatever. Don't lecture my ears off on stupid explations I don't care about."

"Then what about my request?"

Axel sighed again, flipping through some papers. "If you really want to waste your day on a search, then fine you can do that with zombie boy."

Saix nodded his head in thanks. "And so for now I am free to do as I want until you get me the paperwork I assume?"

"Yeah, I'll get it to you later. You just do whatever you want," Axel said as he started to make notes in his papers.

Saxi took his leave from the Grey Room after that. He wasn't entirely sure what he would do in his free time, but he was sure he could find some. Though he had a feeling most of it would be spending time alone reading or at least wandering the halls lost in his thoughts. Either option left him to be alone, but he didn't really mind. He knew that by the evening he would go out to see Roxas and tell him the good news.

* * *

When the evening came, Axel still had not shown up to hand Saix the paperwork. Saix thought to go out and look for where Axel was, but he figured that there must have been more important things happening.

" _I suppose I will have to get to the paperwork later tonight or another day,"_ Saix thought to himself as he stood up from his bed, ready to head out.

Just as he was about to leave, a dark corridor appeared in his room and Axel stepped out. "Ah, there you are Saix. I got the paperwork ready for you now." He held a stack of papers in his hand before holding them out to Saix.

"Now?" Saix questioned without thinking.

"Yeah now. Now is better than later and it is best to get this stuff cleared up and out of the way. I would prefer it that way as soon as possible. So here it is, better get to it," Axel stated as Saix took the papers from him.

Saix looked down at the paperwork, no doubt it would take him a few hours to write out what was needed. On top of that, with Axel asking for him to get to it now, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it later. Axel wanted it done now, and that meant now… and that also meant missing his time to go for ice cream.

"Why the somber face, Saix?" Axel asked. "Do you not want to do you job or something?"

There was a taunting tone in his voice, one that made Saix feel a little unsettled. Either way he had to answer Axel. "No, it isn't that, but I just did not expect you to bring it to me this late."

"Why should it matter when I bring it to you?" Axel asked, crossing his arms as he stepped a little closer. A rather sarcastic expression appeared on his face while looking directly at Saix. "Do you have somewhere more important to be?"

Saix's eyes widened. " _So he knew that I was going to go out to Twilight Town to have ice cream. Of course he would know… I would hope he hasn't forgotten. But why would he be trying to stop me from going? It feels as if he purposely wanted to come at this time…"_

"Work is work, Saix. Doesn't matter the time. Just get it done and return it to me tonight, okay?"

Saix sighed before nooded. "Understood."

"Good. I'll see you later then."

Axel had left the room, leaving Saix to his own thoughts again. He couldn't help shake the thought that Axel had waited all day until this time to give the paperwork to him. It just seemed odd, but the way Axel spoke, with the tone of his voice, it said it all. But there was no use trying to fight that. Saix knew better than that.

" _Might as well get started on it,"_ Saix sighed to himself as he went to sit at his desk. " _I'm sorry Roxas I won't be able to make it today."_

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 73**

_After finishing my mission for today, I hoped today could be the day that the three of us could have ice cream. Even with that hope, Xion still didn't show up. It's been ten days and I haven't seen her. Saix said he hadn't seen her either, but he was going to try and ask Axel. I hope that he can find something out._

_Speaking of Saix, he didn't come to the clock tower today… I wonder what happened._

* * *

Night had come when Saix finished up the paperwork. As he expected, it did take him some time to finish it up. But it was finished now and he hoped that was the last of it. Now all he had to do was turn it in. It was past midnight at this point, but even though it was late at night, Axel would be awake. With being the second in command there were many nights were he had stayed up late working.

But what he didn't know was what was going on over with Axel at that very moment.

* * *

Axel opened his eyes to find himself in a black void. There was nothing around him or anything in sight. It was just darkness. It was a dark void all around him, there was no sky or ground, just darkness.

Something was there though, but he could barely see it. Looking closely and carefully, he could see he was standing on a stained glass pathway. Though there was no light coming through it, making it seem dull, faded looking, and dark. Axel looked around a little more and after looking for a bit he could see something far off in the distance.

A small bit of light shined far away from where Axel was standing. Something about the tiny bit of light seemed comforting… and familiar. Axel slowly started to move in the direction of the light.

But as soon as he took a step forward, the stained glass pathway beneath him became darkness and his feet began to sink into it. There was no longer the feeling of standing on glass, instead it became soft and liquidy darkness, and Axel was beginning to sink into what felt like black, ink-like, quicksand.

Axel gasped as he tried to pull his legs out of the darkness, but the more he struggled the more he began to sink further into the pool of darkness. Soon it was up to his knees and Axel still was continuing to sink further down. It almost felt like the darkness had grabbed his legs and was pulling him down into it.

Axel frantically looked around, hoping that there would be something, anything, for him to grab onto, but still the only thing he saw was darkness. Axel then noticed the light off in the distance again.

That light, he needed to get to it. He didn't know why, but he knew it was important and that he needed to get over there.

He started to try and wade his way through the darkness, struggling his way through the inky blackness, even though he still was slowly sinking into it. It was now almost up to his hips. He knew he was sinking, but if he could just make it to that light, he felt like everything would be all right. He felt that if he could get there, he could be safe.

As he continued to make his way across the darkness, he started to feel some type of solid ground within the darkness. Axel wanted to figure that it was the stained glass platform again, as he could see some of it just outside of the darkness that he was sinking into. It started to bring a little hope to himself. He was getting closer to the light. He could make it.

As fast as he could, he tried to run, trying to get out of the darkness quicksand.

He managed to get out of the darkness and started to run towards the light. He was getting near when suddenly something wrapped around his legs and brought him crashing to the ground. When Axel looked back he saw that vines of solid darkness had wrapped around his legs, and the vines were slowly pulling back towards the darkness.

"No!" Axel shouted as he tried to stand up, but more vines came and wrapped around his legs, making it impossible to get up. Axel continued to try though, trying to force himself to stand up again. But each time he tried to move vines came and wrapped around his body. Holding him down tightly.

"No! Let me go!" Axel screamed out as he struggled against the vines. "Someone help!"

Axel looked in the direction of the light again, it was getting farther away and now its light looked much dimmer. Axel couldn't give up though. He needed to reach that light. He knew he had to. Axel tried to claw his way out of the darkness as he screamed for help again, but the vines tightened again, making him unable to move.

Axel felt his feet being pulled back into the inky pool of darkness. He tried struggling again against the vines, but it had no effect. Axel began to panic as he felt the darkness reach his legs once more. Axel looked around frantically, pleading for something or anything, but now he couldn't see the little light.

He was now in complete darkness.

"Anyone! Please help!" He shouted again, hoping, pleading, that someone would hear him.

He was now up to his chest in the darkness. As he sunk he almost swore he could hear a faint voice coming from somewhere. He couldn't make out what they were saying though. "Someone sav-" Axel was unable to finish his cry as he had finally sunk deep enough into the darkness that it now covered his mouth.

He tried to hold his breath, but the darkness flowed into his mouth, into his body. It burned as it overflowed him. He tried to scream out one last time, before everything became completely pitch black.

* * *

Saix finally made it over to Axel's room and without knocking he headed inside. Now that he was in Axel's room, he saw the redhead fast asleep at his desk, surrounded by piles of paperwork. At first Saix just thought of leaving the papers at Axel's desk so he wouldn't wake him up, but upon walking up to the desk, he noticed Axel's face.

Not only was Axel's face scrunched up, looking scared and in pain, but he also looked pale and drained. It was hard to tell but he was possibly even sweating a little. Soon his hands began to tremble as his breathing started to pick up and he was now breathing quickly and heavily.

Saix stared with confusion and concern for a moment before calling out to Axel. "Axel! Axel wake up!" Saix shouted in a hushed voice, but Axel didn't wake up, only continued to breathe heavily as he gritted his teeth.

"Axel!" Saix shouted once again, a little louder this time.

Axel's amber eyes suddenly shot open and quickly sat up straight. He stared at the wall in front of him as he continued his deep, heavy breathing. But after about a minute his breathing finally slowed and returned to normal.

Axel looked over at Saix, then at his clock, and then back at Saix again. "Saix. What are you doing here this late?"

"I came to hand in the extra paperwork, remember? But you are okay?" Saix asked as he placed the paperwork on the desk.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

Saix remained quiet as he thought over how to phrase his answer. It did make him wonder a lot that Axel didn't seem to know what he was talking about. A moment later he finally gave his answer. "You were asleep when I came and it looked like you were having some sort of nightmare. I was concerned if you were all right."

"Ha, yeah right," Axel laughed as he leaned back in his chair. "Whatever it was, it wasn't very important 'cause I sure don't remember dreaming anything. It's probably just because of all the paperwork and stuff. It can be overwhelming at times. Thanks for the 'concern' though." Axel chuckled again as he put air quotes around 'concern', just to emphasize that that they didn't have hearts and 'concern' wasn't something they were actually capable of.

"Now I need to go finish up as I was doing before I dozed off. You can go now." Axel said as he looked down at the paperwork. "Thanks for finishing it up though. Really big help."

Saix opened his mouth to speak, wanting to ask Axel more questions, but the man had already gone back to writing on his papers. Seeing that there was no more point to try and ask, Saix sighed and left, not even giving a goodbye or goodnight. Not that Axel was going to stop him and ask about that or even give one in return. Saix couldn't even remember the last time Axel had ever properly said goodbye or goodnight to him, and he wasn;t sure if he would ever hear it again.

* * *

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Today did not go exactly how I had hoped it would. It felt like Axel deliberately waiting on giving me the paperwork until evening, the very time that I would leave to go to Twilight Town for ice cream with Roxas. I can't understand why he would do that though, it just seems strange. Maybe… it would have to do with before, but even then I am unsure if asking him about that would really do anything worthwhile._

_But on a different note, when I gave Axel his paperwork, there was something odd, He was sleeping and seemed to be tapped in what I could only assume was a nightmare. Though when I woke him and confronted him, he recalled no such thing. I know it is possible to not remember one's dreams, but forgetting everything about it seconds after waking… I don't know. It isn't my level of knowledge to understand how dreams work. But whatever it was… it really did seem to make him look upset. I suppose in dreams we can remember emotions better and even if we aren't feeling them, they can be displayed. I just wish I knew what it meant._


	15. Chapter 15

The next day came as it always did and Roxas made his way down to the Grey Room. He yawned upon entering, before his eyes fell to where Saix stood. His friend quickly made his way over seconds later.

"Roxas, I'm sorry I was unable to make it yesterday for ice cream. That extra paperwork I mentioned yesterday… I ended up having to fill it out at the last minute," Saix said, starting off the conversation.

"Oh… Yeah I was wondering about that, but is everything okay now?"

Saix nodded. "As far as I know it should be. On a brighter note, I did get the information that you needed about Xion."

Roxas's eyes lit up a little. "And what did you find out?"

"Xion never returned from her mission, I do not know much more than that, sadly."

"She didn't return? Is it just a really long mission then?"

"I do not think so, I believe something must have gone wrong. You do not need to worry though, Roxas. I managed to convince Axel to also let us go out today on a mission to find her."

"Whoa, really? Axel actually said we could?"

"Yeah, so let's get going before he decides to change his mind on us, okay?"

"Right," Roxas said as he went to prepare his stuff for the mission.

Once he was ready he walked back up to Saix. "Where are we going to check though."

"Twilight Town," Saix answered simply.

The two of them walked up to Axel, who gave a quick scowl. "Yeah, whatever. You two get this day to look for Xion, that's it. I honestly could care less, but Xemnas actually wants her back, so you two better do your job and find her."

"Understood," Saxi replied before he left the Grey Room with Roxas.

The two of them entered onto the side street of Twilight Town. Once there Saix looked over the information he had been given. "What we know about Xion's mission was that she was supposed to take out a big Heartless. The only issue is the mission report doesn't specify where the Heartless was spotted."

"I guess that means we need to start looking around?"

"Exactly. Keep an eye out for Heartless, any of them could lead us to the main target."

"Okay, I got it. I hope we can find her soon."

"Agreed."

They made their way around, investigated as much as they could. Though nothing seemed to come up in their search. Eventually they were in the sandlot area where they overheard some kid from Twilight Town talking.

It was not what Saix intended to do, but they overheard something that he figured may actually be helpful. It was at least something to go off at the start, though Saix remained skeptical. All the children had talked about had been something about strange sounds from somewhere in the tunnels beneath the town.

"Should we really be listening to them?" Roxas asked quietly as they watched the kids walk somewhere else.

"It may seem like we are eavesdropping, but sometimes it is a necessity when needing information," Saix replied. "And with what they said we better investigate."

The two of them started walking towards the tunnels, where the children had said they had been hearing the strange sounds. Roxas cleared his throat once they entered and headed down to look around. "You think it could really be something? Like Xion maybe?"

"Sound can be tricky and with a place like a tunnel, it can easily be warped. We could just be wasting our time, but it is better to at least check."

When they got down there they ended up not finding anything, other than another boy from Twilight Town, who seemed to be doing some investigation of his own. Saix made sure not to talk too much, as they didn't want to be wasting too much time. He didn't seem to suspect the two of them anyways, too caught up in whatever he was doing down there. Either way, there was nothing down there for the two of them as Saix had suspected, so they moved on to check somewhere else in the town.

They walked all over the main area of Twilight Town, searching every nook and cranny that they could, but other than a few small Heartless here and there, they had nothing else. No signs of Xion or a large Heartless anywhere to be found.

Roxas sighed as they made their way around again. It was loud enough that it caught Saix's attention, though he felt like Roxas wasn't meaning for that to happen. Either way he saw that he needed to try and say something to keep Roxas from giving up.

"Twilight Town is a large place with many hidden areas, there is much more to explore, Roxas. Besides, we have the entire day to search."

"But, what if we don't find her?"

"We won't let that happen. Our goal is to find her, and I will make sure that we will," Saix replied. "Try to keep your optimism up, Roxas. Understand?"

"I think so," Roxas said before nodding. He was happy that Saix was here to help look for Xion. He knew for a fact he would have been completely lost without him, not knowing where to look or who to listen to.

After they explored some more, they came across the same children before, and once again they overheard some information that they thought could be helpful. Deciding to investigate more about the children, they went to where the kids seemed to have an area that they hung out.

Saix found it amusing that the children would speak aloud about such a place that seemed like a secret to everyone else, but then again he remembered he was like that as a child. Faint memories danced around in his head as he headed to the side street with Roxas. He remembered the years when he was young and held secret meetings with Lea. How they thought they were so secretive in the areas they hid. Now that he was older, he was sure that someone must have seen them overheard at some point.

Either way the information they heard led them back to the boy they had met in the tunnels, who's name was Pence. Though Saix still wasn't too keen on talking, he had the feeling that this kid would know something, since he did explain he liked to investigate the town.

Once Pence left the area, Roxas looked to Saix. "You really think anything he said was helpful? It didn't really sound like it to me."

"Think carefully Roxas," Saix instructed. "He talked about something that was in the woods outside of town. We have only been looking _in_ town. We didn't even consider the outside of it. Heartless do not always have to be in a populated area, some of them prefer to be hidden away where not many people will find them."

"So you think it could be Xion's target?"

"We won't know until we try."

Picking up their pace the two of them headed into the woods that were just outside of Twilight Town. Saix put a finger to his mouth as he glanced at Roxas. Quietly the two of them moved forward, noticing that there was a tree that was losing an awful lot of leaves opposed to others.

Before they could get too close, something moved in the trees to the ground, causing the two of them to stagger back slightly. Despite feeling like there was something there, it was nearly impossible to see. Only faint reflections of light gave away that there was in fact something in front of them, and now that something was moving further up into the forest.

"Quickly! We need to make sure it doesn't escape!" Saix said as he summoned his claymore and ran ahead.

"Right!" Roxas shouted as he followed.

They chased it all the way up to the front gate of the old mansion. Now cornered the invisible creature came into sight, and then it all made sense. It was in fact a Heartless, but it looked very much like a lizard or some other type of reptile.

"Of course," Saix muttered. "It has a camouflage. This is most likely why Xion wasn't able to defeat it."

"You think so? Does that mean Xion is still out there looking for it?"

"Most likely, but now we have an extra task on our hands. Take out the target Heartless before it decides to hide again," Saix said before lunging forward to strike at the Heartless.

They began to fight the Heartless, which proved to be a little harder than originally expected. Occasionally the Heartless did use its camouflage to hide from them, but rather than running it instead snuck up to attack.

Saix was sure that it wouldn't take much longer, but then he caught something in the corner of his eye. Something was running out from a section of the forest. It was a blur of black and it was running right towards the Heartless.

Before Saix xould take a moment to really focus, Roxas shouted aloud. "Xion!"

Saix eyes widened. He could see it was in fact Xion, and she was trying to get near the Heartless. But… she had no weapon in her hand! " _Just what is she thinking?"_

Unfortunately Xion stopped to turn to see them. In her surprise the Heartless prepared another attack from behind her. Saix knew he would have to move fast if he wanted to prevent anything from happening.

Without missing a beat he sped to her side and swung the claymore up into a defensive position. The tongue of the Heartless clashed against the claymore and then it backed up, not looking happy that the attack had been stopped.

"Get to a safe spot away from the Heartless," Saix instructed to Xion without even giving a glance to her. "Wait until we are done with it."

He didn't even wait for Xion to give an answer before he went back to attacking the Heartless. Roxas came seconds later delivering several more blows. It only took a few more minutes before the Heartless collapsed and was defeated.

Now that it was over, Roxas ran over to Xion, who had thankfully listened to Saix and moved out of the way. "Xion! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" Xion answered softly. "Thank you for coming. It's just…"

"Hold your thoughts for now Xion," Saix said, looking at the hooded member. "Let's move to someplace better to talk."

"To the clock tower for ice cream!" Roxas said, beaming happily.

* * *

When they got up to the clock tower, Saix let Roxas and Xion sit down first before he handed them the ice cream. When he gave one to Xion, she thanked him quietly but made no attempt to give any eye contact.

Saix then proceeded to take his seat and eat his ice cream like normal. No conversation started up, but it was what he expected… mostly. When he was here with Roxas they would talk when they wanted to. They didn't have to have a long and deep conversation, and usually they didn't. Something short and simple had always been enough for them.

But now that Xion was here… the silence felt off, and she sat there, not wanting to look at either of them. She only stared down at her ice cream, watching it slowly melt.

"Hey, eat up. It's going to melt otherwise," Roxas said once he noticed Xion's quietness.

"I know…"

"Well, don't you wanna eat it?" Roxa then asked. "I thought that was what we were all going to do, remember?"

Xion didn't answer and continued to stare at her melting ice cream.

"Roxas," Saix said, clearing his throat. "If Xion doesn't want to talk, you don't push her to do so."

"But I'm just wondering," Roxas replied.

"I know Roxas, but you need to not over do it." Saix then looked over at Xion. "I know you probably have been through a lot Xion, and we are here for you if you need us. But if you aren't ready to talk about it, I completely understand."

Roxas stared at Saix and then to Xion. "Ah, I think I get it. Saix is right though, we are here for you. Just let us know, um, whenever you want that is."

"Thanks…" Xion said, coming out barely louder than a whisper. "I guess… I could talk about it…"

"While I will not push you to talk, it can be beneficial to get things off your chest. Talking things through can be enough to help," Saix said, continuingly to speak softly and calmly.

Xion breathed in deeply. She held her breath for a moment before exhaling. "I… I can't use the keyblade anymore. And without it… I can't do my job."

Saix stared long and hard as he processed the information that Xion had said. It only took him a few seconds before things began to click together. " _Ah… now it makes sense…"_

Though Saix could tell the subject was sensitive, he did want to talk to Xion about it. He had explained to her that she should talk it out after all, so he knew what he had to do. "And that is why I assume you haven't returned yet?"

"Yes… I need the keyblade to defeat the Heartless. Without it, the hearts just get released and find their way into other Heartless. I swat them in one place and they just pop up in another. I'm supposed to be collecting hearts. Those are my orders. Without the Keyblade… I'm useless."

Xion shuddered slightly before she continued to say more. "And I can't go back… Axel… he wouldn't be happy if I returned not being able to use the keyblade… he probably already is angry at me for not completing my mission."

"Oh…" Roxas said. "Yeah… Axel hasn't sounded too happy that you haven't come back yet."

Saix watched the expression of the two children. A gloomy and worrisome look filled their eyes while dwelling on the thought of Axel… and what he could do upon Xion returning. With Axel's unfortunate, somewhat sadistic tendencies, Saix could only imagine what would happen if Xion headed back and informed Axel of the truth. Though… honestly he would rather not try and think about that.

"Is there anything we can do?" Roxas asked.

Saix pulled himself from his thoughts and saw that Roxas was looking at him. He was looking at him for an answer to a rather hard situation. Saix breathed out slowly, taking in all the new thoughts now entering his mind.

" _He wants me to find a way to help, I understand that I am the only one here, but I don't know if I would be able to give something good enough…"_ Saix sighed again as he tried to think about what he was going to say. He knew there had to be some answers, some solutions, but he just couldn't figure it out.

"I'm afraid I am not too sure what can be done," Saix replied quietly. "This is a situation that I am not too familiar with. I'm sorry."

"But we can't just go back, we can't let Axel hurt Xion. Or at least I won't let him."

"No, I do agree we cannot go back empty handed," Saix said.

He wanted to say that he would try talking to Axel, try to talk to him to make sure that he wouldn't do anything too rash. Though he knew already that was too far out of the question at this point. There was hardly any way to truly reason with Axel and Saix actually still found himself surprised that he convinced him to go out on his mission with Roxas.

But that still left what he could do to help them. He _did_ want to help Xion. Despite just meeting her, he could tell that she meant well and wanted to try her best. Plus Roxas had made friends with her, he had progressed enough to do this all on his own and it did thoroughly impress Saix. He wanted to learn more about the two of them, being two young keyblade wielders in the Organization, but it wouldn't happen if they couldn't find an answer to all of this.

"Hmm…" Saix hummed as he continued to ponder. " _There must be some way around this. What possible way could there be though for her to get the keyblade back, or possibly find a way to convince Axel that she still… hold on."_

Saix straightened up as he faced the two of them. "I do have an idea, though I am not sure how well it would work. But there is no harm in trying, at least I hope there won't be."

"Well what it is?" Roxas asked quickly.

"Patience Roxas, let me finish," Saix said, trying not to smile at the sudden energy that Roxas had towards an idea he had no context about. "The idea is simple enough for the two of you and I feel that you could pull it off that not even Axel would catch on."

At least he hoped dearly that Axel wouldn't.

"What I have is this… you must work together on missions. Staying side by side and see if that could help get the keyblade back to you, Xion. Though for you Roxas, this would mean that you would need to collect double the amount of hearts you normally would so it would seem like you two are just casually working together."

"But… how we are going to get Axel to let us do that?" Xion asked in a quiet voice. It was clear that she didn't have much confidence in the idea Saix had proposed. "He doesn't seem super willing to listen to others on what they want to do…"

"That is true…" Saix said, reconsidering the plan. "But this is the only way that I can see working without Axel finding out. I… I can try to talk to him and see if I can convince him. If I try, I am sure I can figure out a way to word it so he will let you two stick together."

"All right! Then it sounds good!" Roxas said, starting to sound more cheerful than before.

"But, are you sure Roxas? Having to do twice the amount of work because of me?"

"It's fine!" Roxas said quickly. "I want to help you Xion with this and find a way for you to use the keyblade again."

"But… if Axel finds out what we would be doing… wouldn't he be angry? What if he…"

"Xion," Saix interjected. "I understand your fear and worries about the situation, but I promise that I will do whatever I can to make sure that Axel doesn't find out about this. You don't have to worry, okay?"

Xion sighed, letting out a long breath. She stared over at him and then to her ice cream. "Thank you Saix…"

"It's all right, Xion. When put into tough situations, friends need to help each other out as much as they can."

Saix was just saying it to try and ease her tension, but when he did say it, he felt something. Not truly feeling, but more of something in the back of his mind was poking around. Why was his mind making him feel or think this after he said it? He couldn't figure it out. Either way he tried to shove it away and went back to taking a bit of his ice cream.

"Oh… So we can… I can be your friend, Saix?"

Saix stopped eating his ice cream, still staring down at it. He knew that Roxas had wanted the three of them to be friends, but the thought had slipped his mind until now. But he never was going to disregard the thought, he wanted to make sure Roxas felt happy, or felt it was much as Nobody could imagine it.

Saix nodded after a moment. "Yes, that's perfectly fine with me."

"Thank you again, Saix," Xion said, sounding much happier than before. "And thank you too Roxas. Thank you both."

Saix turned to tell her that she was welcome when he stopped and started instead. What he saw wasn't what he was expecting at all. " _When did she… take off her hood. Must have been when I looked away… but her appearance… intriguing."_

Saix finally cleared his throat. "No need to thank me, just make sure to eat your ice cream before it melts any further."

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 74**

_Today my job was to go with Saix to look for Xion. He managed to find out that she had gone missing on her mission, but we managed to find her._

_We finally got to have ice cream together, and it was nice. I'm glad we finally got to sit up there together and talk, but Xion can't seem to use her keyblade anymore. Saix had an idea though how to work things out without Axel finding out. Xion and I will go on missions together until she can use the keyblade again… I just hope Axel doesn't find out. But Saix said he would do what he could to make sure that doesn't happen._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_There are many things I have questioned before, but I choose not to truly think about them because I didn't see much of a reason to do so. Xion was one of them. Roxas seemed rather, as I could say, excited for me to meet her and have the three of us go to the clock tower. I tried to think of Xion beforehand, but there was never much to go on considering how quiet she was at the start. She was like Roxas, but perhaps in need of more help. But now, it seems both of them have improved a lot since the early days since they joined._

_Today during our talk, Xion took her hood off and I was able to finally see her face. Perfectly normal appearance with nothing to hide, but the only thing is… she bears a rather similar appearance to Namine. Not down to the dot, but the same color of eyes and face, but hair and color are completely different. Still… quite puzzling and it makes me wonder…_

_Though on another note, now that I have helped the two come up with a plan… I need to find a plan for myself to convince Axel of it. I know it will be hard, but there has to be a way to do it. When the three of us got back Axel was waiting for us… wanted to talk to Xion alone. I wanted to oppose it and tell him right then and there, but he seemed to not even care to listen. I can only hope he talked and nothing further… I hope Xion is all right. Maybe I should have tried to do more… maybe for next time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like to make Saix write a lot in his diary don't I? Lol, I just feel like he is the type to really ramble out a lot of thoughts if he has them.


	16. Chapter 16

Morning had come and Saix woke up easily and prepared himself for the day. Right away he made it down to the Grey Room, wanting to talk to Axel as soon as possible. He knew that it would be extremely hard no matter how he tried to propose the idea to Axel. Thankfully he could keep a straight face while doing it. While Axel may have been good at picking up lies from other members, Saix knew how to keep calm and give way what he wanted to keep secret.

Axel stood in the room as he always did, reading over his papers, he didn't even look up to acknowledge Saix. Saix stared for a moment, he had thought of the idea of talking to Axel right away, but the longer he thought about it, Saix decided he would wait for Xion and Roxas to show up. That way he could make sure that Axel would agree once Saix hopefully managed to convince him. It was still a large hope.

"So you're just going to sit here now rather than coming to receive your mission at the start?"

Saix turned to see Axel standing to the side of the couch, giving one of his cold stares. Saix only shrugged slightly. "Does it matter if I do not leave right away? I assume I must have some job to do today if you are telling that."

"No you don't actually have anything of dire importance, but this isn't like you. I know you just got back a couple of days ago from Castle Oblivion, but I assumed that your time there wasn't enough to make you forget how things are run around here and how you used to be the most on top of it all."

"A member can sit and relax here before heading out on their mission or whatever task you give them. If I choose to sit and wait for a short bit before I do anything, I am very well allowed to be, aren't I?" Saix asked.

"Hmph," Axel grumbled. "It just isn't like how you were before. I expected you to come back and still be quick and on top of everything."

Saix had the slight temptation to make a remark on how things were 'before' and how Axel had drifted far from that mark. But like all the other times he chose to keep his mouth shut on the subject. "I will do as I please, Axel. You know regardless of how I may start the day, I will get my tasks done by the end of it."

Axel sneered before rolling his eyes. "Whatever. Just don't actually start to slack off. Out of everyone, you are the one who I prefer not to burn in an attempt to make you work harder."

"Thank you for the consideration," Saix replied dryly.

Axel walked away after that, not saying another word. He resumed his spot at the front of the Grey Room, looking back over the papers from before. It wasn't long before Xion and Roxas came into the room. Right away the two of them walked over to where Saix sat.

"Morning Saix," Xion replied polity.

Saix nodded slightly. "Good morning Xion." He then looked at Roxas. "And also good morning to you, Roxas." Roxas nodded in response after that.

"So…" Xion started, her voice growing quiet. "Are we really going to ask him?" Saix noted how Xion clasped her hands together tightly. They were trembling slightly, but if he had not been trying to look for something he wouldn't have noticed.

Saix reached forward, placing one of his hands over hers. "Xion, relax. We will all take to him, okay? I will be right beside you."

"Okay," Xion replied with the trembles coming to a stop.

"All right, c'mon," Roxas said before the three of them walked over to Axel.

As soon as they walked over there, he was already looking at them with heavy suspicion. "And just what is this all about?"

Roxas and Xion looked at each other, trying to figure out what to say. They may have talked about the idea with Saix, but they had never actually gotten as far as what they would say. Thankfully Saix stepped forward and spoke up for them.

"There was an idea that I ran by them the other day after we retrieved Xion. Since she had been out for some time, I thought it may be beneficial for the two of them to work together on some missions."

Axel scoffed. "You want them to work together?"

Xion nodded slightly. "That's what we were hoping for. Is… is it a problem?"

"I think it would be a major waste of time to our goals here. You really think it was a good idea to try and ask that? Or did all three of you forget that we have lost half our numbers? Not that the other members can really _do_ anything to collect hearts seeing as they don't have a keyblade."

"And if they are the only ones who can use the keyblade, so what if they are together? They can still get the work done while also keeping the other in check on their skills."

"That is true…" Axel said before his gaze fell to Xion. "I would hate to hear if either of you started slacking on your abilities." Axel began to chuckle. "If that were the case… then I would have to take some measures to… _help_ you remember what you may have forgotten. Honestly though, I still think it's a stupid idea."

"Axel," Saix said. "Why don't you at least give them a chance to prove they can do this work?"

"Yeah," Roxas agreed. "If you let us pair up, we can even take on tougher missions. We'd do it no problem."

"Oh?" Axel asked, clearly not buying Roxas's statement. "Is that so? You may have been here for a couple months now, but both of you are still two little zombies. I still don't think you'd be ready for tougher missions."

"We can do it!" Roxas replied quickly. "Just let us have a chance!"

Axel narrowed his eyes, looking over the three that stood before him. It was clear in his eyes that he was still not entirely on board with the suggested idea. But then he straightened up and chuckled again. "All right, fine. We'll see if you two can prove yourselves. But you know that means I expect double the work and more in the reports."

"I am sure that they will handle it," Saix said.

"Hey! I want to hear it from them first," Axel said, sending a quick glare to Saix. "Don't speak for the zombies." He then turned to Roxas and Xion, standing tall over them. "Well? You think you two can really be worth the effort of this stupid idea?"

"Yeah, we will, you'll see," Roxas said, keeping his expression calm and as serious as he could.

"Of course," Xion agreed, albeit her voice was a little softer. "We'll be worth it."

"Hmph, prove it then," Axel said before handing them the papers that held the contents of their mission. "And if you don't prove it… well… you will regret ever making the suggestion and wasting my time with it."

Roxas and Xion nodded but said nothing more to him. After that they met Saix by the portal to leave for their mission. "You guys will be able to manage this. Just do the best you can, okay?"

"Thank you, Saix," Xion whispered before she headed into the portal.

"Yeah, thanks," Roxas replied. "See you later."

Saix nodded before Roxas also headed off into the portal. He then walked over towards Axel, who still wore an expression of annoyance from before. "So did I actually have something to do today, or is something that is not of 'dire importance' really anything I need to worry about?"

"No, you don't actually have anything to do today."

"Then what was that whole speech before about me sitting around before coming to you to get my mission?"

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to slack off on me. I don't need another Demyx," Axel grumbled. "Also, you better not be trying to plant too many ideas and thoughts into the little zombies."

"Now what do you mean by that?" Saix asked. He could see there was something still in Axel's expression. Still something that was not at all trusting of anything that had just happened.

"They are meant to do as we say. They are just the little workers we need to complete the Organization's goals. Telling them they can work together and letting them do whatever they want isn't what I had in mind for them. They need to know their place and know what their job is. Can't have them getting too many free thinking thoughts."

"So you want to oppress them? Not give them any freedom?" Saix asked, almost finding himself annoyed by the fact that Axel would even hint at such a thing.

"Well I wouldn't exactly say 'opress' that just sounds too harsh," Axel said before laughing. "I'd say it is more of 'keeping them in line' if anything. And if they don't stay in that line… well we already know what would happen then."

"If that is what you say… and if there isn't any need for me to be here, then I will head out elsewhere to the castle," Saix said before turning around. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to stand being around Axel when he was like this. It was sickening to hear such cruel intentions come from someone who he used to call 'friend'.

Axel didn't bother stopping him, so Saix kept on walking until he was out of the Grey Room. Now that he was on his own heading down the hallway, he honestly had no idea what he was going to do for the rest of the day. His thoughts were now everywhere over so many thoughts, it was hard for him to keep a clear mind.

" _I suppose I should go and train to try and clear my mind… I should be able to occupy myself with that until later."_

Saix then headed off to where he could train in peace without having the worry of other members coming to bother him. Though he knew even if he was alone and training, Axel could still show up. He would show up anywhere, anytime uninvited without a word nowadays, and he was always ready to bring up some dark topic rather casually. It really all was stickening to Saix and he wished he could just find out why.

* * *

Later in the day Saix had trained and workout out enough as he saw fit. After that he went to relax on his own time seeing as he had nothing else to do for the day. Though he couldn't be too sure when Roxas and Xion would be back, he had his estimate of time. He headed out to Twilight Town to buy his ice cream and then to head to the clock tower to see if they had made it back yet.

To his surprise they were already there, eating their ice cream. He cleared his throat as he approached them. "Did everything go well on the mission?"

Xion nodded. "Yeah. I… I think this could actually work. Thanks, Saix. Both you and Roxas really are great."

Saix sat down before nodding. "I am glad to help out."

"I just hope that Axel doesn't find out or make us stop doing this…"

"I am sure that you two can keep it up. I believe in you two," Saix said, trying to sound encouraging. "But enough talk about that. Would you like to talk about your mission?"

"Yeah," Roxas said as he spoke up. "Xion and I went to where you and I went yesterday. The place with all the sand… um I think it was Agrabah?"

"Ah, the city in the desert. Hopefully there weren't too many problems this time around?" Saix asked.

"Sort of… we ran into some interesting characters this time," Xion replied.

Saix hummed softly as he listened before he looked over at Roxas. "Was it the one we encountered before?"

"Well yeah we ran into Pete again, but then there was someone else. This blue guy named Genie," Roxas explained. "He was really weird…"

"He was, but he sounded really worried about his friend… some guy named Al. But, I guess you can't always jump in and do everything for your friends… even if you want to," Xion said, sighing slightly.

Saix let out a sigh himself. He knew the more Xion and Roxas went out into other worlds, the more they would learn. Both of them still lacked so much basic knowledge and it didn't help that they were Nobodies, making it harder for them to understand. But if anything, Saix knew he could try and explain it to them as best as he could.

"It is understandable he made that choice. There are times when people need their time apart."

"So… why did Genie say he and Al were 'inseparable'?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah," Xion agreed. "It's not like they were joined at the hip."

Saix chuckled softly at their naive nature. They still had quite a lot to learn about the world and about everything else. "It is more of a symbolic term rather than literal. But even if two people are very close, they will still need their space from time to time, but in their minds they still are close such as that."

"Really?" Roaxs asked, looking curiously at Saix.

"Yes. That is how friends usually work, especially when they are close enough to be best friends which is what I assume Genie and Al are," Saix replied.

"What's it like having a best friend, Saix?"

Saix straightened up. Out of any question he thought Roxas would ask, that was not one of them. Thankfully being a Nobody, his emotions could not get in control of his mind. He could remain quiet and empty to the thought of it, even if it initially caught him off guard.

"I… I haven't thought about that for a long time," Saix replied solmely. Despite not feeling anything over the matter, there was still a bitter taste in his mouth. He looked down at this ice cream that he had been neglecting to eat. Slowly he took a few bites while trying to finish what he had started to tell Roxas and Xion. "My best friend… To be honest I haven't seen him in years."

Roxas lowered his head. "Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's all right Roxas," Saix said. "I haven't thought about it in a long time either. I'm the one who is sorry because I'm unable to tell you. I can… barely remember at this point."

"I'm sorry too, Saix," Xion said. "Sorry that you haven't seen him in so long. That must be really hard."

"I suppose it is… but as time goes by, it just slips away more. It's not something I worry about nowadays. Come, let's just enjoy the ice cream before we head back."

"Right, okay," Roxas said before going to finish his ice cream.

Saix let out another long sigh as he slowly ate. Now that the thoughts had been dug up, he could not easily bury them. Thoughts of how things were before now floating around his head, reminding him of what life once was. How life was fun and simple back in the day. Now all of that was just old and forgotten.

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 75**

_Xion and I are working together now. The Genie we met in Agrabah said he and his friend Al are "inseparable." Saix said that sometimes people who are best friends can actually be inseparable even if they aren't always around each other. Though he sounded a bit odd when he spoke. He said he once had a best friend… but now he doesn't. I don't really get it._

_That reminds me, those weird pictures flashed through my head again while I_

_was in Agrabah. The guy in red I wrote about before... Has he been to Agrabah or something?_

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Another day has left me with more expected questions than I would have thought. I keep myself in check by not dwelling too much on the past and what was, but somehow it keeps getting brought up. I don't wish to think how things were before as it only brings up all of those questions I never have found answers to. But when Roxas asked about a best friend… I couldn't help but think again._

_Lea… I don't even recognize you anymore at this point. The appearance may be nearly the same, but the boy I knew as Lea doesn't seem to exist anymore. There is only a cold and dark man named Axel instead. I may never get the answers, but I know I will never stop wondering what ever caused a change in you._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh boy this is a big chapter, but it is one of my favorite ones so far. There is some angst up ahead, but enjoy!

The following day Saix watched as Roxas and Xion went on their mission together. Axel made no comments to them with verbal words though, he only sent his untrusting glares. Though glares also ended being applied to Saix as well. When he went to get his mission, Axel stared coldly into Saix's eyes. He could see them trying to read into his own, trying to figure out what possibly could be hidden.

Saix never let up though, not one single bit. It was hard though, he knew Axel was not easily gubile to so easily believe the ploy he was playing. He remained calm and poised and took the mission sheet from Axel before disembarking as quickly as he could. He knew if he stalled or waited, that would be what would make Axel start to talk again.

Thankfully he never did speak up about the subject over the next few days. Much to Saix's surprise Axel never once gave any further comments than he did the first day when suggesting Roxas and Xion work together. It all was going smoothly so far, but that didn't mean Saix could rest yet. He knew Axel would say something about it soon… his silence was all part of his planning. He was only waiting… waiting for the right moment to say something again.

Sure enough in the following days, Axel finally came up to Saix before he was able to ask about his mission. "So just how long do you think you can pull this off?"

"You will need to be more clear. I have no idea what you think I am trying to 'pull off' in any matter," Saix replied.

"With the little zombies. Having them work together for the past several days. What's your goal with it?"

"Aren't they proving to be stronger together than apart? I think while others may think of it as a waste, it is proving to be quite beneficial."

Axel scoffed. "All right, fine, I will give you that. Having them together has proved better for them than apart. But they can't just baby each other the entire time. There are still plenty of Heartless out there that need to be taken care of."

"And they will take care of it, even if they are working together. Even though they are keyblade wielders, teamwork is important."

"Unless the other one ends up failing and it drags you down in the end," Axel commented. "I will continue to let them work together. But if I see any slip up in their work, that's it. Or maybe if i just feel like screwing with them haha. Watch their fake shock as I tell them they can't work together anymore."

Saix breathed in slowly, trying to ignore the obvious bait that Axel was using. He wanted him to argue… he wanted him to be tempted to tell the reasoning behind the plan. There was no way he would let him get under his skin like that.

"But as you stated before, it has been more beneficial for them to work together. Haven't we collected more hearts than before?"

"Yeah but that is cause they are both actually here and functional as best as a zombie can. Before it was either full on zombie annoyances, or was one sleeping or the other missing."

"I wish you would stop referring to them as zombies. While yes they have acted like that in their early days, they are far past that point."

Axel rolled his eyes. "I would if I could just think of a perfect nickname for each of them. I still got 'mask head' for Xion, but nothing good for Roxas. It's actually proving to be quite the challenge. Not that I oppose a good challenge… I just need something good to call them."

"Or," Saix said, actually making an attempt to interject. "You could call them by their actual names and leave it at that."

"But there's no fun in that," Axel groaned.

Saix decided to push it a little further, just to see where it would go. "But you don't have a nickname for me, the Superior, or even Xigbar."

"Well," Axel said, his eyes narrowing. He held out the mission report for Saix to take. "You better not give me any reason to give you one if you are so worried about it."

Saix breathed out slowly before taking the sheet of paper. He turned and headed off without a word more. The conversation was going to get him nowhere no matter how he would try. Fueling Axel to show his darker tendencies wasn't what he wanted either and he already had the feeling Axel was fairly close.

It annoyed him to no end that he could never get his answers with Axel. It was always one vague or cruel thing after another. Again and Again he was always led back to the same spot where he started… with no further information than he had before. Some days he honestly thought it would be best to give up on the matter, but there was still part of him that persisted. There was still part of him that clung to those old memories from before… wanting what once was.

* * *

The days were passing by faster than they had before. Everything had seemingly fallen into an easy line with no disruption. Axel had not gone back to acting on trying to figure out why Saix had insisted Roxas and Xion work together. Though it was clear he still thought it with every glare and cold stare he gave the blue-haired man.

But it was honestly proving to work better than Saix had thought. Roxas was putting in extra effort for each mission to pass off as if it was really two working, but it was truly showing off. The progress to complete their goal was showing higher than ever and everyone seemed happy with it.

Just about three weeks had passed since the plan had started and Saix now knew that it was truly paying off. They had been called to a very special meeting by Xemnas who was happy, or as happy as the man could seem, to announce that Kingdom Hearts had finally started to form in the sky.

Saix started up at the heart-shaped moon that now hovered in the sky of The World That Never Was. It was truly a sight to behold and still such a surprise that it was even there to begin with. It was what their goal had been from the start. The very goal of the entire organization. But it was far from over, there were still many hearts to collect to truly complete it… but when that time came… they could truly, finally exist.

When Saix returned to the Grey Room to see if he had a mission, he overheard Axel talking to Roxas and Xion before the two of them left for their mission. He stopped himself in front entering the room, trying to stay in the shadow of the hallway. It was childish to think that he was trying to eavesdrop, but he wanted to make sure that Axel wasn't treating either of the young teens harshly when he wasn't around.

"Just cause Kingdom Hearts has started forming, _doesn't_ mean you guys can slack off. Neither of you can. So while it seems your weird little plan is working, I am not going to let you guys think you can take it easy now. I've already dealt with a _certain_ slacker enough times lately. You got that?"

Saix saw the two of them nodded in agreement.

Axel titled his head back and sighed. "You know I need more than just a head nod. Need to make sure you are actually listening to me. So try again."

"We understand," Xion quickly replied.

"Yeah, we're going to keep going at it as best as we can," Roxas added.

"Good, now get going already, you're wasting time."

The two ran off quickly without a word more, not wanting to take any chances. Right after they left, Saix finally decided to make his way into the room. Right away he was met with the usual cold golden eyes.

"And just how long did you think you could stand there?"

Internally Saix sighed and scolded himself for thinking it would have ever worked. Nobodies could sense all the other Nobodies, so hiding was pretty pointless. "I only was curious what you had-"

"Yeah yeah you wanted to make sure I wasn't hurting the 'precious little keyblade wielders' right? You think I am dumb or something? I know that! I am only going to do something if they fail to do what they are told. So far they are being good, so if you are so 'concerned' let's hope it stays that way."

A memory surfaced in the back of Saix's mind. It brought forth other memories of a certain emotion, letting him deeply remember how it was. The memory was none other than disgust. The type of disgust when someone is just truly acting awful. If he was actually able to feel that emotion, he knew he would be sick to his stomach with how disgusted he was.

Instead of letting himself get too buried in the thought of it, he cleared his throat. "Do you have a mission for me today?"

"No, I do not," Axel stated rather blandly. "Lucky you, right?"

"Sure I suppose," Saix said before turning around. If Axel was already acting snippy and harsh at the start of the day, the last thing he wanted was to invoke him further. Without even looking back he started to head out of the room.

"Oh hey! Saix before you go," Axel started to say. "If you happen to find Demyx… _tell him I am looking for him._ "

Saix could have swore he felt actual chills run up his spine, an odd sensation for a Nobody to even have in the first place. "I will do my best." Saix managed before finally leaving the room. It only took him a few moments until he realized just what was going on. Saix was surprised that he had not realized it before… but now it all made sense.

Demyx had not been at the meeting to see Kingdom Hearts, and Axel had just mentioned a 'certain slacker' giving him trouble. Now Axel was asking Saix to keep an eye out for Demyx? That only left bad thoughts lingering in Saix's mind. Right away Saix picked up his pace and headed towards where the sleeping quarters were in the castle.

While he rarely spoke to Demyx, he never thought poorly of the young man. The guy was lazy yes, but despite that he had a strong enough heart to become a Nobody and join their ranks. That had to account for something over his lack of skills out in the field.

The guy had strong passions from when he was a Somebody and they had clearly carried over into his life as a Nobody. His love for his music was probably one of the main reasons from what Saix could figure.

Overall he was far from a bad person, he was just more cowardly and lazy than the rest of the group. But that never sat well with Axel. This wasn't the first time that Axel had gone out after Demyx, but for some reason today felt much worse than before.

The tone that Axel carried when speaking left much to be desired about the situation. Last time Demyx had gotten Axel upset, he had used his 'light threatening' to burn off Demyx's mullet, the poor guy had his hood up for weeks. But he still showed up to the Grey Room and did his missions each day he had them.

Now he wasn't showing up to a very important meeting? Something must have happened and whatever it was did not sit well at all with Saix. None of what Axel did towards the other members _ever_ sat well with him. Even though it never had reached extreme levels, it never seemed out of the question to happen one day.

When Saix reached Demyx's room, he knocked on the door. "Demyx? Are you awake?"

There was no response.

There was the possibility that Demyx was not in fact in his room. He could have been hiding out anywhere else in the castle, but Saix didn't want to rule it out just yet. He knocked again, this time a little harder.

"Demyx, are you in there?"

Still no response came.

Saix was not one to barge into another person's room without warning, but this matter was leaving it to be more concerning than anything. With a deep breath Saix teleported into the room and began to look around. There was no sign of him anywhere within plain sight, but Saix knew better than that. There was always a place to hide somewhere in the room, and the first guess Saix had was the closet.

He walked over there and swung the door open and looked down, and sitting curled up in the corner was none other than Demyx. Saix was actually a bit surprised. He had not actually expected to find him in the closet with his knees brought to his chest and his whole entire body seemingly shaking.

"Demyx?" Saix asked before kneeling down.

"S-Saix?" Demyx whispered. He turned his face to face him and Saix could see the terror that was etched all over his face.

It was still surprising to see such an emotion displayed, but he knew it was all just a part of acting on old memories. But it was displayed more so than what other members would usually do. But Saix figured out that it would make sense the longer he thought about it. If pushed through enough events that normally would emotionally hurt a Somebody, it can bring forth those emotions just as strong even if they weren't able to feel it.

"What happened, Demyx?"

Demyx opened his mouth, ready to speak, but only a series of panicked breaths came through instead. His body trembled and his eyes went wide, fixating on the floor before. Right away Saix placed one hand on Demyx's back and the other on his knees.

"Demyx, I want you to breathe. Slow deep breaths with me now, okay?" Saix instructed instinctively.

Demyx whimpered, showing some sign of acknowledgement but other than that there was nothing else.

"Breathe on the count of three, okay? Deep breaths… one… two… three… breathe in…" he breathed in deeply himself while he waited for Demyx to copy him.

A beat later Demyx did as Saix did, though his deep breath was shaky and far too quiet. But it was a step forward at least. After that Saix did the same as before but told Demyx to breath out, and he complied. They did this breathing several times until the shaking in Demyx's body went away and he could properly focus on Saix.

"Ah… S-Saix…" though his breathing had finally returned to a calmer state, his tone proved that whatever had happened still left him nervous. "What happened?"

"It looked like you were having a panic attack," Saix replied.

"But I thought Nobodies couldn't really do that stuff… I mean everything was a blur and I thought I was freaking out… but I wasn't really feeling it, you know?"

"Yes, that can happen with us. We cannot feel that emotion, but our bodies and minds still remember how to react."

"Oh… Um… well thank you for helping…" Demyx replied before sighing.

"Come, let's get you off the floor and to your bed at least. Do you think you can stand up?"

"Not sure…" Demyx said as he gently went to rub his left hand.

Saix held out a hand to Demyx. "Let's try then."

Demyx almost reached out with his left hand. He hesitated before switching to hold onto Saix with his right. A moment later Saix pulled him up to his feet only to have him nearly collapse back to the ground. Saix wrapped his other hand around him before he could fall and pulled him back up onto his feet. With giving him as much support as he could, they started to walk over to the bed as Demyx mainly leaned against Saix gripping onto his hand tightly with only his right hand.

As soon as Demyx was sitting down on the bed, Saix walked over to the window and leaned against it. "Can you tell me what happened that caused this attack? If it is too much for you just let me know."

Demyx shuddered before staring down at his left hand. "I… I upset Axel a little too much…"

Saix raised an eyebrow. "Too much? Demyx… what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything!" Demyx retorted. "I mean… okay yeah I was backing off how much I had to get done lately… But he was making me do all this fighting! Everyone knows that I hate to fight. You get all sweaty and it's gross and-"

"Demyx."

"Sorry sorry… but yeah I admit I wasn't doing all of what Axel told me. But I thought it was fine since Roxas and Xion had been working so hard with collecting all those hearts. Thought it wouldn't matter if I did less, it isn't like you or me or anyone but those two can actually collect those hearts."

"So you slacked off… and Axel…" Saix couldn't find the words to finish. He already assumed enough, but he hadn't gotten the true point of it yet. That point was only something Demyx could tell him, and he had to wait until the man felt ready.

"H-He… he came to yell at me last night. Scolding me for being the worst slacker. Even going far enough to say that he would turn me into a Dusk but since we were low on numbers since Castle Oblivion he wouldn't. But he said he was very close to just doing it anyways…"

Demyx swallowed deeply before staring off to the corner of his room. "He just kept getting angry. I tried to get him off my back, but then… h-he…"

"Demyx, I said it already, if it is too hard for you, you do not have to tell me right now."

"No… I gotta tell someone… There's no reason to be afraid of explaining it…" Demyx sighed before raising his left hand. "Out of nowhere… he just grabbed my hand. Squeeze it and I don't remember much else… I think I musta blacked out from the pain."

Without warning Saix stepped forward and held onto Demyx's wrist. He pulled off the glove and looked at what was underneath. Now he was no doctor, he had no medical history or anything in the matter, but he could tell that the hand was swollen.

"Why haven't you healed it?"

"I was in a panic attack dude!" Demyx exclaimed. "That was the last thing that came to mind!"

Knowing it was not best to press Demyx on the matter, Saix filled all his concentration into a healing spell. Green light surrounded the hand and the swelling seemed to go down. After that Saix reached into his pocket and pulled out a regular potion.

"You should be lucky that I always carry a potion on me at all times," Saix said before holding it out to Demyx.

Demyx reached out to grab it with his left hand. Right as he tried to wrap his fingers around it, he grimaced and dropped his hand to his side. A defeated look crept into his face before he took the potion with his right hand.

"You shouldn't try and use it right away. Healing with magic and potions can only do so much. Mainly it just needs time to heal on its own with proper care."

"How come you know all of this?" Demyx asked after he finished taking a sip from the potion. "And why are you wanting to help me so much? I don't get it. You like never want anything to do with the other members. Always Mr. Quiet and distant and stuff."

"Hmph," Saix narrowed his eyes at him. "I may not be the most sociable in the Organization, but it doesn't mean I won't help another member."

"Oh… sorry, didn't mean to call you that name then."

"And to answer your other question, I did study about the human anatomy for some time before I was a Nobody."

Demyx's eyes lit up a little. "Wow really? Never would have guessed."

"Furthermore, if you didn't heal your hand it would only get worse… and you know that Axel would not tolerate a setback like a broken hand," Saix paused, catching himself over what he was saying. "Even if he was the one to cause it."

Demyx flinched at the meer mentioning Axel's name. The hand may have been pretty much healed, but the memories in the mind could never heal. They would always be there… burned into the mind to taunt and haunted.

Once Demyx finished off the potion he slowly tested moving his fingers. There was still pain etched in his face when he tried to close his hand or even just tried to move one finger to touch his palm. He frowned heavily. "This really sucks…"

"Maybe next time you shouldn't slack off as much. You have been here long enough to know Axel… doesn't tolerate much."

"Well Axel shouldn't kick me around so much! He treats me like complete trash."

Saix sighed. "I cannot argue against that. Axel… I will agree comes off far too harsh most of the time."

"Try all of the time…" Demyx muttered. "He always puts me down and never once has done anything to encourage me. Even when I am really trying at like a recon, he still just scoffs at my efforts."

"I wish there was something I could do. Honest. But trying to get through Axel… I've tried…" Saix tried off, his eyes growing distant from the thoughts building in his mind.

"Yeah…" Demyx agreed softly, not exactly catching onto Saix's distance look. Suddenly Demyx jumped up to his feet. "Wait! No!"

Right away, Demyx ran over to his dresser and started to look though things. Eventually he dropped to his knees to the little trashcan next to the dresser. "No… N-No…" his voice was weak, so soft it could hardly be heard.

"Demyx? What's the matter?"

"There was more Axel did… I just remembered now that I had time to think… I thought I just dreamt it though. I was pleading that I was dreaming about it…"

"What did he do?" Saix asked as he walked over to where the blond stood.

Reaching into the trash can, Demyx pulled out something black. Upon looking farther, Saix saw it was _black_ … it was charred. Whatever it was had been burned.

"My notebook… with some of my greatest song ideas… gone…" Demyx mumbled as he tried to open the burned book. Though it was a bit hard to open it and turn the pages, there was nothing salavable. Every page was shriveled and burned black to a crisp. The only semi-sturdy part was the cover, but even that had been burnt beyond recognition.

"I can't just rewrite them either…" Demyx continued to mumble. Saix let him do it anyway, seeing that the guy really needed to get it out. "These were songs that just hit me in the moment… can't recreate them. But now…" Demyx stared long and hard at his left hand again. "I'm not even sure I would be able to even play properly anymore… I'm sure Axel did that on purpose…"

When Demyx stood back up Saix reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. "Demyx, you will be all right. There could have been far worse things that Axel could have done."

"I don't know what's worse than this… it was my thing. My precious thing that meant everything to me. My songs… they're everything to me. I was going to publish them once I was a Somebody again."

"I know that you cannot recreate those that came in the spur of the moment. But Demyx, I know you can create more. You may not be fitted for the battle field, but I know what field you are fitting for. That field would be music. You strum and play that sitar of yours in the Grey Room everyday and you actually manage to use it when you have to fight. No one else can say that they have that ability."

Demyx chuckled slowly. "Thanks… You're right. I do have some pretty cool skills. And!" he whipped around to now smile at Saix. "I got control over the Dancer Nobodies. They're musically inclined too! Only listen to the one and only me of course."

"There you go," Saix replied. "Just give yourself sometime and you will have a whole new array of songs."

"Thanks Saix, you know you are a really good person to talk to. Ever thought about becoming a therapist?"

"I have never considered the thought, I am still not the most sociable person, remember?"

"But that's the thing! A therapist is just one on one! And you really know how to talk to make someone feel better. You just got those words that just make everything seem more clear and understandable."

"I suppose so…" Saix trailed off. He thought back to when he had talked to the Riku replica back at Castle Oblivion. Just like now, he had talked and said what was on his mind, and it ended up being quite beneficial. Maybe Demyx had a point after all… a very strange thought for sure.

"But ya know if I could ask you for one more thing… what am I going to do now? I mean I gotta face Axel, don't I? What if he… if he does… or isn't happy with-"

"I will go with you. I will make sure he doesn't go any further with this," Saix replied.

"You mean it?"

"Of course," Saix replied. "Now let's go and see what he has to say. We will get this over as quickly as possible."

"O-Oh… right."

The two of them exited the room and headed down to the Grey Room. When they got there, Axel looked up from papers and chuckled at the sight he saw before him. "So the little coward was too _scared_ to come to me on his own? Should have figured."

"He would not have had reason to act scared if you had not gone out and actually broke his hand," Saix said, taking a defensive stand in front of Demyx.

"You're going to start defending him now? You going to defend everyone on how they work? You can get away with helping the little zombies to work better together, but you can't just try to make up excuses for all the others."

"You _broke his hand_ ," Saix said, not wanting to play any games with Axel this time around.

"So? It got healed right? He isn't completely broken or dead now is he?" Axel began to laugh. "As long as he can still function at the end of the day it doesn't matter what happens, just as long as he doesn't end up being a complete failure."

Saix breathed in. He needed to remain calm. Letting himself into agitation was the last thing he wanted to happen. His memories of anger and frustration were still the easiest way to accidently trick his mind into triggering his berserker mode. That was the last thing he needed right now… but seeing Axel say those things, it was almost to the point where Saix wanted to slap him. But without the true anger in a heart that he no longer had, he didn't do it.

"What did you need Demyx? Are you seriously going to have him go out on a mission today after what you did?"

Axel scoffed, annoyance settling into his face. "I'm not dumb, that wouldn't be very tactical or beneficial. I only wanted to talk with Demyx. Make sure he knows what he did and that he _won't_ do it again. And… I want to hear it from him, not you."

Saix breathed in slowly. He tried his best to read into Axel's eyes but he was only met with coldness. Slowly Saix stepped aside, but did not go any further with it. Demyx turned to give hima wide and worried look, but Saix closed his eyes and shook his head. "Just give him what he wants to know."

"Yeah, just listen to ' _Mother Saix'_ and everything will be all right," Axel taunted curedly.

" _So much for never having a nickname… I suppose it was only a matter of time."_

"I won't try and slack anymore, okay?" Demyx sputtered out quickly.

"You are going to have to try better than just _trying_ not to slack," Axel grumbled.

"Fine!" Demyx shouted. "I won't slack! I will _not_ slack anymore. There! You happy?"

"Passable attempt so fine, that's all I needed. Now get out of here already, I have more important things to attend to."

Demyx sighed heavily, clear relief written all over his face. He turned around and sped walked out of the room as fast as he could, all with Saix quietly walking behind. After they were farther enough from the Grey Room, Demyx let out a much more audible sigh.

"Whew! That was seriously too much. I totally thought he was going to attack us or even you were going to go after him. Looked like for a moment you wanted to rip his head off."

Saix stiffened. "I wouldn't put it quite like that."

"How can Xemnas let him get away with saying and doing stuff like that though? You think he would give a bit more concern that his 2nd in command is attacking other members."

"I do not know what Xemnas makes of all of this. It is too hard to read the man anyway."

"Yeah… I guess you got a point about that…" Demyx turned to look down the hallway. "Guess I gotta find something to do… maybe I can figure out something to write. Doubt I will get much, my right hand doesn't have the neatest penmanship…"

Softly Saix hummed to himself, mulling over the situation. He almost found it strange that he kept ending up in strange instances like this one. It felt him with the faint and strange sensation of things he knew from the past. Things that were now second nature to him. It was just all basic instinct that was built into his mind now, whether there was feeling or not.

"Demyx, how about something different? I think you need to get yourself out for some fresh air."

"Ah? You think so? But I have no idea where to even go."

"I have an offer for you then, you don't have to take it, but you are more than invited to join me, Roxas, and Xion for ice cream in Twilight Town."

"Whoa what? Ice cream? That… that actually sounds really nice right now!" Demyx shouted, suddenly switching his mood to something much more cheerful. "You serious though? I wouldn't be imposing or anything?"

"No, I am inviting you after all. It would not be imposing in the slightest. So do you want to come?"

"I think so," Demyx said as he nodded. "Thanks Saix, seriously man, I never expected this from you. You are the last person I ever thought would be good at reaching out to help others."

"You'd be surprised what people hid from others, there is always a lot more hidden than just what you see on the outside," Saix replied. "Now come, let's head out there, Roxas and Xion should be done with their mission soon enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah no Secret Report stuff this chapter since the day isn't over yet. But hey Demyx is here now at least. But poor, poor Demyx.


	18. Chapter 18

Roxas and Xion had finished up their mission and were heading to the clock tower as they always did. They exited out of their portal at the top and rounded the corner expecting to see Saix like they always did. They did see him in fact, but what they did not expect was to see someone else sitting there with him.

Before they could say anything Saix turned to look at them. "Roxas. Xion. I hope you do not mind that I brought Demyx with me today. He needed the fresh air away from the castle."

Roxas and Xion furrowed their brows in confusion. Neither of them knew truly what to make of the situation. But thankfully Saix easily caught on to what they must have been thinking. "It was something that was related to Axel. But we don't wait to dwell on it."

As soon as the name 'Axel' was said, Roxas and Xion understood. He already was someone they were not fond of wanting to interact with, but with him being the 2nd in command they didn't have much of a choice. With a few nods, the two of them took their seats next to Saix and he handed them their ice cream.

"Did your mission go well today?" Saix asked after a moment.

"It was good," Roxas replied.

After that, Xion spared a quick unnoticed glance to Demyx. The guy was listening but being polite as to not invade the conversation. But Xion knew full well that Demyx did not know of the plan that had been created and she wasn't about to let him know about it. She knew better than to let that slip up.

"We worked hard and took out all the Heartless in no time flat."

"Good to hear it," Saix replied with a nod. "Keep doing what you can."

Roxas bit into his ice cream and stared at it. Finally he looked up over towards Saix, knowing he could ask what he wanted and hopefully would get an answer. "I don't get it though. Why do we need to keep on fighting the Heartless like this?"

"Because we need to get to the goal of completing Kingdom Hearts," Saix replied simply. "You remember what we were looking at the start of the day, correct? That is what it is."

"But I still don't get just what it is… The 'hearts of all hearts' stuff?" Roxas asked before eating more of his ice cream while he waited for the answer.

Much to his surprise, Xion ended up being the one to answer. "Isn't it where all the hearts that we collect wind up?"

"That's right Xion," Saix replied with a slight nod. "You two are the core of this entire goal that the Organization has. With the two of you working as you are, we move closer to our goal. Closer…" Saix paused, letting his thoughts dip deeply to what all of this meant. He had always thought about the day that they would meet their goal. But it still was strange to think they were getting closer. "Closer to gaining hearts once more.

"Xemnas said that the strength of the human heart is vast," Xion commented, recalling what Xemnas had spoken about before.

Roxas shrugged. "Yeah, but what do we need with it?"

There was a gasp, but not from Saix or Xion. Instead all eyes focused on Demyx who now realized he'd drawn attention to himself. "Ah sorry. Didn't mean to invade the conversation and stuff."

"No Demyx, it's quite all right. If you have something you wish to interject there is no harm in doing so," Saix answered.

"Well if you say so..." Demyx stared down at his almost finished ice cream for a moment and then shifted his gaze to Roxas. "It's just that the heart and emotions are totally important man!"

"But I just don't understand stand... why is having a heart important? You understand it I guess?"

"Well of course!" Demyx exclaimed. "It's just something really important to being human and all that jazz. Isn't that right, Saix?"

"Yes, it is very important for that element."

"You just know all this? Never just wonder about it? I mean... I feel so lost with it. Fighting for something I don't know anything about..." Roxas lowered his head before sighing.

Demyx furrowed his brows. "How could you not-"

Saix raised a hand. "I think part of it may be that Roxas and Xion have no memories from before. It is hard to recall the importance of having heart when you cannot remember. But don't worry," Saix now focused on looking at the two young teens. "in time I am sure you will both understand it more, mainly for when you achieve that heart. But in the meantime I'll do what I can to explain any further questions you may have."

"Ah.. okay. Thanks Saix," Roxas replied.

After that the group went back to eating their ice cream like they always did. Well everyone but Demyx. He watched the others then stared back at his own ice cream. Finally he cleared his throat and spoke up. "Uh… you guys really don't mind having me here? I'm not like being invasive or anything?"

"Demyx, I told you already that it isn't a problem. I invited you to come, there is no problem with that," Saix replied in the strongest serious tone he could give at the moment.

"Yeah!" Xion interjected. "I don't mind. We totally understand as well. You know… wanting to get away from Axel and all."

Demyx felt a bit better at that, though hearing Axel's name again brought uncertainty. "I can't just stay here though… eventually I'll have to head back to the castle… Back to facing him again…"

"We all must face him at some point, no matter how he acts towards us we need to get through it as best as we can. But," Saix placed a hand on Demyx's back. "If Axel ever does anything like that again to you, I want you to come and tell me, okay?"

"Okay… I can try that," Demyx whispered. He was thankful for sure that Saix wanted to help him, but the worry about having to confront Axel still was much stronger. Still overall very thankful either way. "Thanks…"

The remainder of the time at the clock tower was still quiet, but it was peaceful while everyone finished up their ice cream. Once the group finished they headed to leave, with Demyx trying to trail farther behind, but Saix still was far too observant to let that slide. He walked right by Demyx's side as they entered back into the castle.

Axel was there waiting as he always did, but his attention was on Roxas and Xion, leaving Saix and Demyx to head out on their own into the hallway. Once they were near the bedrooms, Demyx slowed his pace again and stopped after another moment. "Thanks again Saix."

"You do not need to keep thanking me," Saix said without turning around.

"I just feel like I gotta though… you really stood up for me there. It's just nice to know that someone's got my back."

Saix still didn't turn around. He breathed in deeply before he ended up nodding. "You're welcome, just do not forget what I said from before."

"Right," Demyx replied before turning to walk down the hallway that would lead to his room.

With nothing more for Saix to do he always continued moving towards his bedroom for the night. He headed to his room for the night and left all these thoughts to linger. He was far to tire dot actually sort though them, but he knew he had to complete his journal for the night. Then finally after what felt like a very long day he could get some good rest.

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 94**

_Xemnas summoned us. Nothing he says ever makes sense to me. He showed us Kingdom Hearts, a big heart-shaped moon floating up there in the night sky, and said the human heart will never have power over us. Great...I guess?_

_So why are we trying to get hearts again?_

_Saix did his best to explain that I will understand one day… but I still am unsure. But I know I can trust Saix at least if I have any questions._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Roxas and Xion have been doing their best to keep our little plan working, and truly it seems to have been paying off. Kingdom Hearts… it is finally in the sky for all of us to see. It still is a long way away from being full, but it is going to grow closer each day. But even with that, we need to keep our plans going smoothly._

_Though I still have some underlying worry for Axel. His actions towards the others like Demyx are becoming more and more obvious. He never seems to realize that he is in the wrong for doing what he does… I hate to have to say this, but he acts just as a bully would to others. I am sure if I had my heart now I would be hurt by this, but there is still nothing but the old memories…_

* * *

A young Isa walked down the streets of his home. The day was clear and the sun shined brightly down on him, making him wish he had remembered a hat. Either way he kept on walking, heading towards the area that was more of the downtown area for people to head to shows and hangout with one another.

On his way there, he walked passed an alleyway, but before he could go any farther stopped. Though it was shadowed at the far end of the alleyway, there was no way he could mistake that bright red hair.

" _Lea… just what are you doing?"_

Lea was standing at the end of the alleyway, surrounded by three other older teens. Lea was backed up against the way, with one the older teens grabbing onto his shirt collar. They shoved him hard against the wall and then let him crumble to the ground.

The boys started laughing and that was when Isa moved forward as fast as he could. "How about you leave him alone already."

The three older teens turned around and scoffed at Isa. Looking back at Lea, one of them laughed. "Well look, 'bout time your buddy came to your rescue."

"Heh, yeah such a weakling that you need others to come and save you," one of the others said.

Isa narrowed his eyes. "And how about you just get out of here."

"Man seriously. Way too serious," the 3rd one sighed. "We've already had our fun with him, so I guess we can head out. But…" he walked right up to Isa and gave him an equally serious and cold stare. "We will mess with him again if he tries to pick a fight with us. We would be glad to teach him more lessons."

The group of boys laughed and ran off before Isa could even say anything to them. Right away Isa ran over and knelt down next to his friend. "Lea. Are you all right?"

Lea kept his head lowered, but faint sniffles were heard. Now that he was up close to Lea, he could see some small cuts and bruises on his arms. Clearly much more had happened than what Isa would have wished.

Isa placed both his hands onto Lea's shoulders and held him tightly. "Lea. Come on, look at me."

Lea slowly raised his head. There were a few more bruises and cuts, but most notable there was blood dripping from his nose. Lea stared at him with watery eyes, but no words came from his mouth, only small whimpers.

Sighing Isa pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it gently against Lea's nose. "Lea… I've told you before you got to stop picking fights with those guys. They're just big bullies who won't listen to anyone."

"But if no one stands up to the bullies… then they'll never stop," Lea muttered. "I didn't _mean_ to pick a fight today…"

"What happened then?"

"I was just minding my own business, and they were just picking on these younger kids. Trying to take any money that they had for ice cream. I wasn't going to let that go by so I told them to lay off. Then…" Lea stopped for a bit as he went to wipe away the tears from his eyes. "That's when they dragged me back here to… ya know 'teach me a lesson for messing with them' as they would say."

Isa sighed one more. "Lea. You could have gotten really hurt, more so than you have already. Picking a fight with bullies isn't a safe choice even if you are doing it for a good cause."

"Yeah well… I just wanted to see them stop. I hate seeing them pick on little kids like that."

"But now you're hurt and those bullies won't care to stop."

"Yeah yeah… don't gotta rub it in my face…" Lea said before pushing away Isa's hand. "I don't need help…"

As soon as Isa's hand was away, the blood started to trickle again. Lea frowned as he tried to wipe it away, but it kept on dripping. Eventually he looked to Isa with a sad and pleading look, and Isa went right back to trying to stop the bleeding.

As they sat there, Lea's expression slowly kept dropping to look far less cheerful. His eyes were showing clear signs of how tired and hurt he was, but Isa knew that Lea wasn't going to jump up to talk about it.

"Are you going to tell your parents about this?" Isa said before putting his other hand on Lea's back.

Lea shook his head. "Nah… they'd only get mad at me for getting into another fight… You know how they are about this stuff…"

Carefully Isa pulled away the now bloody handkerchief and saw that the bleeding had stopped. There wasn't much else he could do with it so he folded it carefully and placed it away in his pocket, mentally reminding himself to remember to wash it as soon as he could.

"Come on, Lea. How about we head to my house then?"

Lea nodded. "Sure…"

Isa moved his arms to be under Lea. After a brief count to three, the two of them stood up. "Everything feel all right?"

"Hmm… yeah…" Lea answered. "Still a bit sore though…"

"Let's get going," Isa said as the two of them walked. He made sure to keep one arm around Lea, making sure he wouldn't drop at any moment.

"Isa?"

"Yeah, Lea?"

"Thanks," Lea whispered. "I guess I was just lucky that you came around when you did…"

"I was coming to find you downtown anyways. We were going to meet up, remember?"

"Yeah I know… I just don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come around when you did. So thanks," Lea replied before giving a small smile. "It's good to know I have such a good friend who always has my back."

* * *

Saix shot up in his bed, finding a memory of surprise and shock filling his mind. He stared at the darken room around him, while he tried to let his mind sort everything out. Soon enough he sighed and laid back down to stare up at the ceiling.

He pinched the bridge of his nose while he continued to sort through what he had just dreamt. " _Why… Why of all times… Why must I now start dreaming of the past?"_

He knew it was pointless to ask why.

He knew exactly why.

He just wanted to avoid and never think about it, yet here he was, with no other choice but to think on it. " _Lea… since when did the tables turn…? When did you become the thing you hated? Why… I just want to know. What invoked this change? And why am I stuck unable to help you or get through to you? I feel so useless in all of this. If I could just understand the reason behind it, maybe I could do something. But I still am so lost… I suppose though, if you have become the thing you once tried to stand up to, it is my job to keep protecting those you try to hurt."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of my favorite chapters of them all. I probably also say that a lot too haha. 
> 
> Poor Saix though... Axel is just so far away from him. Let me know what you guys think! I would love to hear it!
> 
>   
> Also I don't remember if I said this yet, but i made a old photoshop of this a while ago when I made the story originally.  
> [Check it out.](https://clairefiredragon.tumblr.com/post/170196524165/alright-so-there-is-a-new-chapter-up-for-my-new)


	19. Chapter 19

When his alarm went off, signaling it was morning, Saix almost felt like staying in bed. After his dream from the past, he had barely gotten any sleep after that. While Nobodies had no hearts and lacked the ability to feel emotion, that didn't include exhaustion. That was something else entirely. That was something they still could feel and it honestly was a complete and utter annoyance.

Still there was work to be done and the day wasn't going to wait for him. With a rather tired yawn, Saix managed to pull himself out from the bed. Once he tried to stretch, he went to get himself ready for the day as best as he could.

After eating some breakfast he headed down to the Grey Room as it was the usual routine. Just like it was all the other times, Axel was already there, sitting alone reading through papers. Once Saix stepped into the room Axel actually looked up to stare at him with some slightly wide eyes.

"Wow, you look like crap." There was almost a hint of laughter in Axel's voice, as if how Saix looked was funny. Apparently to Axel, tiredness from lack of sleep could prove to be amusing, but Saix chose not to focus on that.

"And that would mean?"

"Nothing. Just didn't know you could look like that. What happened? Little itty bitty nightmares?"

Axel once again sounded like he was taunting him again. There was that snarky expression that he usually wore when speaking to other members, and that left Saix to think. This was different than before. Even if Axel was cold and rude, he was never like this to Saix. Something was different now… and Saix had a feeling as to what it was, but he didn't want to assume just yet.

"Why should it matter if I did or didn't?" Saix asked as he went to take a seat across from Axel.

Axel let out a short chuckle. "Cause, if dear old Mother Saix is tired, then maybe we should be worried. If you are too tired to perform your missions then maybe something is wrong."

Saix sighed softly. The nickname… he had not intended for it to happen, yet there was nothing he could do to fix it now. Once Axel made up his mind on a nickname like that he was going to stick to it. Saix had made his choices and now he was stuck with the consequences.

"Is that really necessary?" Either way he still ended up asking about it. If Axel was so insistent on giving names like that, he wanted an answer straight from Axel's lips.

Axel shrugged. "I just give the names as I see them. You're the one that decided to suddenly start defending all the other members."

"I am not defending all the other members."

"Right," Axel rolled his eyes. "Just the pathetic babies. Just like a mother would."

Closing his eyes Saix chose to not speak up anymore, knowing that doing so would only get the conversation nowhere. But it seemed that Axel wasn't done yet. He stood up from his spot and walked over right next to Saix.

When he opened his eyes again, Axel was standing right over him with that cruel grin. "You're totally 'upset' aren't you? You lasted this long without a nickname and now I finally figured one out."

Saix kept his thoughts to himself as he usually did. Though yes he did have thoughts to ask and questions to all of this, he didn't want it to end up going in an endless and pointless cycle. Knowing how Axel would either jump around an answer or give something else that just averted from the topic, Saix didn't want to give the effort to try.

"Come on, surely you got more to say than that. Your nickname isn't the worst at least. You should be honored that I gave you a rather mundane one."

Saix straightened his posture, choosing to look away from Axel. Instead he focused on the window to the outside. "If I don't want to say anything, I should not be required to speak on thought such as that."

Axel scoffed before holding out a piece of paper. "Whatever. You have a mission for today. Take it and I guess leave whenever you actually decide to do work."

Axel then walked over to the usual area that he stood in the Grey Room, and soon enough other members came along to get their missions. Even Demyx came through to get a mission and Saix could see just how tense he was in front of Axel, but he still managed to get the mission, heading off before Axel could chastise him too badly.

Soon enough Xion came into the room and walked over to Saix. "Good morning Saix."

"Good morning Xion."

After a moment she looked at Saix with a little confusion. "Are you okay? You look a little-"

"I'm just tired. Poor night of sleep," Saix finished quickly.

"Ooh, I see. I'm sorry."

Saix shook his head. "Nothing you need to be sorry about. It's all right."

A few moments later Roxas headed in next and came over, forming their small little group. "I wish the two of you luck today, not that you'll need it. I know you will both do well."

"Thanks Saix," Roxas replied before he headed off with Xion to get his mission from Axel.

Now that the two of them were gone, Saix knew he didn't have to wait around. He had a mission to do anyways, and he knew he had to complete it. Though as he headed to the corridor he took one moment to look behind him… to look right at Axel.

The redhead stared back with a rather serious expression, as if he was trying to read into what had just happened. Letting out a short exhale Saix resumed walking after that, not looking back to see if Axel would end up doing anything else. Though he was certain he could still feel the eyes burning into his back even once he had left the room.

* * *

In the later hours Saix headed out to the clock tower and waited as he always did. He had his ice cream ready, but he did not start to eat it yet. He still was waiting on Roxas and Xion, but it didn't take much longer before they showed up.

Once they were all sitting and started to eat their ice cream, Saix started off the conversation. "I suppose it worked out well today?"

"Of course! We still got this!" Roxas explained after he took a bite of ice cream. "What about you? Did you have a mission for today?"

"I did. It was where you went yesterday, the place that we refer to as Beast's Castle."

"Oh. What did you need to do there?" Xion asked.

"Some recon investigation. Nothing too much, but just trying to explore some reports about the Heartless that roam there. Now I suppose your mission was heart collecting?"

"What else would it be?" Roxas replied, laughing slightly. "But yeah, we went to Agrabah today for that."

"And the more you go about this, the better you will get working as a team, correct?"

Xion nodded, though her expression did not match. "I… I don't know if we can really keep doing this. Can we really keep fooling the other members like this?"

"Rexlas, we'll be fine," Roxas said, almost too confident.

"But what about Axel?"

"Ah what about him? We've kept it up this long, so we can keep doing it."

Saix shook his head. "Roxas. I wouldn't be too sure about that. Axel is always very suspicious about things… I fear sooner or later he may try to pry and find out more."

"Huh? You really think?"

"I wouldn't put it past him unfortunately," Saix replied with a sigh. "And for the other members, they may not care as much as Axel would, but they are not as dumb and blind as you want to believe."

"Guess we'll just have to cross our fingers." Xion stared down at her ice cream, looking deep in thought before she went back to eating more of it.

"Oh… sorry. I guess I must have been overthinking it a litte…" Roxas scratched the back of his head. "But really everyone? Like I can get most of the members, but Demyx? He was here yesterday and didn't suspect a thing!"

Saix turned to face Roxas more directly. His face narrowed to look far more serious than before. "Roxas, I would not talk ill about someone behind their back like that."

"But-"

"If you choose to talk behind someone's back to make insults about them or assumptions, then you would be no better than how Axel treats all of us." It honestly felt weird to say 'us' within the context, but now things were changing and Saix couldn't help but feel this would only be the start to Axel being much harsher towards him.

"Besides," Saix continued. "Demyx deserves more credit than you give him. He may not be the most active member, but when it comes to recon missions that is his strong suit."

"Plus," Xion cut in. "When he does have to fight he can actually take out Heartless with just his sitar. I think that has got to count for something, right?"

Saix nodded, giving a small smile. "That's right. When it comes to it, Demyx actually is far stronger in combat than he looks, he just prefers to opt out from fighting if he can."

"Wait seriously?" Roxas asked, his eyes wide and surprised.

"Yes. I've seen him summon his water clones before, and let me tell you those are quite hard to get rid of while he is strumming away on his sitar."

"Wow… I never would have guessed. But if he can actually do all that then why does he say he isn't cut out for combat."

Saix thought carefully for a moment, trying to think of the best words he could use to explain to Roxas and Xion. "Just because you are good at something, doesn't mean you have to like doing it. You could be really good at writing your mission reports, but does that mean you enjoy doing it?"

Roxas wrinkled his face a little. "Yeah I really hate writing those. I guess I get what you mean then. Everyone just has something they are good at though?"

"You got it. Everyone has their strong points. The things that make them unique from the others."

"Unique?" Xion asked inquisitively. "Even Nobodies? Don't you need a heart to be unique?"

Saix hummed softly. "Not necessarily. The traits and skills we possess are what makes us unique. Things we learned through our past also help as well. Not having a heart or not doesn't factor into if you are unique or not. Though I suppose you can say us being without hearts as a whole makes us rather unique."

"What past…?"

"Wait, you remember your past?"

Saix nodded quietly. He knew that Roxas still held no memory from before, though he wasn't entirely sure with Xion. Either way he knew that they had to learn to understand it, perhaps then maybe something good could come from it.

"Yes I do… unlike the lessee Nobodies like the Dusks, we remember who we are and are able to retain it. Though I like to believe there is some recognition left in them. I'm sure you've seen the Dusk act odd at times, perhaps quirks from when they were a Somebody."

"Well… I don't remember who I am…" Roxas sighed.

"Me neither."

Humming, Saix looked to the two young ones, seeing the worry and sadness that was expressed on their faces. "I know it must be hard not to remember. I'd like to hope one day you two will be able to."

"You think?" Roxas asked.

"Yes," Saix answered simply.

"So… what were you like before you were a Nobody?"

Saix began to straighten up. It was an unexpected question yet also could have been easily expected at the same time. Still not something he honestly wanted to keep thinking back to, especially with his dream from the night.

"I suppose the best way you could say it is…" Saix kept on thinking about it. He wanted to be able to tell the two, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. He hadn't thought about his Somebody life in years, but everything was rushing back to him.

"I've always been rather calm and collected. Not much difference if I think about it."

"Really?" Xion asked.

"It's the easiest way to put it without digging too deeply into what once was. It's all in the past anyways."

Roxas stared down at his now finished ice cream. He held the stick in his hands lightly before speaking up again. "At least you can remember. I don't even remember my first week as a Nobody."

"Hm, sometimes it can be a lot to remember… to remember what once was and what you've left behind. But you still have time to remember. Perhaps when Kingdom Hearts is complete, you'll get your memories back."

"Maybe…" Roxas muttered, not sound so sure.

"I'm with you Roxas. I don't remember much from the beginning either."

"I wonder… what I must have been like. You think I was just the same, Saix? Like you?"

Saix tried to hold back the smallest of smiles. Roxas was far from similar to his Somebody counterpart. But… there were still some similarities, but overall Roxas and Sora had far more differences. It made Roxas truly unique for who he was.

"Maybe," Saix said, finally giving his answer. "Who knows for certain though. Everyone is different after all and… sometimes people change." There was the slightest bit of hesitation at the end, but it went completely unnoticed by Roxas and Xion.

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 95**

_I went to Agrabah today with Xion. We make a pretty good team now._

_Afterwards Saix, Xion and I talked about us and the other Nobodies. The ones who make it into the Organization are powerful enough to keep their memories... But me and Xion can't remember our pasts. What was I like?_

_Saix said people sometimes change… I wonder if I changed because I can't remember._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_The day felt long yet at the same time it went fairly quickly. I suppose it was just slow in dragging at the start… with the account of what I dreamt…_

_Memories of the past… I find it strange how they can weed their way into our dreams. It feels like it should be out of nowhere, but I know better than that. I dream that for a reason… my past is being reflected but with twists that I never would have expected. I need to carry on though as best as I can._


	20. Chapter 20

It all seemed like it would be normal, just like the rest of the days. But as soon as Roxas and Xion went to talk to Axel, that's where things went different. Aside from his usual glare, today he seemed even sharper than before. "Today ends this little charade of you two working together."

"Huh? Why?" Xion asked.

"Cause one; I said so and two; there are some big ugly Heartless in two different worlds. That means we can't be wasting time going to them one by one in your little team up."

"But…" Xion started to say.

Axel leaned over, bringing his face up to hers. "No buts. There is not going to be any of that. Unless…" He narrowed his eyes. "There's some other reason you don't want to be split up."

"Uh no, but-" Roxas started to say, but Axel cut him off.

"No! I am not going to hear any pitiful excuses from either one of you. If you can't manage to take on tasks on your own, then you really have gotten weak and pathetic."

The two teens looked at one another with a worried glance for only the briefest of seconds. Neither of them knew what to say, and it was making them worried. If they were going to be split up and Xion still couldn't use the keyblade… Axel was totally going to find out.

"So you've hiding something from me, have you now?" Axel said as he grabbed onto both Roxas and Xion by their arms, so they wouldn't be able to just easily run away.

"N-No…" Xion stammered. "We just didn't think that-"

"That's what I thought!" Axel grumbled. "Just excuses and more excuses. Well I am sick of it and if you think you and try to bull-"

"Axel," Saix quickly said before the man could go any further.

"Oh what?" Axel sneered. "Are you here to play 'mother' again? Tell me that these two are still such worthless babies that they can't do anything on their own?"

Saix remained calm. He wasn't going to let Axel get to him like this, no matter how badly he wanted to rebuke. He had to keep his cool and not give in to the temptation to react. If Axel was being a bully the worse thing Saix could do was give in to what he wanted. Being calm and collected was the only way he knew to get through this.

"I wasn't saying that. You said there are two major Heartless threats yes? Just where exactly are they?"

"You think you can do something about it? Cause that isn't how it is going to work. If I think these two need to stop working with each other then that's what I say. I am the one that is second in command not _you_."

"I can still offer advice to what I think is reasonable," Saix countered. "If these Heartless are as big of a threat as you say, it would be unwise to send out the two of them by themselves even with their keyblades. Even keyblade wielders like themselves need back up if the cause is great enough. If you sent them out alone to deal with a big threat and something unexpected happens, how can we be sure that they will be safe?"

Axel moved from his spot, marching right up to Saix until they were meer inches apart. "You think you can do my job for me? Telling me how I should do it? Cause let me tell you _mother_ , I can do what I want and what I say goes."

"Even if it is not beneficial?" Saix said, not even flinching. "What do you think the superior would say if you sent out the only two keyblade wielders separately and one of them got injured because they had no backup support?"

Axel sneered. "You really want to make this difficult then, don't you? I am not letting work together, but," Axel rolled his eyes. "If you are so persistent that the little babies don't get any scratches, you can go with Xion to Agrabah and Roxas can go with…" Axel looked down at his papers. "Luxord is free, so it will be him. There. You happy _mother?"_

Saix swallowed before taking in a deep breath. "Perfectly fine."

"Good, now get out of my sight and get to the damn mission, I'll go inform Luxord of the change in plans," Axel grumbled before storming out of the Grey Room.

Now that the three were alone, Saix finally faced them. He could see how white and paled their face had become from the argument. It was so unexpected and he knew neither of them could properly process what they had just witnessed.

"Are you two all right?" Saix asked as he knelt down to their eye level. "I wouldn't worry about what he said. You two still are strong and well worthy. We just can't take these risks, understand?"

"Yeah," Xion replied as she nodded. "Thank you, Saix."

"Thanks," Roxas added on.

"All right, then we should get going before Axel returns, we will meet up later as usual," Saix said before heading to the portal to leave.

Xion walked right by his side, but chose not to say a word and it seemed neither did Roxas. No doubt both of them were still mauling over what Axel had said to them. He wasn't going to let them go on any missions together anymore. Not unless there was truly a need for it from what Saix could figure.

As the two of them walked through the portal, Saix could hear Xion sighing quietly to herself. "Is it still bothering you, Xion? You can talk more if you prefer."

"I'm just worried… if we don't find a way for me to summon the keyblade, then we… Axel might-"

"Xion," Saix interrupted. "If Axel has anything more to say on this matter, then I will take the wrath personally."

"But how are we going to defeat the Heartless? I still can't use the keyblade! Axel's going to know… and then he might get even angier."

"If the keyblade does not come to you in this battle, then we will have to back out and tell Axel the Heartless managed to escape before we could defeat it."

Xion gasped. "You mean lie? Wouldn't Axel know?"

"I am sure I can persuade him otherwise to believe it."

"Are you sure? It didn't look like you really wanted to agree to you back there. I've never seen him look so upset before. I didn't know Nobodies could _get_ that angry."

"There are still times where we exhibit those old traits, even if we aren't feeling them," Saix explained as they exited out into Agrabah."It seems that Axel is just more uptight than usual."

"So you really think this is going to work?" Xion asked as they started to look around for the Heartless they needed to take care of.

"Just stay by my side and use whatever magic you are able to. I will do the majority of the fighting."

With a nod they started to keep an eye out for the Heartless that would eventually show up. It did as they expected and Saix lunged into his attacks right away. He made sure to keep and eye on Xion, who tried her best to use magic while also staying out of range of the Heartless's attacks.

It was as big of a threat as Saix would have expected, with many attacks being close calls. But the Heartless eventually was beginning to wear down, but it wouldn't be properly defeated. Not without the keyblade. But that was going to have to be another day, unless by some chance Xion did get to summoning hers, though from the looks of it Saix had a feeling that it wouldn't be happening today.

When the Heartless was weakened enough, it finally retreated away, leaving Xion and Saix alone. He had dismissed his weapon when he turned to face her, she was staring down at the ground. He made his way over to her, but she still refused to look up.

"I'm sorry, Saix…"

"There is nothing to be sorry about, the Heartless was too much for us to handle. It is as simple as that."

"B-But… Axel. He won't like it if we haven't defeated the Heartless. He'll find out I don't have the keyblade. I know he will."

Saix placed his hands firmly on Xion's shoulders. Warranting her to look up at him. "Xion. He will not find out about this. I will make sure of that as I said."

"But then we're going to lie? Wouldn't he find out about that and be even more mad?"

Sighing, Saix lowered his head slightly. "This situation is tricky, I will admit that. But I believe it is better to try and keep it hidden until we can figure out how to get your keyblade back. I fear that Axel would be harsher to know the truth now."

He knew for a fact that he didn't like to lie, but it just came so much easier as a Nobody. Even if it was lying against Axel… Saix knew that it had to be done. He wasn't about to let Xion get hurt by Axel for something that she couldn't control. Though the reason why she couldn't summon her keyblade was still unknown, Saix wasn't going to give up yet.

"Thank you, Saix. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here," Xion whispered.

"You're welcome. Now come, let's head to Twilight Town for the evening."

"Okay," Xion said, some of her damper mood lifting away.

* * *

When they got there, Roxas was already waiting for them. "Hey guys, did… everything go okay?"

Saix and Xion took their seats, though now Xion was back to being quiet and reserved. She was staring down at her ice cream but not saying a word. With a sigh, Saix decided to speak up on the matter. "Unfortunately it didn't go as well as we hoped. The Heartless did get away from us."

"And Xion's keyblade… did you…" Roxas turned to Xion who still wouldn't look up.

"Nothing happened…" she answered quietly. "I guess I'm never going to get the keyblade back…"

"No! Don't say that Xion! There has to be a way, right? Right Saix? There has to be something we can do?" Roxas said as he turned to look at Saix with wide eyes.

"There must be something… I do not know the full extent of how a keyblade can work, but I figure there must be some way to recall it. Have…" Saix cut himself off as a thought started to form in his head. "Have you considered the thought of letting Xion use your keyblade for a time?"

Roxas's eyes widened. "No… we didn't actually think about that. Xion! Let's try that!" Roxas stood up and summoned his keyblade, holding it out to Xion.

"But… are you sure? Right now?"

"No time is better than now. If we can figure this out before heading back to the castle, then everything is going to be okay!"

Xion still looked rather hesitant. She pressed her lips together before finally letting out a long exhale. "I guess you have a point."

She stood up and took the keyblade from Roxas, holding it in her hands. She took a few light swings with it and then came to a stop. She closed her eyes and began to concentrate, hoping that would maybe help.

"Well?" Roxas asked. "You feel anything?"

"I don't know…" Xion said as she looked to the keyblade again.

"Is it possible to dismiss the keyblade and re-summon it as if it were your own?" Saix interjected. He still wasn't too sure how keyblades worked, but he had to give it a shot.

"But what if it vanished and I can't summon it back? If I can't bring it back then Roxas can't have his keyblade, and then-"

Saix had his hands on Xion's shoulders before she could continue. "Xion, you must be more confident in yourself. If you are not, then you will make yourself believe you can' you must try to have some faith."

"Hm, right. You're right, Saix. I guess I will try."

Xion took in several deep breaths before she flashed the keyblade away. There seemed to be a glint of hopefulness in her eyes, but she didn't let it grow. She waited shortly before thinking and deeply concentrating. In a flash of light the keyblade was back in her hands.

Sighing, she held it out to inspect it. "I think I did it…"

"Maybe that means you can summon your own now?" Roxas said as he told the keyblade back once Xion handed it to him.

Xion sighed as she looked at her own hand, flexing it slightly. With one more deep breath she closed her eyes tightly and held out her hand. There was nothing at first, but then the flash of light came and the keyblade sat in her hands.

"Look! I did it!"

Saix couldn't help but smile at the sight. "You see? You still had it in you this entire time."

"I guess I really did! Thank you Saix!" Xion said before grinning widely.

"You are welcome, Xion. I am just glad to see that you have the keyblade back.

"I bet all it took was just remembering what it felt like to hold the keyblade," Roxas added as he finally sat back down.

Saix and Xion did the same as Xion gave a nod. "You're right! And now I just need to say thank you so much, to the both of you."

"There's nothing to thank me about," Saix replied. "You did it on your own."

"But you've been helping us! And now if we get sent back to Agrabah we will be able to take care of that Heartless no problem!"

"Yeah, Xion's right. If it wasn't for your smart thinking when talking to Axel, he could have found out otherwise."

Xion nodded happily. "So yeah, that's why I need to thank you, Saix."

"If you must, then you're welcome."

"Should we get some more ice cream to celebrate?" Roxas suddenly asked.

"Oh! Let's do that! To celebrate the moment!"

Xion ran off to get more ice cream and returned shortly after with three new bars of ice cream. She handed them out before going to sit and enjoy another bite of delicious ice cream. After a little bit Roxas laughed lightly before taking a bite into his own ice cream.

"You know, I hope we always have each other."

"Yeah…" Xion agreed softly.

Saix turned to look at him. "Now what makes you say something like that?"

"I just...want these days to last forever. Hanging out, the ice cream, the sunsets…"

Saix could see the hopeful glint in Roxas's eye, and if he was being honest with himself he was truly enjoying these moments. He too wanted them to keep on happening. These were perhaps his most peaceful moments in years. Despite the recent surge of Axel acting harsher, Saix felt much better when he was out here with Roxas and Xion.

But as much as he wanted to hold on to it, he knew the truth of the matter. "I agree, it would be nice. But part of life is change, and change means not everything is going to remain the same. But even with that, we will stand by each other's sides."

"Oh?"

"People may change or events as well, but sometimes all that is needed is having each other. As long as you don't forget the important parts in life."

"Wow," Roxas said. "That sounds really interesting. You mean that?"

"I try my best to convey what I am thinking. If it goes over your heads, I am sorry."

Xion was laughing now. "It's fine, Saix. You're trying your best."

"Thank you," Saix replied in a soft voice.

* * *

That night the trio turned in their reports at roughly the same time. Saix wanted to make sure that Axel wouldn't do anything too rash but he seems to have cooled down from the morning. He took the reports without a word from then and that seemed to be all. At least that was what Saix thought until he started to head down the hallway to his room.

Out of nowhere he was shoved into the wall and Axel was glaring at him. "If you think for a single minute I have bought any of your crap, then you're highly mistaken."

Saix gave him an equal glare in return. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh _sure_ you don't. Come on Saix, I know you're keeping something from me. You actually want me to believe that you went out with the other zombie and _failed_ to defeat the Heartless? Honestly you think I am that stupid?"

"It got away from us before we could do anything about it," Saix replied calmly.

"You're really trying to be full of it aren't you? Whatever you are trying to hide, don't bother. I'll find out eventually and then you'll really be in for it."

"Lea," Saix hissed quickly. He was trying his best to restrain himself, he just let a little slip. "I fear that you are letting your power as second in command get to your head."

"I've been doing this for years, I know what I am doing. You are the one who is hiding things and acting differently. I'm just trying to keep order with how things are run."

"But why does it matter what I do? What reason do you have to jump at me like this?"

"Because!" Axel grumbled. His eyes narrowed more and he barely even blinked. He gritted his teeth before finally letting go of Saix and backed off. Now standing a few inches away he let out a long exhale. "Just don't think you can get away with any secrets."

He stormed off before Saix could even find something to reply with. Now left alone Saix let out his own long exhale, not truly knowing what to make of it. It was so out of nowhere and had ended just as fast. As always like everything else with Axel, it just left Saix with more and more unanswered questions.

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 96**

_Today's mission was a bit odd at first. Xion and I got separated cause Axel said so. But Saix managed to convince him to let him go with Xion. At the clock tower at least we finally solve the issue of Xion's keyblade. Now we don't have to worry about Axel finding out, and we wouldn't be in any trouble. We got to have double the ice cream today because of the big moment. It was really nice._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Despite a disruption in plans from Axel, by the end of the day Xion was able to regain her ability to wield the keyblade. I don't know if honestly what I suggested actually helped, but maybe it did do some good after all. But there are still many more questions I have about the keybalde, maybe ones I will find out for one day._

_But on a different note, Axel almost could have gone too far. He never got to that point, but I was sure he could have if I had not stepped in. But with his outlandish behavior I have never felt more distant from him than ever before. There was already that gap from all these years, but today it felt even wider. I actually feel closer with the time that I spend with Roxas and Xion than what I remember with Lea… The old days of friendship I thought were so long gone, but I think I am remembering what that is like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally updated on this story! It is caught up with my FF posting finally.   
> I hope that anyone here still is enjoying this story. I shall keeper going cause I got a lot more fun in store.


	21. Chapter 21

While Saix did worry how the next days would go, things seemed to quiet down much to his surprise. The very next day Xion was sent back out to take out the Heartless that had not been defeated before. Axel made sure that day that she would go alone, only making Saix worry that Axel had in fact figured out what had gone on before. There was no persuading Axel this time and trying to push him on the subject would only make things worse.

But of course Xion had her keyblade again. There was no need to even ask to follow with her, Saix could only hope though that she would be able to handle it by herself now. When the end of the day came and he went to meet Roxas and Xion at the clock tower, he couldn't even begin to explain the strange memories of relief that flooded his mind. She was proud though, happy that she could manage on her own again with the keyblade.

The days were moving by quickly, but at the same time they were slow and pleasurable at the end of the day. The only thing that Saix found himself interested in doing was going out to the clock tower now. He used to bury himself in his mission reports, working as best as he could once Axel became second in command. He rarely let himself have any moment to relax for he saw no reason to do it if he was alone.

But now there was a reason.

Having Roxas and Xion there was the reason that seemed to make it all worth it. Even if they didn't have huge decisions, it was still enough for him. But of course things could not stay peaceful forever. Saix knew it well enough at this point. He had to remind himself some days that this wasn't just a leisurely life. There were stakes at hand and still much more to come.

Early one morning Saix was preparing himself when he heard the sound of a portal in his room. He turned around to see Axel standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Once again he didn't care to knock at all, and he looked far more uncaring than the last time that he did it.

"So," Axel started off. "There's something I need to ask."

"And what would that be? I know me saying no isn't going to stop you anyway," Saix snipped.

He could hear Axel scoff. "Well you're right about that. But anyways, what has the little puppet been doing?"

"Puppet?" Saix asked as he whipped around.

"Better name than mask head," Axel shrugged.

Saix tried not to grind his teeth together. He had to mentally restraint himself from saying something that would be classified as going too far. Axel already was crossing that line, but Saix was not about to let himself stoop that low. He would never play to Axel's games like that.

"What about Xion?"

"I asked what she has been doing. You can't play dumb about this. I know you and zombie boy go out to the clock tower with her."

"And that means I am to confess what I do in my spare time? Aren't I allowed to have some personal space over certain matters?"

"Yeah I guess, but I thought that _friends_ told each other things. Maybe I was wrong," Axel replied as he shrugged.

"If you came here just to chastise me, then I will have to ask you to please leave my room."

"Nah, you don't have to _act_ so annoyed. It's not a big deal. Anyways you and the puppet have a mission today. Just pairing up as it is needed from time to time and everything."

Saix narrowed his eyes. "I highly doubt you barged into my room at this early hour to just inform me of that. You have something else you want to say to me, correct?"

"At least spending time with puppets and zombies hasn't worn down your brain," Axel laughed. "You're right though. You got something else important coming up. You'll be having a new mission to Castle Oblivion soon."

Saix hummed as he moved to take a seat at his desk. He knew he could tell from Axel's words that there was more to this than met the eye. Axel would probably just barge in anyways nowadays to bother him, given the circumstances between them. But still there was something else about the way he spoke.

"And is this mission ordered by Xemnas… or by you?"

Axel grinned. "I think you should know the answer, you just proved you were smart enough to figure out I even had something else. But if you want the easy way out, yes Xemnas still wants some more answers. As you said in your reports, the place still has a lot of secrets and mysteries. Now this next part is the tough part, what do you think is the part Xemnas is really curious about?"

"The supposed chamber, yes I know."

"Then you would know why Xemnas still wants to try and find it."

"But what purpose would there be to try if I already spent countless weeks trying to no avail."

"I guess you really aren't seeing the bigger picture," Axel said as he walked over to Saix. He leaned over and brought himself closer to Saix's face. "You should have more reason to go. Since you have such apparent _care_ for the puppet, maybe you _care_ to help her. To learn of her past that she has no memories of."

"What are you trying to imply?" Saix trended carefully with his words. Since he knew Axel liked playing with his words and beating around the bush, he didn't want to take any chances. But it did make him wonder though,

"Don't act thickheaded. You know what I am getting at," Axel scoffed as he stood back up. "Castle Oblivion. Xion. And Namine."

"And Namine?" Saix raised an eyebrow.

"Of course. She is just another one you seem to fake care for, am I right? Since she is still out there somewhere after all. Not that she has anything to do with this, but hey it's all tied together isn't it?"

Saix sighed as he watched Axel walk back to the door. "The reason for me going is still more for your benefit over Xemnas's."

Axel stopped and turned around, sporting a cold grin. "Now what makes you say that?"

"Xemnas has his reasons to find the chamber. Whatever those reasons are, you want to know cause I highly doubt he has even told you them."

Axel was silent, his grin faded away. Saix had hit the nail right on the head.

"Two chambers," Axel stated. "The Chamber of Repose and the opposite the Chamber of Waking… they are both tied together. But it is the Chamber of Waking which Xemnas really wants. The one we cannot seem to find. If we found that, we could finally gain the information that Xemnas has been keeping to himself. If you still honestly want to move on with our plans, you know what we need."

When Axel said 'our plans' Saix's eyes widened a little. He had not heard Axel talk about their plans in ages. He had thought by this point things were too far gone to even have mention of such things. But here he was, bringing them up again as if it was no big deal.

"You think you can still handle such big tasks? After all," Axel continued. "You failed last time to keep up part of your private mission."

"Zexion slipped out from under my radar as I explained."

"Yes and I had to deal with it. Maybe you've gotten too soft for something like this."

Saix breathed in slowly, still reminding himself to be careful. "Vexen was still something that-"

"Yeah I know," Axel said quickly. "It's whatever. You just do what you are instructed, okay? That's all we need. You do the dirty work and leave the rest to me. Just don't let me have to handle all _your_ dirty work again, got it?"

Saix said nothing as Axel summoned a corridor.

"I'll give you the details on your solo mission soon enough." He could hear Axel let out a huff of air before walking through the portal. Once it closed, Saix exhaled a breath he didn't realize he had been holding on to. But he was alone again… alone to be with his thoughts.

" _A solo mission to Castle Oblivion. Going back there… just to look for a chamber. I highly doubt I will find anything… but…"_ Saix reflected over what Axel had said. " _I knew Namine originated from there. Her origins are not conventional… not by Nobody standards. But does that apply to Xion? What reasons could she be tied to such a strange place? Hm… maybe the mission will be something worthwhile after for my own benefit."_

* * *

When he met up with Xion later in the morning, he tried his best to put everything else out of mind. He had a mission to focus on and he wasn't going to let it get dragged down with concerning thoughts.

"Good morning Saix!" Xion replied when she saw him. "You ready for our mission today?"

"Yes, let me know when you are ready to leave, okay?"

"Right!"

The two of them headed out shortly after Xion gathered up some potions. The mission itself wasn't too terrible, not with the two of them working side by side. It was just the normal Heartless to take care of anyways, nothing too big or major. As they went along though Saix watched as Xion fought with her keyblade. She still staggered time to time, and had trouble completing some attacks, but she was managing fairly well otherwise.

But he could tell there was still a lot of room for her to improve and recover what she had lost over the time she was without her keyblade. " _Perhaps if we get the chance I can help her train. For a later time though when it is most optimal."_

When they got to the clock tower they started to eat their ice cream as they waited, but the minutes stretched by. Soon enough time passed and still Roxas had not shown up yet, and it was already getting late.

"Where do you think Roxas could be? Is he just working late?"

"I would assume so. It's not too often that a mission goes over the usual expected time, but it isn't flat out unexpected."

"So he probably won't make it today."

"I suppose not, but there are always the other days. We shouldn't let it worry us," Saix replied.

"Oh, okay. You're right. It's just weird for him to not be here for a day."

"Indeed."

After that they fell silent, finishing up their ice creams without another word. But eventually Saix could hear a soft hum from Xion. "Hm… Saix?"

"Yes Xion?"

"Is it all right if I ask you something?"

Saix nodded. "Go ahead."

"You know how you were talking the other day about how we have a past we are supposed to remember? But Roxas and I just couldn't remember? Well… when I sit here with you guys, it's weird... I get the strangest feeling I used to watch the sun set with somebody else. Or when I'm by the sea…" From her pocket she pulled out a small seashell. "When I look at the water, and hear the waves lapping against the shore… it's almost like I can hear another voice."

"Is that so?" Saix questioned. "It might mean that your memories are starting to filter back. Or there is something that is trying to recall those lost memories."

Xion started to shake her head. "I don't know though… I think they are memories. But it just seems weird to have them. Maybe it's just because I forgot everything and now I am trying to remember?"

"That could be a possibility. I still am not entirely sure over the matter."

"But you weren't like that right? You remember everything from the start?"

"Correct," Saix answered. "You and Roxas are still mysterious as to why you don't have your memories. But I still do hope we can find a way to help you two regain them."

"Thanks Saix. I hope so too. I would like to know who I was before…"

" _So would I Xion, especially if what Axel was alluding to was true or not. I guess I will find out in time."_

* * *

**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 117**

_Today it was me and Xigbar. Saix and Xion went out on their own mission. Xigbar told me that Xion and me are "exceptional"... you know, like, special Nobodies. Because we can use the Keyblade? Work dragged on late, so I didn't make it up to the clock tower. I wonder if Xion and Saix made it. Those pictures started flashing through my head again on the mission. The boy in red... What's it all about? Maybe when Xigbar called me "special" he meant "crazy"..._

_Seriously, though, is Xion experiencing the same thing? It feels weird to ask._

**Secret Report: Saix**

_Once again things just never seem to add up. I think for once we can move back into a calm trend of missions, but Axel comes along with something new. This time he is telling me I am going to go back to Castle Oblivion but alone. I am to search for the chamber on Xemnas's behalf but at the same time I am doing it for Axel's reasons to find out more about Xemnas's plans._

_He said that Xion also came from the same place as Namine, which would be Castle Oblivion. But that only opens up to more questions. I wish I could just get some solid answers for once. I have never felt so lost before in all of this. I feel more lost than ever, but at least I am able to find some solace in the moments I spend at the clock tower with Roxas and Xion._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I finally got a new chapter out. Woo. I didn't realize before that I was working so much on my FF stories, but I switched back now! Hope you all enjoyed!


	22. Chapter 22

Waking up early as he normally did, Saix made his way to the Grey Room, but when he reached there he saw it was empty. No other members were sitting there, Axel himself wasn't even in the room. Saix would have questioned if something had happened, if he had not seen the small piece of paper taped to the window.

It read 'Operations Closed For Vacation' in large lettering. There wasn't much else to think about it other than now he had to decide how he would spend the day. He assumed he would be free unless Axel came along to interrupt him from an actual day of relaxing. There were many things he thought he could do, but he found himself at an indecisive spot. Finding the best way to clear his thoughts was a quiet walk, he exited the Grey Room and started to make his way around the castle.

A walk was what he needed, just a way to help him wake up, but he knew it was not a solid choice for the entirety of the day. Eventually he would need to find something else to apply himself too, but he still wasn't too sure what that would be yet. He knew he could spend his day in the library or another area just doing whatever research he pleased, but he already did enough of that when he was normally working.

" _There has to be something…"_ Saix muttered as he rounded the corner of one hallway.

Along the way he stopped to ponder some more, feeling more indecisive than he had before. Eventually he heard footsteps coming from the direction he had just walked. Turning to look he saw none other than Roxas approaching him.

"Ah Roxas, good to see you this morning."

"Hey Saix. So what's this all about a vacation? I don't understand…"

"I understand you still have yet to recall your memories, but you don't recall anything about what a vacation is?"

Roxas shook his head. "No. Am I supposed to do anything on vacation? Like what is my job?"

Saix chuckled silently to himself at Roxas's naive questions. "There is no job to do during vacation. You are free from doing what you normally do and have the chance to relax doing more pleasurable or entertaining things."

"Like what? What are you doing on your vacation?"

"Unfortunately I haven't figured that part out yet. There was a thought to train or do research but for myself I found that too much like what I would normally do when not on vacation."

"So you're supposed to do other things that what you normally do?"

"That is the general statement but I suppose if you really want to keep up on certain daily things then you may do so," Saix replied.

"I think I get it now… I guess I gotta figure out what I want to do then…" Roxas hummed thoughtfully as he stared down at the floor.

"Well if I have yet to find anything later on, maybe there could be something we could do together," Saix suggested.

"Oh? Well okay, but I think I should find what I wanna do, since that is what vacations are all about apparently."

Saix found himself to be chuckling again at Roxas. "If you say so. Then I as well shall find something for myself."

"Can we still meet for ice cream later?" Roxas asked.

"Of course, that doesn't have to change because of a vacation."

"Okay good. Just wanted to check. See you later Saix," Roxas said as he started back on his walk.

Now left alone once more, Saix turned to the nearest window and stared outside that The World That Never Was. The dark vast world before him was still a huge mysterious place to all of them. They would only go down there to the world itself if there was some urgent Heartless problem, but even then those urgent calls were not very frequent.

That still left the world itself to be full of those mysteries, all unanswered. A dark world that never saw sunshine and was full of empty streets and cities with no one to live there. Half the time it would rain out there and the other half was just a dry and eerie endless night. Truly a place that Saix was sure no one could ever understand.

With his mind now wandering to the wonders of the world he had spent so many years in, yet never truly spent them in the world, he decided to head out there. He wasn't sure what the purpose of it would be other than exploring but it would be something to kill time on his day off.

" _Maybe there will be something worthwhile in the end,"_ Saix thought to himself as he summoned up a portal to take him down to the world itself.

Once down there he began his walk down the dark alleyways. The lights and neon signs flickers brightly down at him, only adding to the questions of how this world worked. Or perhaps what was this world years ago? Saix really had no idea, but he kept these thoughts stored just in case he did end up discovering anything.

But what he did not expect was to catch a glimpse of something or maybe someone in the far distance. Saix blinked, unsure if he had even seen anything at all or if his mind was just playing tricks on him. He started to move forward, wondering if he had seen anything at all.

When he got closer to where he had thought something was, he once again caught something moving in the corner of his eye.

Something was definitely here and it was most likely watching him.

"Who goes there?" Saix asked aloud. "If you think it is wise to sneak from the shadows, then you will be sadly mistaken."

There was some faint shuffling and then moving again from one of the darkened alleyways. Slowly someone was coming into view and Saix was ready to summon his claymore at a moment's notice. He stood his ground though, giving the benefit of the doubt that he would not have to resort to fighting to deal with whatever was coming his way.

When he saw the figure step out of the shadows he thought it was one of his own members from the Organization for they wore the cloak. But upon looking further as the person came into the dim light of the neon signs, he saw the hair was much lighter than any one round other than Xemnas. But he never left the castle as far as Saix knew and there was also the fact that the body shape did not match.

But as soon as they stepped closer, he knew who it was. Long silver hair now pulled back into a ponytail, and a rather serious expression covered his face. Saix knew it either had to be Riku or his replica, but Saix wasn't about to ask as he still respected the choice that the replica find his own way to be his own person. Saix had a feeling though that this was not Riku based on how the boy was wearing his hair now, but he thought better to save the questions for a later moment.

"Just needed to make sure that you were alone," the boy replied quietly. "Didn't think it would be good to have anyone else see me."

"And just what was it that you were doing here?" Saix asked. Even if he was on vacation he still had to keep and eye out for any trouble no matter what. He wasn't about to let the castle get any surprise attack or anything else of the matter.

"Investigating. It's just me though… the one who isn't Riku."

"Ah, have you decided on a name for yourself yet?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Going by Ace now."

"Ace?" Saix asked.

"Yup far different then 'Riku'... plus I think it's cool," the boy, known now as Ace, said before shrugging slightly.

"Well I am happy that you are finding your place as your own person," Saix said as he nodded, "But what brings you to this world? It isn't safe for you to be here. There must be more than just investigating."

"It's just what I'm doing to kill time and stuff. Namine is doing all the work and…" Ace trailed off quickly, looking upset before he averted his eyes.

"I won't speak of anything that happens here. You have my word that I will keep it a secret just like before."

"Yeah I believe you, but I'd still have to talk to the others about it. You know… to be safe and stuff…"

"I understand, but do be aware while I am glad you and the others got out safely from Castle Oblivion, I won't be able to do anything if I am requested to find you again. I fear that Xemnas still wants to know where Namine has disappeared to," Saix said calmly, thinking it was best to leave out the fact he was being called back to Castle Oblivion soon. He highly doubted that any of them were still there, but while he wanted to hope for their safety at the same time if Axel found out what he was doing he would surely get into more trouble than he wanted.

"Yeah… I get it. But I did want to say thanks again… for giving me a chance to figure out myself. I really don't know where I would be otherwise."

"I'm glad that you're finding your way. I wish the circumstances were better to discuss them though."

"Isn't there anything you could do though? Like… I don't know… I want to talk more and stuff, but it's risky I know."

Saix stared at Ace and he could see the look in his eyes, he already knew that Ace was thankful to him, and no doubt in some form admired him. He was the only Organization member to show him kindness. Not even Vexen who was the creator of the Replica Program showed him and kind of care or consideration, he only wanted results for his experiments. It was not something that Saix agreed with at all especially how he saw Ace had been developing by himself.

Walking closer, Saix placed a hand on Ace's arm. "It would be risky yes, but if we can find a way we could make it work. It all depends on the where and the when considering I do have work to attend to most days."

"Well where would be the best spot?"

"I would say this world as it is already heavy in darkness and it would be hard to tell if it is a person here or just another dark entity. But at the same time Axel or any other member could grow suspicious of me heading out here for unexplained reasons."

"What about Twilight Town?"

"It's a place a few of us will go on missions and also is where I meet up with my friends," Saix replied softly, the thought of friends being just something that was casual to him now.

"With Sora's Nobody and the keyblade girl right?" Ace asked, giving a long and serious look.

"You would be correct," Saix replied with a nod.

"So… what do we do then?"

"I'm not sure yet. I think I would need to mull over the thoughts some more before giving any final decision. Until then I would advise to keep away until I know we can set up something safe."

Ace sighed before giving his only little nod. "Right… I take it you'll come and find me then?"

"I'll try to as it is safer that way."

"Okay… sorry to take up your time today," Ace said as he shuffled back. "I should be getting back to the others anyways."

"I understand, but it was nice to see you again, Ace," Saix said as he offered a smile.

"Same to you. I'll see you some other time I guess…"

With that Ace snuck back into the shadows and it was like he was never there at all. Now that he was alone again, Saix made his way back to The Castle that Never Was, needing to still find something else to occupy his mind for the remainder of the day.

Though the thoughts still swirled around in his head, making it harder to focus on anything else. No matter what he tried thinking he kept jumping back to his short encounter. Unexpected, it still gave him some reassurance that Namine and the others were safe. What they were doing he didn't know, and he wasn't sure if Ace would ever be allowed to tell. There was an unsettling feeling in the back of his head that everything was connected, but putting the pieces together would be far more dangerous than just pondering the 'what if' of it.

He would have to leave it be for the time being, not until he knew it would be safe. So until then he would have to do other things to get his mind off of the tricky subject matter. Evemtually he settled on some light reading to pass the remainder of the day until he headed out to Twilight Town for his daily ice cream meeting.

It wasn't all too long thankfully before Roxas showed up and sat down next to him. "Hey Saix."

"Hello Roxas, and how was your vacation day?"

"I think it went good," Roxas said before starting to explain just what it was that happened during the day.

"Well," Saix started once Roxas finished. "Sounds like your day was productive at least. I do wonder about those children though, they always seem to be out and about."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not necessarily. If it is their summer vacation it's fine, but I can't recall when that would be off hand."

"Summer vacation is something children get after months of school… best way to say it is this, imagine a day like today but for several weeks."

"Several weeks?! That sounds insane! It took me forever to figure what to do just for today."

Saix laughed lightly. "I can understand, but eventually you get into a groove and find activities to do during that time. Especially… when you have the friends to spend it with."

"Is that what you used to do? Before you were a Nobody?"

Saix hummed as he stared off into the sunset, letting some of the memories trickle in. "Yes… I just haven't given them much thought in a long while."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Roxas. You didn't know, so no harm done," Saix replied before he mentally pushed away the days of what once was.

"Hey, guys. How did I know you'd be here?" Both turned to see Xion enter the area and take her usual seat next to Roxas.

"Hey Xion, did you end up going anywhere?" Roxas asked.

"No… why? Did you guys go somewhere without me?"

"I was around Twilight Town, but I didn't ask Saix yet what he was up to."

"I didn't do much else. I had gone on a walk and then went to do some reading." Saix had thought to mention at least running into a friend, but he knew that the two would question him on just who he had seen. Once again he wanted to try and keep things as safe as he could so he had to avoid as much confrontation on the subject as possible.

"A walk sounds peaceful," Xion commented. "Maybe next time we get a vacation I'll have to try that."

"We won't probably get another for a while, work resumes as usual tomorrow."

"Yeah…"

"I can hope though," Xion added.

Saix hummed again, mulling over his thoughts. Everything was brought back to what Axel had said to him the other day. Like the first time he had left for Castle Oblivion, he let Roxas know to be courteous. Now Xion was here too, but in the end it was all the same. He wanted them to at least know so there would be no need to worry, not that Nobodies really worried anyway.

"While work does continue tomorrow, I won't be sticking around for a while."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Roxas asked.

"I've got a special mission that I am to go out on."

Xion looked at Saix, a little curiosity in her eyes. "Can you tell us where?"

"I would like to but…" He would have probably told them like he told Roxas the first time, but with how things had been changing with Axel, he feared it would be unwise. No doubt if he told them Axel would somehow find out and wouldn't approve of such things. The last thing he wanted was for Roxas and Xion to be harmed while he was away.

"It would be better if it remained a secret. I'm sorry… but perhaps once I return I can better explain myself."

"Oh?" Xion looked a little confused now. "I guess that makes sense."

"I just want to inform you I won't be around much, don't let Axel know that I told you though. You know… how he can be with things like this."

Now it was Roxas's turn to hum in agreement. "Yeah… we know."

"But I trust in the both of you that you can make it through."

"Glad to see you still have faith in us!" Roxas laughed and Xion joined in shortly after. Even Saix chuckled softly at Roxas's sudden statement. It would be an nice thing to remember before he left for a while.

* * *

By the time Saix returned to the castle, it was later than he originally thought, but on the other hand he saw Axel waiting for him just as he expected. Axel was glaring with those golden eyes as Saix approached, his arms crossed and an annoyed scowl molded into his face.

"You sure took your sweet ass time."

"It was my vacation was it not? Am I not free to enjoy a day of relaxation?"

"It's not enjoyable for me when I gotta waste time waiting for you when you're wasting your own time with the zombie and puppet," Axel scoffed.

"Again… _My_ vacation is the keyword here."

"Whatever. You're just wasting away your time trying to get attached to them," Axel grumbled before turning the other way. "You've changed…"

With a huff of annoyance, Axel marched off… and Saix let him go without a word said otherwise. But the thoughts were swirling in his head. The ' _You've changed.'_ echoing back and forth in his mind. With benign alone he let out a sigh, trying to find something to understand. But it was late and he couldn't wrap his head all around it, so he headed off to his room.

* * *

_**Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 118** _

_Today was my first vacation ever. I didn't know what to do with it. Saix_

_said to do things that you don't normally do but they gotta be entertaining or relaxing or something like that… whatever all that really means, but all I like is having ice cream with my friends… so that's what I ended up doing._

_Saix leaves tomorrow for some kind of mission. Which reminds me… I still haven't given him the WINNER stick yet._

_**Secret Report: Saix** _

_Somehow there is always a way I end up thinking about the past when I talk to Roxas and Xion. They always ask just the right questions that bring back those old memories I thought I had forgotten. It is strange though to think upon them now compared to when I first became a Nobody. It's not as bad thinking back yet at the same time there is an emptiness to thinking on them._

_The memories are always those with Axel… when we were once Isa and Lea. Those memories are the ones always stored away in the reassess of my mind. One would think that thinking upon past memories would be better shared with Axel himself, but the last time we were on the clock tower together was far too long ago. That connection has faded and I fear I no longer will be able to salvage it. I want to… but still just the same as every other time I write about this… I just don't know how._

_Axel told me today that I had changed… but I don't see much change in me at all. If anything it is you Axel who has changed, but you fail to see it through whatever curtain you hide behind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back yet again!! Thank you all as always for reading this!! And I hope to see you next time!


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